


A Wicked Game

by itsmorgan



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: 50 Shades of Grey - Freeform, BDSM, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Rough Sex, all kinds of other shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-03-05 06:57:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 77,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3110327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmorgan/pseuds/itsmorgan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss has been in control of her family's life since the untimely passing of her father. She likes being in control but maybe all Katniss needs to finally find a piece of mind is to hands the reigns over to someone else for a little while. [based off of 50 shades of grey]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Million Dollar Man

**Author's Note:**

> Starting a new fic, surprise surprise. This one is based off of the books 50 shades of grey. Only in this story, Katniss will have more of a voice than Ana ever did and Peeta won't be a giant dick, though there might be some moments where Peeta isn't his normal caring and selfless self. I really wanted to focus on Peeta's 'mutt' side and came up with this sexy little number. The title is from the song Wicked Game covered by Gemma Hayes, it's a beautiful song in my opinion. 
> 
> Music that inspired me, [here](http://8tracks.com/itsmorrgan/a-wicked-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The respected parts of this fic goes to both Suzanne Collins and E.L. James. This fic is based off of Fifty Shades of Grey using The Hunger Games characters. There will be original content, and those are mine. I'm not just plopping down what James wrote about Ana and Christian and replacing it with Peeta and Katniss. This is very mature, so read carefully.

I look at the reflection of my little sister in my mirror above my antique dresser. She crawled into my bed at around midnight with a fever and a raging cough, crying about her body aching all over. Ever since we can both remember, whenever she was sick, which was a lot when she was younger, she’d crawl into my bed instead of our parents, especially after our father died and our mother checked out.

Prim smiles weakly up at me, her pale face even paler. “Thank you for doing this for me.”

“It’s fine.”

“No it’s not. I know how much you hate talking to people.”

She’s right, I loathe talking to people. I much rather spend my time safe in the homemade bubble that I surround myself, with only Prim and my best friend Gale to talk to. I hadn’t always been a recluse; it’s just another thing that’s changed since that day when I was twelve years old.

“I just need your interview questions and I’ll be fine. Do you want me to pick you up some soup when I’m finished?” I watch as Prim shakes her head no. “I’ll bring you in some medicine before I leave though, okay?”

“Thank you,” she croaks.

I feel bad for her really, that’s why I’m doing this for her. That and I’d do anything for my sister. But if I’m being truthful when she asked me to take her place in interviewing _Seattle’s Most Eligible Bachelor_ (or that is what I’ve heard Prim say yet I still have no idea who Peeta Mellark is), I did consider saying no. But it wasn’t like anyone else could do it and Prim needed it for school, so I bit back my own fears and issues and nodded my head yes.

I finish getting dressed, borrowing Prim’s clothing because it wouldn’t be appropriate to meet a multi-millionaire in torn up jeans, a Seattle University hoodie, and Converses.  Instead I stole a charcoal gray pencil skirt, forest green chiffon blouse that I’ve tucked in, and ridiculous heels that Prim always walks in so flawlessly. I considered doing my hair but it’s still braided and resting over my right shoulder, as it always is. Prim is asleep again by the time I set the cough syrup on the nightstand along with a little note for her to read when she wakes up. Hopefully she stays asleep until I return home.

***

Mellark Enterprises is located in the heart of Seattle. It’s not too has from the subdivision I live in with my mother and Prim located on the west side of the city. Even still with its close distance, I’ve somehow managed to be late as I throw my old truck into park in the parking garage across the street and barely take the keys from the ignition before I’m running towards the building, not bothering to for cars as I cross the street.

A red haired girl with porcelain skin greets me with a smile from behind an impressive sandstone desk.

“Welcome to Mellark Enterprises, how may I help you?”

“Uh,” I stutter. “I have an appointment with Mr. Mellark. I’m Katniss Everdeen for Primrose Everdeen.”

“One moment please,” the girl says before picking up a phone and dials a few numbers after putting it up to her ear. “I have a Ms. Everdeen here saying she has an appointment with Mr. Mellark.” She pauses as she listens to whoever is at the other end of the line. “Okay, thank you.”

After she hangs up the phone again she smiles at me once more. “If you could just sign in here,” she hands me a clipboard, “then take the elevator to the twentieth floor, Meredith will assist you from there. Have a great day.”

“Thank you,” I say before scurrying to the elevator.

Meredith, on the twentieth floor, is another young girl with beautiful ebony skin and black hair with brown eyes that are hidden behind stylish glasses. “Good morning, Ms. Everdeen. Mr. Mellark is expecting you; you can just go ahead in.”

I’m flustered but I nod my head as I work my way to the large oak double doors quickly, tripping on the stubborn heals I’m wearing and tumbling head first into the large office.

“Shit,” I mutter to myself. The notecards of Prim’s that I had been holding in my hand scatter across the white marble floor. I scramble on my hands and knees trying my fastest to pick them up without causing an even bigger scene that I’ve already had.

I stop immediately when highly polished black dress shoes appear in front of me. I audibly gulp and timidly look up to see a much younger man than expected and far more handsome than the image I conjured up of him in my head. He holds out a hand to help me up and I take it.

“Sorry Sir,” I mutter quickly. “I’m not normally this klutzy.”

He clears his throat before speaking, “It’s quite alright Primrose.”

“Actually Sir, its Katniss. I’m Primrose’s sister; she is very ill and couldn’t make but does send her deepest apologies. She has been looking forward to meeting you.”

“Well then send her my regards, _Katniss_. Please have a seat,” Mr. Mellark ushers me to the large black chairs that are positioned near the floor to ceiling windows that showcases the bay perfectly.

I sit in the chair across from him and before I get the tape recorder out of my large bag I take in the man to be Peeta Mellark. He’s too handsome to be considered a person really. He’s more God-like. Broad shoulders hidden underneath of a well trailered suit jacket. I hate to even think what else that jacket is hiding, he probably works out religiously. His jaw looks to be chiseled out of marble, square and manly. His blonde, tousled hair reminds me of a frat boy, but it also makes me want to run my fingers through it just to see if it’s as soft as it really seems. It’s not until I get to Mr. Mellark’s eyes that my heart stops. I thought Prim had bright blue eyes but they are nothing compared the crystal ones that I’m staring at now. They are truly captivating, how the bright morning sun reflects off of them like they are mirrors of the Caribbean Sea.

“Ms. Everdeen?” Mr. Mellark interrupts my daydream.

“Oh yes, right,” I remind myself to get the voice recorder out. “Do you mind if I record this? It’ll just be for future references, no one but my sister will be hearing it.”

“It’s fine.”

I nod my head and push the button with the red circle on it, the clicks making the ancient machine coming to life.

“So,” I begin as I look down that the note cards that I’ve done a horrible job of putting back into order. Oh well. “Mr. Mellark, you are the sole owner of Mellark Enterprises, which is one of the wealthiest enterprises not only in the United States, but in the world. When you first started, did you ever think that it would be at the magnitude that it is today?”

“I don’t think anyone would have guessed it. If someone would have told eighteen year old me that I’d go from gambling on owning a mom and pop diner in a sketchy part of Seattle to being on the cover of magazines, I’d have laughed in their face.”

“Do you find it humbling that you started with nothing?”

“Very humbling,” Mr. Mellark answers. “I was homeless at one time, so that is why I donate a lot of my time and money to schools and various charities. I know what it feels like to be cold, hungry and everyone telling you that your ideas and dreams are pointless. Every child should have a chance to make their dreams come true; their background shouldn’t hinder it from happening.”

His answer isn’t one that I was expecting. “Is that why you bought Capitol High School all new text books as well as funding the arts programs?”

Mr. Mellark nods. “It was actually your sisters doing. She had e-mailed my assistant at the beginning of the school year talking about how generous I’ve been and that her school is in need of assistance because the government cannot provide them with enough money for many of the basic things.”

“Without your contribute to the school, there wouldn’t have been a homecoming, Prom or even a graduation ceremony, let alone any extracurricular activities.”

“Extracurricular activities are very important. They kept my brother and me off the streets and on the right path. I wrestled while he was on the swim team. Without those, I know that we would be living very differently than how we are today.”

“You were adopted, correct?”

“Yes, as well as my brother and sister. They were both adopted at birth while I was adopted when I was seven.”

“Do you think that has shaped you in anyway?”

Mr. Mellark rests his elbow on the arm of the chair and rubs his stubbly chin with his pointer finger. I can tell that he’s not comfortable with this topic but it’s a question that is written on the card and I’m not going to not ask it.

“I don’t remember a time before my mother, father and siblings so I have no way of knowing if it shaped me in anyway.”

It’s me nodding my head this time. Before I’m able to ask my next question a soft knock comes from the large oak doors I stumbled through not too long ago before they open and Meredith pokes her head in.

“Mr. Mellark, your next appointment is here.”

“I’m not finished with Ms. Everdeen; will you reschedule and apologize for me?”

“Certainly.”

Once the door is closed again I speak. “We can finish here if this is an inconvenience for you. I’m sure Prim has enough material here to write something for her school editorial.”

“Its fine, Katniss,” he smiles a white-tooth smile. “Besides, I’d like to know a little bit more about you.”

I pause, probably looking like a scared deer in headlights. Why does this man want to know about me? That is not how one-sided interviews go. “Uh, there isn’t a lot to know about me.”

“I’m sure there is. Are you in school?”

“I’m graduating this year from Seattle University.”

“What is your major?”

“Environmental Sciences,” I answer.

“Interesting, and what do you plan on doing once you graduate?”

“There is a company that I have an interview with after graduation that deals with finding new ways to use reusable energy.”

“That’s great. I’m always looking at new ways to get Mellark Enterprises to go greener. Maybe, we can find a way to work together in the not so distant future.”

“I’d like that very much, Sir.”

Mr. Mellark smirks and gives me a look that makes me squirm in my seat. That yearning to run my fingers through his hair is back and I have to force myself not to reach out for him. I bit my bottom lip but the moment Mr. Mellark makes a pointed look at me I release it.

“Is that all, Ms. Everdeen?” he asks in a sultry voice.

“Uh, yes,” I answer far too quickly. “But I was supposed to ask if you were willing to pose for a photo for the school year book as well as the pamphlet they will be passing out at graduation?”

“It would be my pleasure. My assistant, Meredith will set it up for us, if you would just give her the information needed.”

We stand from our chairs at the same time. Mr. Mellark holds out his hand for me to shake. I take it, and we hold onto each other for a beat too long as Mr. Mellark continues to make eye contact with me that leaves me breathless. If his business somehow fails, I’m sure he’d have no troubles convincing people that he was a hypnotist.

Placing a hand on the small of my back, he guides me to the doors. “To make sure you do not trip again,” he smirks as he follows me out into the lobby with his hand still on my back to keep my balance.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll be seeing you, Katniss Everdeen,” he tells me before he disappears into his office and closes the doors behind him.

 _I’ll be seeing you._ What does that mean? When will he be seeing me? I give Meredith Prim’s cell phone number for the proper information for the photos. And when she asks for my own cell phone number, I give it to her without much thought.

***

Prim is awake and lounging on the couch when I get home. She looks only a fraction better than she did this morning, but at least she got up and moved around a bit. We smile at each other, no need for any further greetings. I make sure I graze her forehead with the back of my hand to take her temperature before making my way into the kitchen.

I’m surprised to see my mom sitting at the small table, looking over mail, probably bills.

“I thought you were working a double today,” I say as I reach to grab a cup from the top shelf of the cupboard.

“I’m working first and third that way I can catch a nap between. I was going to just sleep at the hospital but Prim called asking to bring her stronger medicine that way she can go back to school tomorrow.”

I nod my head as I sip the water from my glass. It’s awkward being around my mom. We have nothing in common to talk about, nothing but Prim, and there is only so much we can talk about when it comes to her.

I always favored my dad. It’s probably because I’m the female duplicate of him. I got his olive skin, dark brown hair, steel colored eyes, and love for the great outdoors. Before he passed, my dad taught me how to shoot a bow and how to aim to be able to shoot squirrels and birds right through the eye and larger game straight in the heart. I never miss a target. _Never._

I walk back into the living room. Prim is sitting up, waiting for me.

“How was he? Did you ask all the questions? Did he say yes to the photo shoot? You were nice and polite right? I know you don’t mean to but sometimes you do come off a bit frigid.”

I give off a small laugh and pull Prim into my side. I wish she was still the young and tiny little girl that I still see when I look at her, but she’s already eighteen and graduating high school in a month. We’re the same size now; actually I think she’s taller.

“Mr. Mellark was very polite. He didn’t even laugh when I fell through the office doors.”

“Oh no, Katniss you didn’t!”

I nodded my head. “I’m afraid I did. I knew I shouldn’t have worn those god forsaken death traps.”

“They aren’t death traps, Katniss. You just walk like a baby gazelle in them.”

“Shut up. Anyways, I asked all of the questions and have them recorded. And since I’m the best sister in the world, I asked if he was willing to have his photo taken for the yearbook and he agreed so I gave his assistant, Meredith, both of our numbers. So expect a call from her or anyone else working for Mellark Enterprises in the next couple days.”

“You are the best. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Don’t ask me to go interview him again though, it’s slightly intimidating.”

“Really Katniss, you think anyone who makes eye contact with you is intimidating.”

***

A few days go by before Prim announces that Meredith called and set up a time to take a few head shots of Peeta Mellark. She immediately roped in her boyfriend, Rory and his brother Gale, my best friend, into helping. Gale made a side job of taking photos of landscapes and selling them in high school and throughout high school. He doesn’t do it much now, but that doesn’t stop him from carrying his camera everywhere he goes. Rory picked it up from joining the yearbook committee in an attempt to get closer to Prim.

 It’s the night before the shoot when I get a call from an unfamiliar number.

“Hello?” I answer.

“Katniss Everdeen?” the smooth female asks on the other end of the line.

“Speaking.”

“This is Meredith from Mellark Enterprises.”

“Yes, Mr. Mellark’s assistant.”

“Correct. I was just calling to tell you that Mr. Mellark requests your presence tomorrow.”

“What?” I ask dumbfounded. “Why?”

“Mr. Mellark didn’t give me a reason. I was just told to inform you to be at Hotel 1000 at noon. Thank you, have a nice night.”

She didn’t give me enough time to decline before she hung the phone up and I’m stuck listening to the dial tone.

With a look of confusion I head into Prim’s room. She’s busy picking out an outfit to wear for tomorrow’s big event that I am now a part of.

“Mr. Mellark’s assistant just called me to _inform_ me that I would be expected to show up tomorrow. Why would Mr. Mellark want me there, I’m not needed.”

Prim shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe he’d feel more comfortable having someone whose face he already knows rather than just three strangers. Or he might like you.”

“What? Where did that come from?”

“I listened to the recording. He seemed interested.” Prim laughs, “Seattle’s Most Eligible Bachelor is interested in my sister. No wonder he’s single.”

I narrow my eyes at my younger sister and she just gives me her best smile before turning her attention back to her closet. She pulls a few things out of it and throws them at me.

“Wear this.”

I look down at the pair of dark washed skinny jeans and a cream colored cable knit sweater. God, tomorrow was going to be a nightmare. 

 

 


	2. Coffee Shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter that I've read through and edited! I should probably find a beta to help me with that because if you've read any of my other works you know I don't always edit. So if you would like to beta this let me know! Also if you have any song recommendations, send them my way so I can add them to the playlist!   
> In other news, holy moly! I cannot believe how quickly I got feedback back on this story. It was mind boggling. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and subscribed or followed.  
> I'm working on the ending of ATW and a request but after that all my attention is going to be on this story. I already have five chapters written so updates should be happening regularly.   
> happy reading!

I hate the fact that I got very little sleep last night due to the fact that I was fretting over what to wear. Normally I would just chuck on a pair of jeans, a band tee shirt, and my favorite pair of broken in boots and call it a day. But because Mr. Mellark had specifically asked for me to be at the shoot, my entire body is now in a fit of panic at the lack of wardrobe choices. In the end I end up breaking down and asking Prim for something to wear because I “don’t want to look like a grungy slob at a professional establishment.” She ended up giving me a sunset orange sleeveless blouse with a lacy pattern around the neck that she said could be easily paired with jeans and her stylish pair of black hiking boots that will allow me to walk easily instead of being a fumbling mess. I hate that one request from someone I’ve only met one time and not likely to see ever again after today has my anxiety shot through the roof.

It’s also too early for my stomach to be feeling like this. The strong cup of tea I had when I first woke up didn’t do anything to help settle these nerves. Neither did Prim’s teasing nor Gale’s defensive questions about whom exactly this Mr. Mellark character is. The entire ride to the Mellark Enterprises building, a rather short one thank god, was dreadful. Gale drove with me in my beat up truck while Prim and Rory rode in Rory’s two door Jeep.

I can’t say that Gale’s questions about the man who is supposedly taken with me are all out of left field. We dated briefly before I called it quits claiming that I saw Gale more like a brother than a romantic partner. Gale didn’t feel the same way, but he puts on a front for the sake of our friendship. I don’t think either of us would be able to take not being in each other lives, we rely too heavily on each other to stop being friends.

The same red haired beauty is at the front desk when the four of us arrive. She smiles at us and reaches for the phone before I approach the front desk.

“Ms. Everdeen is here.”

The woman nods a few times as if the person on the other end can see her before she hangs up.

“Okay Ms. Everdeen, Mr. Mellark is just finishing up a business meeting, if you wouldn’t mind following me, I’ll show you were you’ll be having the photo shoot today.”

I nod and follow her to the elevator with everyone following close behind me. The elevator is a short ride, only three floors up, before we’re all following the bombshell like ducks in a row. We enter what looks to be a vacant conference room. There are floor to ceiling windows along the longest wall allowing ample natural light. We’ll still need one of our own lights, says Gale, but not all four that we brought, which is good because they’re heavy and I’m not going to volunteer myself for lugging one all the up here.

Gale and Rory have everything out of my truck and Rory’s Jeep and set up before Peeta Mellark graces us with his presence. It’s not until Prim starts on another one of tangents about everything needing to be perfect that we hear his voice. “I presume that you are Miss. Primrose Everdeen.”

“Mr. Mellark,” Prim says trying to cover the fact that he startled her. “Thank you for this honor.”

“It is my pleasure. I hope you’re well?”

“Yes, I am feeling much better. Thank you for allowing my sister to take my place.”

Peeta catches my eye and I’m frozen by his stare. “Your sister was lovely. Meeting her was a pleasure all on its own,” he says without looking away.

Gale breaks up the sudden pressure that’s built up in the room between Mr. Mellark and my stares. “Well, let’s do this. Prim you wanted to have Mr. Mellark standing right?”

Prim darts her eyes from me to the immaculate man in the crisp suit. “Right,” she replies slowly. “Mr. Mellark, if you’d face away from the windows so we can also get a view of the skyline?”

Peeta Mellark nods and takes his stance by the window. After standing in one stop with the same dazzling smirk on his face for nearly twenty minutes Prim asked if he would move to a sitting position facing the windows. She seemed to like this pose better by the feedback she was giving Gale who was continually snapping picture after picture.

I liked the way the natural light made Peeta’s already vivid blue eyes even brighter. They are so striking and captivating. I cannot pull myself to look away. It takes everything in me not to reach out and touch the Greek God that has clearly been chiseled out of the finest marble by Adonis himself after his own image.   

“Thank you so much, Mr. Mellark. I’ll be looking forward to the speech you’ll be giving at graduation,” Prim says, affectively knocking out of my day dreams of what Mr. Greek God would like without that starch white dress shirt on.

“You’re very welcome, Primrose. I will be looking forward to the article you’ll be writing about me,” Peeta shakes my sisters hand followed by Gale’s and Rory’s. “Katniss, would you mind walking with me for a moment?”

I meet Prim’s quizzical stare for a second before stuttering, “Sure.”

Peeta holds the door open just enough that I brush by him when exiting. He smells delicious. I wonder if it is body wash, cologne, a mixture of the two, or if Mr. Mellark was just blessed with a naturally alluring musk?

“Ms. Everdeen, I was wondering if you’d care to get coffee with me.”

“When?”

“Now.”

“Oh. I have to drive Gale and some of his equipment home.”

“I have a driver that can take him and his equipment wherever he needs to be.”

“Uh,” I stutter. “That isn’t necessary. I’ll just switch Rory cars. They can put all the equipment into one vehicle. Let me just go tell them.”

I find Prim and Rory in the lobby. Gale is still out by the vehicles, thank god. I tell them about the impromptu date with Mr. Billionaire and receive an excited reaction from my younger sister and a slightly concerned look from her boyfriend. Rory relented though, from just a single glare from Prim, ad handed me over his Jeep keys.

Meredith instructs me to just walk into his office once I exit the elevator, so I do. Peeta is talking to an older man, maybe mid-forties, with longer, streaky blonde hair.

“Everything in order?” Peeta stops his conversation with the man once he spots me.

I hold the keys up. “Good to go.”

“Excellent,” Peeta rises from his desk chair, nods at the greasy haired man, and then follows me out of the door.

We take the elevator together. It’s hard to breathe with Peeta standing so close to me. Close enough to reach out and touch him, maybe run my lips against the blonde stubble that is forming along his strong jaw. _What the fuck?_ I scold myself. I’ve never thought about what my lips would feel against someone else’s let alone against various parts of their face. What is Peeta Mellark doing to me?

As if he could read my mind, Peeta looks down at me and smirks.

_Oh Jesus, I’m dead._

The small café is expectantly crowded for a Saturday afternoon but we manage to find a small table with two chairs in the back corner. Peeta gets my drink order; plain hot tea, before going off to stand in line. When he returns, he is carrying a tray with my tea, whatever he got to drink and an assortment of muffins and scones.

When handed my drink I immediately go for the pale yellow Splenda packets and start emptying them into my cup, six in all.

“You like a little tea with your sugar?”

“It’s the only way to drink it,” I tell him after taking my first sip.

“Not me. I prefer my tea strong and without any added things. Same goes for my coffee,” Peeta punctuates what he says with a long gulp of his black coffee.

We start up a casual conversation, staying away from the heavy topics; religion, politics, how I so desperately want to run my fingers through his messy blonde locks as he divests me of my clothes. Or how each time he subconsciously wets his lips with that tongue of his, it sends a shockwave down the center of my body with an unknown amount of force. I have to bite my own lip to stop myself from saying something stupid like how badly I want those strong hands to be covering my body.

Instead we talk about my upcoming graduation that is happening in only a week. I told him about some of my favorite classes, one of them being my fine arts elective; theory of music. I divulge Peeta my love of all music, not just the sound of it, but the message and the back story in which the music came to life. And then we hit a heavy topic for me; family.

“Your parents must be extremely proud of you.”

“Uh,” I stutter.

“They aren’t?”

“No. She is, I suppose. My mother and I have a very strained relationship. We don’t know how to talk to each other.”

“And your father?”

“He passed away when I was eight. But I’m sure he would have been proud. He didn’t go to college but environmental sciences always fascinated him.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

I give Peeta a small smile before looking down to pick at the muffin in front of me. We spend a few beats in silence, sipping our beverages and taking bites of the breakfast foods still on the tray between Peeta and myself. It’s a comfortable silence, not one of those that begs to be filled with random facts about you or observations about the space around you. No awkward turtle is being born.

 “So Ms. Everdeen,” Peeta vanishes the stillness. “What did your boyfriend say when you told him that you agreed to have coffee, or tea, with me?”

“My boyfriend?”

“The elder photographer.”

“Oh, Gale. He’s not my boyfriend. He was briefly for one period of our lives, but I was quick to end it. I couldn’t even imagine kissing someone who I see as my brother,” I ramble on, probably revealing much more than I should have. I quickly duck my head so Peeta doesn’t see the blush rising in my cheeks.

“Don’t look down please, I like to see your eyes,” he instructs me.

“Why?” I gather the courage to look back up into his amazing blue eyes.

“I have a talent for being able to read peoples body language but with you I’m having a hard time trying to decipher what exactly you’re thinking. Except when I can see your face, you aren’t exactly the best at steeling one’s emotions.”

“Eyes are the passageway to the soul, you know,” I say lightheartedly with a bit of a grin.

“So Mr. Photographer is not your boyfriend, but more of a brother figure. That is good to know.”

“And why is that good to know?” I try my damnedest to flirt.

“Because now I don’t feel bad asking you out on a date.”

“Is this a date?”

Peeta shrugs. “It shouldn’t be, but I can’t help myself for wanting it to be.”

“Why shouldn’t it be?”

“I am not the man you want to go on a date with,” Peeta tells me without giving further explanation.

I raise my eyebrows. “And what type of guy do I want to go on dates with?”

Peeta paused for a moment, I could see him calculating what he was about to say in his head. “Someone who can give you hearts and flowers.”

“I’ve never been the type of girl to swoon over the occasional rose and drugstore teddy bear,” I retort.

“Then maybe I read you all wrong.”

The mixture of scones and muffins are all but gone, thanks to my persistent stomach, as well my tea and Peeta’s coffee. Peeta walks me back to the parking garage my hand stuck in the crook of his arm the entire way.  When we get to Rory’s Jeep to stand quiet for a moment, just simply staring at each other, not wanting to be the first to utter our goodbyes.

“This is my favorite color,” Peeta fiddles with a stretch of fabric that drapes over my collarbone.

“It’s, uh, Prim’s. My closet is filled with tee shirts and ripped up jeans.”

“I’d like to see you in tee shirts and ripped up jeans.”

My breath catches in my throat. I want him to kiss me; he’s going to kiss me. I can see it in the way his eyes flit from my slightly parted lips to my pleading eyes then back to my lips. I’ve forgotten how to breathe in this moment and likely will die but it won’t matter as long as I get to feel Peeta’s lips on mine.

“Breathe Katniss,” Peeta whispers to me, much closer than before.

Time stays suspended in the air as we breathe in each other’s air. I can smell his strong coffee mixed in with a hint of minty toothpaste.

“I am not going to kiss you.”

Stunned I ask, “Why not?”

“I am not the man you should be with,” Peeta backs away from me suddenly. “Thank you for indulging me in a wonderful afternoon.”

He turns and leaves the parking garage so quickly that I don’t have enough time to properly process what just happened. I follow Peeta’s lead and just as quickly, I leave the parking garage as well. Only for me I’m heading home to a younger sister who is full of questions and a heart that I think was just broken.


	3. Dirty Little Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter for you guys. So far this story line has stayed pretty consistent with the original but eventually I'll dip in and out of some of my own stuff and well as E.L James' plot. Hope y'all enjoy!

I graduated a week after the photo shoot with Mr. Mellark. Prim had asked so many questions the following days after the humiliating ending of my first and last _date_ with Peeta. She wanted to know why my eyes were glossy, my cheeks splotched, and my nose stuffy as if I had been crying. But everyone knows that Katniss Everdeen doesn’t cry, especially over stupid boys that make millions of dollars in just a single day, so obviously I must be coming down with the same thing that Prim had.

When I told Prim that there would not be a second date, she was devastated to say the least. She was certain that she thought Peeta harbored some sort of romantic feelings for me and me for him, judging by the way I accepted going out for coffee with him so willingly. I simply shrugged and told her that we’d never know why there wouldn’t be a second date since we’d never see him again. Then she had to go and remind me that we’d very much in fact see Peeta again; at her graduation. Peeta would be giving some speech and Prim would present him with a plaque that will be hung up in the main entrance of Capitol High School in his honor.

That wasn’t for another two weeks though, so I had ample time to get over the small bits of feelings that I had conjured up during our two and a half hour coffee and tea break. And I had plenty of things to distract me. I interviewed for an assistant position at Districts Energy that has been working on finding and producing reusable energy resources.  I start fulltime there on Monday, and I finish my last shift at Darius’ Hardware and Outdoors shop today.

 

* * *

 

 

I button up my green plaid uniform shirt for that last time and tuck it into the waist of my cut off denim shorts. It’s been surprisingly hot for the end of May in Seattle, reaching up into the low eighties. A wave of sadness washes over me once I pin my name tag on my right breast pocket. I have been working at Darius’ since I was fifteen. I used to take the bus every day after school and work a few hours in the evening helping with the paperwork back when the owner’s wife, Bristol, was pregnant with their first child. When I got my license some months later, I was hired as an official employee, stocking the shelves and later manning the cash register. Darius, Bristol, and their three kids have become my second family. And after today, I’d no longer see them on a daily basis.

The entire staff is waiting for me in the break room with cake and balloons, wishing me a great last day. I hate being the center of attention and I can feel my olive skin redden as I’m passed around the group for a chance at a hug, but everyone means well so I hold back my scowl.

“Okay everyone,” Darius claps his hands together to get our attention. “We got to get back to work.”

I’m restocking rocking climbing gloves when a customer interrupts me. “Excuse me.”

I look up and it feels like a bucket of ice water is dumped over me, flooding down my arms reaching to the very tips of my fingers, and down my spine until even my little toes and feel the prickly coldness. It’s Peeta Mellark. Beautiful, Adonis-like, with the blonde waves and sparkling eyes, Peeta Mellark.

“What are you doing here?” I sputter out.

Peeta gives me an almost amused look. “I am looking for a few things that can easily be found at a hardware store. I wasn’t aware that you work here.”

“Today is my last day. I got that job working with renewable energy. I start on Monday, actually.”

“Congratulations,” Peeta seems actually proud of my incredible job promotion.

“Thank you,” I smile shyly. “So, you needed help finding something?”

“Yes. I need a few things.”

Peeta tells me that he needs rope. Strong braided rope that some people use for mountain climbing, those he’s not doing that because I already asked. He’s also in search for heavy duty zip ties.

“Any duct tape or ski masks?” I ask as we walk to the cash register.

“What?”

“Rope strong enough to tie someone up, zip ties to bind hands. Normally people add duct tape and ski masks to their rape kits,” I say jokingly.

“I like my girls willing during sex,” he assures me.

I ring Peeta up and he hands me a black AmEx. He also hands me another card with Mellark enterprises written on it with office hours and numbers, on the back is his handwritten cell phone number.

“I’d like to do some work with your company once you get comfortable. As I said, I’m always looking for new ways for my company to go green.”

“Okay,” I say slowly. “Thank you.”

“I’ll be seeing you Ms. Everdeen.”  

 

* * *

 

 

Prim nearly runs into me as I enter the front door of our house when I return home late from my last shift at work. She’s excited to share something with me judging by the way she’s grinning and struggling to get out what she’s trying to say.

“He likes you Katniss! You were wrong about that date, he really does like you!”

“Who likes me?”

“Mr. Mellark!”

“What?”

“Come on,” she grabs my hand and pulls me through the living room and into the kitchen.

 An obscenely large bouquet of flowers sits in the middle of our small kitchen table. I recognize a few flower types, obviously the Katniss flowers as well as the Primrose flowers which my sister and I are named for, as well as a few Baby’s Breaths. There are gorgeous flowers in yellows and in oranges as well as a type of fern in a dark green. The bouquet is both beautiful and breathtaking. Beside the large vase is an envelope sitting on top of a wrapped gift.

“Open it!” Prim urges.

Tentatively I reach for the envelope first. The card inside shows a picture of a beautiful forest and all different shades of browns and luscious greens on the front. I open it and discover perfect penmanship.

_Congratulations on your graduation as well as your recent employment._

_I hope to be working with you in the future._

_I’ll be seeing you,_

_Peeta Mellark._

“Open the gift now!” Prim is practically exploding with excitement.

“Calm down, Little Duck,” I scold her as I reach for the neatly wrapped present.

As soon as the wrapping paper falls away I let out a large gasp. A beautifully carved dark wooden box with hand carved trim around the edges sits in my hands. I slowly unclasp the hook that’s keeping it closed lift the lid.

A whistling song came from inside the box. It resonates from the chest of a small Mockingjay twirling around the center of the music box singing the song my father used to sing to me so many years ago when he taught me how to navigate through the thick of the woods.

“Katniss,” Prim whispers in astonishment. “Did you tell him about Dad?” I shake my head no, my voice being too unreliable to speak. “How did he know?”

I draw in a few deep breaths and steal my tears. I close the music box and set it back on the table and step away. “It doesn’t matter, Prim. I’ll be returning it.”

She doesn’t have a chance to protest before I’m walking up the rickety stairs and closing the door to my room behind me.

 

* * *

 

 

The next week, the first week at District Energy, went by rather quickly, and rather well. Generally everyone that I’ve met so far, I like; except Johanna Mason. I’m on the fence about her. She’s loud, crass, and has zero filter. She’s easily intimidating, with her short brown hair, a lethal stare, multiple piercings, and the hint of tattoo that pokes out of the collar of her shirt and ends at the edge of her hairline.

My apprehension of her hasn’t stopped Johanna from quickly befriending me. She’s taken me under her wing or so she says, and gladly shows me the ends and the out of the company. And because I survived my first week virtually unscathed, Johanna insists that we go out and celebrate.  

I invite Gale to tag along as a human bumper, and because Johanna requested to meet my ‘tall, dark and handsome’ best friend. To my surprise, the two of them actually get along. Quickly talking each other up on something I have no clue of.

So while they talk, I continue my drinking. I’ve never been drunk before, not for lack for Gale trying, but alcohol has never been something I’ve been interested in. But the sickly sweet beverage that Johanna ordered for me is surprisingly good, and doing a fine job at making my head feel fuzzy.

I excuse myself to use the bathroom but get stuck in the long line for the women’s restroom. To occupy my time, I rummage around my purse to find my phone but end up finding the small, white business card. _Peeta Mellark._ I thumb over the cell phone number on the back and get a sick idea. Quickly I search for my phone then punch in his number.

After two rings I hear his familiar voice. “Hello?”

“Why did you send me the flowers and the music box?” I bypass pleasant greetings and get straight to the point of the phone call.

“Katniss?”

“Yeah,” I confirm. “Why did you send them?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at a bar. Now answer the question.”

“Are you drunk?” I can hear a change in his voice that makes my stomach muscles clench.

“Slightly.”

“Where are you?” He repeats.

“It doesn’t matter, _Peeta._ Answer my questions.”

“I’m coming to get you.”

“I can handle myself just fine thank you,” with that I quick end the call but just as quickly I curse myself for not getting the answer I needed.

I forget about using the bathroom and leave the line to get some fresh air. I find Gale out by a group of bushes talking on the phone, when he sees me he smiles brightly.

“Who was that?”

“Rory. He wanted to know my Netflix password so he and Prim could watch some documentary.”

I nod my head and breathe in the night air. You can still hear the thumping of the bass that comes from inside the bar, but right now it’s peaceful.

“Johanna is something,” Gale mentions.

“Yeah, she’s definitely a handful.”

 “Katniss?”

I turn to look at Gale. He’s standing closer than before. He makes his way even closer until his hands wrap around my waist.

“I’ve been patient for you to realize how good we’d be together. Am I wasting my time or is there still hope for us?”

“Gale,” I begin to protest.

“Just go with it Catnip. Feel it,” he whispers against my lips before he’s kissing me.

Oh no. I don’t want this. Not at all. I push back quickly, breaking away from all contact with Gale, but that proves to be a bad idea when my vision begins to sway and all the alcohol I’ve consumed thus far sloshes in my stomach.

“Oh God,” I moan, tripping over my own feet as I try to make my way to the flower bed.

I throw up the moment I bend over, heaving up what used to be in my stomach, drowning the beautiful flowers in my bile. I can hear a noise of disgust coming from Gale in a distance then feel my hair being pulled back and out of line of fine. I look up to see familiar blue eyes staring down at me warily. I turn back to the ground and throw up once more before my stomach finally settles.

Peeta produces a handkerchief for me to wipe my mouth.

“Thank you.”

“I thought you said you could take care of yourself.”

“Obviously I had more hope in myself than proven to be true. What are you doing?”

“I told you that I was going to come and get you.”

“I don’t need rescuing,” I scold, turning back and heading towards the entrance of that bar.

“Yes, because you were doing such a great job of warding off unwanted touches from the photographer.”

“I can handle Gale,” I bite back.

“Let me take you home.”

“Why?”

“Because you clearly are in no shape to drive.”

“Why did you send that music box? That’s not the type of gift you send someone after telling them that you don’t find them attractive enough to kiss.”

“When have I told you that you were unattractive?”

“When you refused to kiss me.”

“I didn’t kiss you because I am not the type of person you should get involved with.”

“Why don’t you let me decide who I should and shouldn’t involve myself with?”

“I’m taking you home,” Peeta sighs and runs with fingers through his hair. “Did you bring a jacket?”

I nod my head. “It’s inside.”

Peeta takes my hand and gestures me to lead the way. I take him to our spot at the bar where Gale is downing a beer and Johanna is yelling at the game on the TV. I reach for my jacket without making eye contact with either one of them.

“I’m going to head out,” I say loud enough to catch Johanna’s attention.

“What?” she looks at me then up at Peeta. “Oh, okay. You have fun,” she gives me a playful wink.

I roll my eyes as Peeta is pulling me back to the front entrance. The jostling in and out of people makes my head feel dizzy again and the familiar feeling of nausea returns as we round the bar together and step in front of Peeta’s shiny black sports car.

“Peeta,” I manage to mumble out before I’m bracing myself on the hood of his car and throwing up onto the blacktop.

“Christ,” Peeta mumbles.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out through my nose in hopes of calming down my nerves as Peeta guides me into the passenger seat of the car. I don’t even have a chance to admire the soft leather and the finely detailed stitching before the blackness consumes me and for lack of better words pass out.

 

* * *

 

 

I wake in a lusciously large bed. It definitely not my twin sized bed that I’ve had since I graduated from a crib to a big girl bed. I survey the room, taking in the white, modern furniture, dark hardwood floors, and white walls with large paintings.

One of the three doors opens up and Peeta strolls inside holding a bottle of water and a thing of pain pills.

“Morning.”

“Uh, morning,” I say warily with a voice still groggy from sleep.

I try to run my fingers through my bedhead and try to make myself look like I don’t have the biggest hangover in the world.

“Drink all of it,” Peeta orders as he passes over the water and pills.

“Thank you.”

I do what he says, not because he told me to but because I want to, and down the water in just a few gulps but that does nothing to quench my thirst.

“Do you normally drink heavily?”

“No. This was my first time really.”

“Ah. You should get dressed. I had Haymitch go out and buy you new clothes and your old ones are being washed,” Peeta motions to the bag on his dresser. “Breakfast should be ready in ten minutes.”

Peeta leaves without another word and that is when I notice my lack of dress. I’m wearing a large faded grey tee shirt, bra and underwear, but that’s it. I quickly fling Peeta’s shirt off of my body and look inside the bag to see what this Haymitch character bought me.

A black Henley along with a pair of dark wash jeans, and they are both in my size. At the bottom of the bag is a new bra and panties set that is much nicer than anything I currently own, and of course they fit perfectly.

I tentatively open up one of the other doors in hopes of finding a bathroom and get lucky; stepping into the largest bathroom I’ve ever seen before. It’s easily bigger than my room back home, maybe even twice the size. I search through the drawers looking for something to brush my hair with. I come across a simple comb and quickly run it through my ends. I spot Peeta’s toothbrush and think devilishly of using it, desperately needing to rid the taste of the rancid bile that I expelled the night before. I smirk as I dispense a dollop of mint toothpaste onto the bristles and start to scrub all of the grime and grit from my teeth. It’ll be the closest I get to actually kissing him anyways.

Peeta’s standing in the kitchen talking to an older lady with bleached blonde hair and is in some fifties up do. She’s gaudy but beautiful, just like all of the other girls in Peeta’s life that he’s employed. I wonder if he’s ever had a lawsuit against him for turning someone away due to their lack of desirable genes. The lady spots me first and mentions my arrival to Peeta who turns and gives me a wide smile.

“The clothes fit nicely. Tell _Haymitch_ thank you.”

“You can tell him yourself, he should be coming in shortly. I didn’t know what you liked to eat so I made a smorgasbord of food.”

I take a look at the breakfast bar and see a vast assortment of foods. There is bacon and sausage,  a pot of hot chocolate, pitcher of orange juice, some sort of cheese bun, cinnamon rolls, and two bowls filled with fruits and yogurt. I wonder if Peeta would think it was gross if I ate everything. Oh well, he’s already made it clear that he’s not interested. But then again, that was before he came to my rescue last night.

“It all looks so delicious.”

“Help yourself. You need food after last night.”

I take a seat in front of an empty plate at the bar and start loading it with rolls and buns and a heaping spoonful of yogurt that I mix with delicious berries. Peeta sits beside me and does the same, and like our coffee ‘date’ we find ourselves in respectable silence.

“So last night,” I begin the dreadful question that’s been in my mind since I woke up. “Did we do anything?”

Peeta chuckles, “No Katniss. I like my women willing and conscious. And you weren’t considered conscious.”

“Oh, okay. Was I sleeping in your bed?” Peeta nods. “Where did you sleep?”

“In my bed,” he says. “It was the first time I’ve had a girl in my bed and we just slept.”

“Never?”

Peeta shakes his head and I take his silence as a sign not to ask any more questions. So instead I look outside of one of the many floor to ceiling windows that outlooks Puget Sound and the rest of Seattle that rests below Peeta’s high rise.

Peeta’s home is really too big for just himself. It’s no wonder that Peeta spends so much time at work. He’s probably lonely.

Another question forms in my head as I examine the room. The question that probably got me here in the first place. “Why did you send me the flowers and the music box?”

“You didn’t like them?”

“No, I did, I do. The flowers were lovely and the music box—“ I pause for a lack of words. The music box was, is, amazing. It brought back so many memories that Peeta wasn’t even aware of. “The music box means a lot. It’s just why would you buy it for me if you’re so convinced that I need to stay away from you? You pushed me away, and I was fine with that then you go and give me something like that music box and it makes me want to convince you at maybe you are right for me.”

“I assure you, I am not the right man for you.”

“How can you be sure?”

We subconsciously drift closer to each other. I’m so close to grabbing Peeta’s face and kissing him. I have never felt like this before, it scares me. Normally, I’m the timid, private girl that sits in the back corner of the class and stays invisible as possible. But Peeta makes me feel something different; braver, like I don’t need to be in control or even want to.

“Katniss,” his voice is a mix between a groan and a moan. “I don’t do hearts and flowers, I told you that.”

“And I don’t need hearts and flowers, I told _you_ that.”

Peeta looks at me intently. I can see the gears turning in his head until suddenly he’s sliding off of the bar stool and disappearing down the hallway. He’s gone before I have a chance to wonder where he’s gone.

He hands me the papers that he retrieved from an unknown location. “Here.”

“What is it?” I flip through the documentation of some kind.

“It’s an NDA, nondisclosure agreement. You need to read and then sign it before we can continue talking.”

“Why?”

“It’s protection for myself as well as for you. If you sign you cannot talk about anything that I tell you, and if you do, I have the rights to sue for a breach in this contract.”

I want to ask Peeta if he starts all of his relationship like this. I wonder if he made his brother, sister, mother and father sign something like this. Instead I take the pen that Peeta supplied, flip to the last page and sign my name on the dotted line without reading it.

“You should have read it before you signed it,” Peeta scolded me.

“It’s not like I was going to tell anyone about us anyway. Who would I tell?”

My question is rhetorical and Peeta doesn’t answer. Instead we take part in another stare down. I bite my lip and wait for him to say something. Divulge me in the so secretive information that I had to sign a DNA agreement just to learn what it is.

Instead Peeta takes me by surprise, grabs my face and our lips collide together. I melt; literally melt into Peeta as he steps in between my parted thighs. The kiss is controlling, demanding, hot, and frantic. Like all of our short time together has just been a lighted fuse only to explode at this moment.

“I want this to work, god to I want this to work,” Peeta mutters to himself.

“So what did you have to tell me that’s so secretive I had to sign an NDA?”

“It would be easier to show you can to tell you.”

“Lead the way.”

Peeta clutches onto my hand and helps me off of the stool. He takes up the stairs instead of going to the hallway which his bedroom is located. We stop in front of the furthermost door. Peeta extracts a key from his back pocket and unlocks the door.

“I don’t do hearts and flowers,” he repeats for the umpteenth time. “If you say no, I’ll drive you home. Or Haymitch can drive you home if you prefer and that’ll be it. But I hope you say yes.”

“Just open the door.”

And he does.

Holy shit what did I get myself into?

 

 

 

 


	4. Behind The Mask

The room behind the door is bathed in a deep red. Dark red walls, a dark red duvet that is spread over a large four poster bed that sits in the middle of the room against the far right wall. The dark wood accents only adds to the rooms darkness. This room doesn’t fit the rest of the house, it doesn’t belong. I turn back to Peeta who is eyeing my warily before stepping further into the room.

Things I’ve never seen before but can only assume belong in a medieval dungeon hang on the walls or sit on top of a large chest of drawers that I’m sure house more devices that look like they dispense torture.

They are sex toys. That’s what I’ve come to the conclusion, judging by the way there are leather shackles on all four posts of the bed as well as the large ‘X’ looking wooden structure that glares at me from a corner in the room.

“Say something,” Peeta rasps out.

I circle the room once more before resting my eyes on him. He’s harder to look at now. “You’re a sadist?”  

“No. At least I don’t think of myself like that. I am more of a dominate.”

“So you bring girls into your _Red Room of Pain_ and torture them in order them to get your rocks off?”

Peeta shakes his head as he stares down at his shoes. Maybe he finds me hard to look at right now as well. “No. I don’t torture, Katniss. The women that I bring in here fully consent and want me to do the things I do to them, beg even.”

“Why?”

“They enjoy it,” he replies simply.

“And you enjoy seeing girls all trussed up without an ounce of control?”

“I enjoy the amount of trust the women bestow on me to tie them up and bring them pleasure.”

“So if you have women that are already willing to consent then why bring me here? I’m certainly not a submissive type.”

“I’m come to that conclusion on my own, though I thought that maybe you might be by the way you stumbled into my office and started calling me Sir.”

“You like it when they call you Sir?”

“Oh, I require it.”

“And if I refuse to call you it, _Peeta_?” I say his name just as a form of protesting.

“Then I’d have to punish you.”

“How?”

“Maybe pleasure you with my fingers or maybe even my tongue until you are right on the cusp of an orgasm and stop until those feelings have subsided only to do it again and again until you are begging me for a release. Or maybe I’d spank you until your bottom turned the shade of these walls, rendering it impossible for you to sit without thinking how wonderful the pain feels.”

“Oh,” is the only thing I can gasp out.

My heart is beating a million beats per second and I help but to clamp my legs together and relish in the feeling of the seam of my jeans rubbing my most sensitive areas. I bite my lip trying to think about the pain I’m causing it instead of the delicious pain Peeta might cause on my backside. 

“But to answer your previous question, Katniss,” Peeta goes on seemingly unaffected. “There are many women that could be here right now instead of you but you’ve affectively engraved yourself on the back of my eyelids and on every lobe of my brain. Ever since the first interview, I thought of how beautiful you are. Then I thought if I saw you again, maybe it would cure me. But it did not, and I ask you to coffee, which may have been a big mistake of all seeing as you were interested in me and I knew that I couldn’t give you what you want. So I said my goodbyes without looking back. Then I made another mistake by finding out where you worked and coming to see you, hoping that seeing you in cut off shorts and an ill-fitting lumberman’s shirt you make you less desirable. But I was proven wrong once again, and it made me want you even more.”

Out of all Peeta’s confessed I can only focus on one thing; he finds me beautiful.

“I’m not beautiful.”

Peeta scoffs and is visually disgusted in the idea of myself not thinking that I am beautiful. “You fell from the Heavens, Katniss, I’m sure of it.”

We fall into another one of our silences only this time it’s not as comfortable seeing as all of the toys and devices are taunting me from their spots on the walls. The whips and canes and floggers are laughing so loudly. They know that I am not the type of woman who should be walking through those doors.

But I might want to be. All my life I’ve been the supporting one. I’ve been the glue that holds my family together. It weighs heavily on my shoulders at all time, day and night. It might be nice to relinquish control. It might be nice to do what Peeta described; my body certainly seems to think so judging my how I can feel my nipples straining through the padding of my bra and the dampness in between my legs.

“So what if I agreed. What would happen next?”

I can the shock in Peeta’s eyes as I surprise him with my confession.

“Come,” he reaches out and grabs my hand. “I cannot think about the future with you while standing in here.”

Peeta pulls me back down the hall but not down the stairs. Instead we stop at another closed door. This one you don’t need a key to get in to. Peeta gestures for me to twist the knob, so I do.

“If you agree this would be your room. You would spend every weekend here as well as some days during the week, depending on what we agree upon. You can paint, redecorate, change anything you want in this room seeing as it will be yours and I want you completely at ease.”

“I wouldn’t be sleeping with you?” I ask as I peer into the room what is set in neutral tones currently.

“No. You were the only girl that has ever slept in my bed and it can’t, it won’t, happen again.”

 “Oh.” Honestly I cannot say that I am not disappointed in the idea of curling up next to Peeta’s strong body and remembering it when I wake up the next morning.

We exit this room, _my room_ , and make way to the stairs. Peeta leaves me to sit on one of the leather couches in the living room while he retrieves something from another room. He returns moments later with a stack of papers similar to the nondisclosure agreement that I just signed.

“More paperwork?” I prompt.

“Rules and limits. I don’t have normal sex, Katniss, I fuck and I fuck hard. In this game we need to have an even playing field. I need to know your soft and hard limits and you need to know mine.”

I flip through the number of pages and already the things that jump out and off the page frighten me. There are rules for everything; exercise, sleeping, _obedience_ , food. At least the food one I won’t have a problem following. Three square meals is required for me to eat and I see no problem in that other than eating can get expensive and I have more important things to spend my money on, like bills and healthcare.

There’s something about consenting to a series of medical tests to ensure that I don’t have any sort of sexual disease or otherwise. That won’t be hard to prove that I’m negative across the entire board. It talks of methods for birth control. I guess I’ll be put on the pill because I hate needles and Mr. Mellark doesn’t do condoms. That part makes me sneer. _I’m going to mess with the chemical balance of a woman’s body simply because I don’t like the feel of a condom around my dick._ Asshole.

I keep reading and familiar, repeated words glare at me.

**Bondage.**

**Master.**

**Slave.**

**Submit.**

**Safe-word.**

My brain is so worked up with new information the room starts to spin.

“Take this home. Read it and do some research. Then we can discuss what to add or subtract depending what you like and don’t like.”

“Like and don’t like?”

“You know, in the bedroom, during sex.”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

Oh shit. I look down. First at the stack of offensive papers that I cannot relate to in any way shape or form, then I turn to the walls and the beautiful paintings that are hung on them. There is a landscape painting of a meadow. It looks similar to the one that Gale and I discovered back when I was fifteen and he was two years older. Only in this picture the flowers are more vibrant, and they’re everywhere. I’d like to go wherever this meadow is.

“I’ve uh,” I begin after several minutes of staring at that beautiful painting. “I’m not experienced.”

“I figured that by the way you constantly blush when the topic arises.”

Oh, why is this so hard to say? I have nothing to be ashamed of. Rip it off like a Band-Aid.  The worst things Peeta can do are laugh in my face, and then send me packing. And really, he might be doing me a favor by doing that. “I mean that I don’t have any experience at all. I’m a virgin.”

Peeta’s pale complexion goes even paler. I could easily hold up a piece of paper and not know the difference between sheet and skin. Why didn’t I just sleep with Gale? At least then I wouldn’t be in this awkward position.

“Oh God,” Peeta sobs.

Fuck, this reaction is even worse than the laughing. I try to find the right words but nothing sounds right in my head. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” Peeta tells me. “You have nothing at all to be sorry about. I should have known. I could tell that you were pure, but my own selfish desires just didn’t care. Forgive me.”

I nod. Peeta runs his fingers through his unruly hair. At any moment now he’s going to get up, summon whoever Haymitch is from wherever he’s been hiding, and ask him to take me home. All previous desires for me would have vanished the moment I told just how inexperienced I really am.

“I want to do this right. Will you let me do this right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I still cannot stop myself from wanting you, no matter how wrong I am for you. Your first time won’t be in that room.”

“I thought you only _fucked hard_?”

Peeta sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Exceptions will be made.”

“So you plan to deflower me right now?”

“No,” he said certainly. “I’m going to do this right. I’ll wine and dine you first. Are you available tonight?”

Tonight is Saturday and normally I spend Saturdays curled up in my bed or on the couch watching reruns of Supernatural or Friends. So yes, I am available tonight. But if I say yes to tonight, I’ll be saying yes to losing my virginity, which I don’t mind losing, I’ve never been the type of girl who just had to wait until marriage or something sacred, but I never thought I’d lose my virginity to a man who means to make me no more than a play thing.

I really need to run for the hills. Stick to all of the things I know and remain an invisible wall flower until my less than boring death. But even with all the fibers and nerve endings in my body shouting no, a little twinge in my heart tells me yes.

“What time will you pick me up?”


	5. To Wine and Dine You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These might start updating more infrequently. I have a shit ton of stuff on my plate right now and I'm having a hard time trying to find the time to eat/sleep/shower much less write more chapters for this and finish some of the requests that I haven't even started on. I apologize in advance.  
> Also this is the only time I'm going to say this, I forgot to put it in the very first chapter but better late than never, I do not own The Hunger Games nor do I own Fifty Shades of Grey. I am just a person who has read both books, and thought about combining them.   
> This contains mature themes and if you are anyway sensitive to the subjects of BDSM and/or emotional trauma and other things along that line, I highly suggest you find another much happier fic to read.   
> I absolutely love reading all of your reviews, especially after a crummy day at work! (;

Prim is on the cusp of a cardiac arrest when I tell her, begrudgingly, about my night. How I went out with Johanna and Gale to celebrate my first week at work with full intentions of having one beer then calling it a night, only to get in a drunken stupor, call Peeta, and have him come be my knight and shining armor, thus leading to a date tonight.

Upon stating that my usual Saturday night plans will be interrupted, Prim set forth on picking out an outfit for me. She didn’t even bother looking in my closet for something worthwhile to wear and went straight to the back of her closet where she keeps some of her more expensive clothing. I tried telling Prim that I didn’t want to be dolled up so much that Peeta wouldn’t be able to recognize me, but I don’t think she heard me when she pulled out a short knitted grey dress with a wider neckline and long sleeves.

“That can’t even be considered a dress.”

“If it touches the tip of your fingers then it’s a dress,” Prim insists.

“I doubt that even gets to your palm.”

Prim shrugs and hands it to me anyways. I turn to the direction of the bathroom to try it on. The mixed grey color goes nicely with my skin and brings out my eyes, I guess. But it cuts off mid-thigh and I’m not too sure about that.

It doesn’t matter what I think because when Prim sees me she deems that that is in fact the dress I’ll be wearing tonight for my date. I couldn’t even protest before she’s practically pulling it off my head and shoving me into the shower, claiming I need to make sure _everything_ is shaved.

 _Everything shaved._ That was another one of Peeta’s requirements; to have my private areas shaved bare or waxed completely off. Just with the deal with the birth control, I find myself getting upset. Peeta has no right to decide how much or how little hair I have on my body.

I think about not shaving at all, keeping everything all natural just like I have been for the last twenty-two years. But instead I decide to do a little experimental landscaping, shaving enough off, but not all to show that I am defying him. Deal with it Peeta Mellark.

Prim leaves my hair alone, claiming that the natural loose waves that I have are in right now. She does make it her job to pluck a few stubborn hairs from my eye brows and run the mascara brush over my eye lashes a time or two before allowing me to put on my own natural lip color lipstick.

Then Prim riffles through my underwear drawer, much to my embarrassment, and picks out the nicest panty set I have; plain, cotton black bra with a matching black thong that I had forgotten that I owned. Back goes on the dress and finally the blue pointed flats. I look like a prettier version of myself.

“Peeta will be here any minute,” Prim says eagerly.

I don’t say anything back in fear that I’ll throw up. I’ve never been so nervous in my entire life. What if this is just some sick joke? Surely Seattle’s most eligible bachelor can’t be even remotely attracted to me in the slightest. Some would protest that the Peeta the world knows also wouldn’t have a sex play room that is under lock and key, so I guess anything is possible. Except for the fact that someone that looks like Peeta is indeed attracted to the likes of me. I guess we’ll see tonight.

My ears are on hyper alert when I hear a car pull into the driveway. I immediately kiss Prim’s cheek, thank her for her help, then rush to the door only to have Peeta beat me to the bell. I open it slowly, wishing I could have just met him at his car. I don’t want him to see my old house that has mix matched, second hand furniture after seeing his immaculate living space.

“Hi,” I say shyly.

“Hello. These are for you,” Peeta pulls another lovely bouquet of flowers from behind his back.

For how many times he’s told me that he’s not a hearts and flowers type of guy, this is the second time I’ve received flowers from it.

“They’re beautiful. I’ll be right back.”

I rush to the kitchen, flowers in hand, to put them in a vase with water. When I return to the living room Peeta and Prim have started up a conversation about her impending graduation.

“Ready to go?” I ask him.

“Sure am,” Peeta grins. “It was nice see you Primrose.”

“You two have fun!” she calls after the pair of us as Peeta allows me to exit the house first.

I’m not sure if this is the same car Peeta used during the rescue mission. It was the same pitch black color but after that my mind is a little fuzzy. It wouldn’t surprise me if it was a different car. I’d expect nothing less than a man with more money than God in his thirties to own an array of vehicles.

The interior matches the same black color as the paint job on the exterior only all of the stitching is done in a bright orange color. It must be custom made.

“This is my favorite car,” Peeta said as he noticed my interest. “I’ve always loved Aston Martin’s but I really fell in love with the Vanquish. I don’t care how dumb I sound when I call her my baby. The other cars get jealous,” Peeta grins as he throws the gear into reverse and backs out of my driveway in one smooth movement.

I don’t even know what kind of other kind of cars Peeta has, but I’ve already decided that this is my favorite car of his too. Maybe someday Peeta will let me drive _his baby._

I don’t know what to expect with my date with Peeta tonight. Maybe he’ll throw his money around at some swanky five star restaurant that costs my entire year salary just to breathe its air. Or perhaps take me on some romantic walk on the beach. Whatever it is I’m expecting it to be cheesy and cost the price of a first born child.

What I don’t expect is for Peeta to pull up in front of a practically rundown brick building in a primarily residential neighborhood.

“Have you ever been here?”

“What’s here?”

“Central Cinema,” Peeta explains. “They don’t play current movies, but older ones. My parents and siblings used to go every Saturday until it became socially unacceptable to be seen with your parents outside of your house.”

“What’s playing tonight?”

“A favorite of mine; Jurassic Park,” Peeta’s ear to ear grin sends him back ten years in age to twenty-three. With the look he’s sporting now it’s hard to spot the dominate, business man façade that he always wears.

“One of my favorites too,” I smile fondly at a memory. “Prim would always watch it but come nighttime, she’d knock on my bedroom door with tear stains on her cheek, blubbering about the dinosaurs under her bed. It would take a crowbar and lots of lubricant to peel her from my side come morning time.”

 “You must really love her.”

“She’s my favorite person in the world.”

“And here I was hoping that I’d be your favorite person in the world.”

“Buy me some popcorn and for tonight you can be.”

“Oh no Katniss, they have full dinners here, I’m buying you way more than just popcorn.”

The theater isn’t packed much to my surprise seeing that it’s a Saturday night, but Peeta explained that this isn’t the first time Jurassic Park has been on this month, so the crowd is much more subdued. I’m totally fine with that if it means that Peeta and I get our own sofa to ourselves, which it does.

Peeta orders a beer so that’s what I do, taking a stab at some local brew that I’ve never heard before, but deeming that tonight is a night of first for Peeta and myself, I decided what the hell. Peeta suggests that we share our food when I can’t decide between the short ribs and the John Candy pizza. I can’t help but make the comparison between him and Gale. Gale would never share food with me, no matter how sweetly I asked.

The movie started and our food came. My beer is long gone and so is its refill and a nice buzzed sensation washes over me so I switch to sparkling water, which again I’ve never had, by the middle of the movie. I slip my flats off and curl up on the couch and into Peeta. He doesn’t mind, in fact I’m pretty sure Peeta scoots even closer to me as he moves an arm around my back to rest on my hip.

If someone were to look at us, they would have thought that we’ve been on thousand dates instead of this being our first, and regrettably our last. I try not to think of that part. Maybe I can work a date night into our contract. Maybe I’ll tell him that he can spank me if he brings me back here once a month. Really that’s not a lot to ask for.

I must have dozed off because Peeta is gently shaking my shoulder telling me that the movie is over.

“Sorry,” I yawn.

Peeta shakes his head. “No worries. Come on, let’s go.”

Peeta snakes his hand with mine and gives it a gentle squeeze, alighting all of my nerve endings that had just been asleep seconds ago.

Once we secured in Peeta’s car, the air seems to grow thick around us. We both know what’s next and it’s like we’re nervous high school students, both of us not wanting to bring _it_ up.

“I can take you home if you want or you can stay the night with me, we wouldn’t do anything if you weren’t ready. I want you to be ready and comfortable.”

“I am not going to lie and say I’m not nervous, but I’m ready. I want to go to your place Peeta.”

A weight has lifted off of him as soon as I say it. “Oh thank you. All I’ve thought about since picking you up is getting at dress off you.”

“This is Prim’s dress,” I don’t know why I say it.

“Well, I hope Prim isn’t too attached to it because I insist that you make it a part of your daily wardrobe.”

Peeta’s hand comes to rest on my bare thigh. An incredible heat floods through my body. So this is what being sexually attracted to someone feels like? The feeling of needing a fire extinguisher by your person at all times in the very case that you catch on fire. Peeta will make me catch on fire, I know it, and then I’ll be known forever as the Girl on Fire.

Peeta parks in one of the many parking spaces that are just for him and cuts the car engine quickly. In one swift movement he’s undone his seat belt, unclipped mine, and has my face in his hands making quick work of kissing me.

I can’t help but to moan into Peeta’s mouth as his tongue massages mine, but the animalistic sound seems to please Peeta. I don’t know where to put my hands but I remember those awful, dirty thoughts about running my fingers through his beautiful hair, so I do.

“Any more of this and I’ll take you right here in the car,” Peeta says as soon as he pulls away from me. “Come on.”

Peeta gets out of the work and rounds the car to open the door for me, holding onto my waist as we get to the elevator. Punching in the code for the penthouse floor, the elevator makes it’s ascend. With the elevator, the ache in my body climbs higher and higher until I swear, just one look from Peeta and I’ll bust at the seams.

 


	6. We're on Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm updating early cause sex, also because I'm afraid I won't get the time to update it next week. I hope y'all like it.   
> love love love the reviews, they keep me going.  
> come talk to me on tumblr (itsmorrgan) you'll get to read previews of the newest chapters even before they're posted!

I’m not sure how we got from the elevator and into Peeta’s bedroom, but somehow we’re standing in front of the massive bed that I woke up in just this morning. It’s amazing that my drunken phone call to Peeta happened only last night; not even a full twenty-four hours ago.

“You can change your mind Katniss,” Peeta says as if he really doesn’t want to do this.

“I’m not changing my mind. Are you?” I ask quietly.

“God no,” Peeta tilts his pelvis into my just to emphasize how he isn’t going to be changing his mind. “I’m actually having a hard time not tying you to the bed right now.”

“You can if you want.” Why am I even suggesting this?

“No. Tonight is about hearts and flowers and first dates. There won’t be whips and chains on this first date.”

“Does that mean there will be a second?”

Peeta looks down at my curiously.  “We’ll see. Enough talking.”

Peeta’s lips silence me, working me into a frenzy as he uses his expert tongue to lure mine out of my mouth. I start to slip my hands down his shoulders but Peeta halts, taking his hands off my hips, grabbing my own and pinning them behind my back. You can take the Dom out of the Red Room of Pain but you can’t take the Red Room of Pain out of the Dom. It doesn’t matter anyways, much. Though I’d like to run my fingers over those solid abs hidden underneath Peeta’s button down shirt, not having use of my hands ensures that I have less to fuck up.

Peeta backs away from me suddenly. “You’re wearing too much clothing.”

His fingertips graze along the hem of my—Prim’s—dress, slowly going higher and higher until the knit material is over my hips, and then my ribs, ghosting over my breasts before I am lifting my arms up automatically to allow Peeta to pull the interfering garment from body.

“Fuck,” Peeta mutters to himself. “You’re going to be the death of me, I can already tell.”

More kissing, more innocent touches from Peeta’s fingers as mine stay dormant at my sides like instructed, more passion, and more realness now that I’m standing in just my underclothing and blue flats. Peeta pushes me onto the bed, gently. He stands before me and drinks me in. I refuse to show my self-consciousness at such an intimate moment. If I can skin a squirrel, I can have a man look at me without getting squeamish.

Peeta lifts my left leg and divests my shoe from my foot before doing it to the right one. I wriggle my body as his places soft kisses up both of my legs.

“You need to stay still, Katniss.”

Oh god, that’ll be impossible. But I try my hardest, biting my lip and trying to concentrate on anything other than the building pressure that continues to reach new heights. Oh god, Peeta’s lips feel amazing dancing over my skin.

“You have the most beautiful skin, the most beautiful body. Let’s see what your breasts look like,” in one quick movement, Peeta’s hand is snaking around my back, unhooking my bra and pushing the straps down my arms seductively. “I was right, the most beautiful breasts as well.”

Peeta’s words have poisoned my brain, turning it to mush. We make eye contact briefly. Just enough to see that Peeta’s normally soft blue eyes have been replaced with the color of a storm; a storm of lust.

Peeta dips his head down and brushes his nose against the tip of my nipple before latching onto it with a suck. I gasp out loud and my back bows off of the bed. Peeta’s lips forms a smirk against my flamed skin and does it again, rolling the other nipple with his thumb and fore finger until it’s at a stiff peak.

I’m making noises that I didn’t know I could make; mewling, whining, and moaning. I rake my fingers through Peeta’s hair, no longer able to control myself. Peeta doesn’t seem to mind and I deem this to be a safe zone for touching.

“You’re so responsive. I’m sure I could make you come just like this. Would you like that?” Peeta chuckles before switching to attack my other breast.

“Please Peeta,” I plea. I’m so desperate for this release.

Peeta looks down at me. “I like when you beg. Not normally my style, but then again this is not my normal style either.”

It’s me that initiates the kiss this time. I twine our lips and tongues together, pulling him by his hair until we’re practically fused as one. It’s this time that Peeta moans. He reluctantly pulls away and slithers down my body.

“Let’s see if you’re ready for me.”

I have no idea what Peeta means but he pulls my panties off of my hips and past my feet until they are with the rest of the clothes piled on the floor. I close my eyes tightly as Peeta pulls my legs apart and slides in between them.

He gasps and I immediately open my eyes to see what’s wrong. “What’s wrong?” I ask in a panic.

“Nothing is wrong, Katniss, just the opposite. Head to toe perfection, better than my dreams.”

I blush. “I’m not perfect. I didn’t do anything on your list of requirements.”

“We’ll have to rework the requirements because I want you look exactly like this,” Peeta punctuates this statement with a kiss to my most sensitive area.

My hold on his hair only greatens. With the rate Peeta’s tongue is working over my clit, he’ll be bald in seconds. I feel a finger enter me, very slowly, working in a circle to stretch me out a bit. Then another one is added and it’s like a button is pushed and all the pressure that’s built up is all of the sudden being launched like a rocket, sending me to the moon.

I would have sold my soul to Peeta in the moments where Peeta continues to lap at me to prolong my orgasm. I’d do anything to feel like this every day. To fall apart from Peeta’s mouth, or his hands, his _cock_ , over and over again. Yes, I’ll sign the damned contract and anything else that requires me signature just to feel like that again.

I don’t even feel or notice Peeta peeling off his shirt and his pants, reaching over to the nightstand to retrieve a condom and putting it on before positioning himself over me with his stiff erection resting at my entrance. Peeta places one kiss on my lips before speaking, “Something tells me that was your first orgasm.”

I nod my head as I feel Peeta slowly beginning to enter me. “It was.”

“It belongs to me. You’re mine, Katniss. Just say yes.”

I gasp. “Yes.” Peeta’s entered me fully now. It didn’t hurt as much as I was expecting it to, but the stretching is uncomfortable. I wiggle beneath Peeta to try and adjust myself and Peeta lets out an animalistic groan.

“You’re going to unman me if you keep moving like that,” Peeta jokes then with a much sterner tone says, “stay still.”

I stay absolutely still, or at least I try to as Peeta begins to rhythmically pumping in and out of me. The feeling is so deliciously sweet, the uncomfortable stretching feeling is all but gone and my body starts to accept the Peeta’s intrusion.  I can’t believe it but eventually I’m shouting things like harder or faster or more. Yes to all three of those things.

That special feeling is starting to make an appearance again. I want it to last longer this time but I can’t stop it as it starts to bubble over unexpectedly, causing my body to once again soar to new height. It’s only moments before I can faintly hear Peeta enjoying this high for himself.

I close my eyes and breathe Peeta in; sweat, sex, something manly, yet with traces of sugar and maybe dill. I breathe in deeper to get more of the intoxicating scent while Peeta turns me onto my side and spoons me from behind. I don’t get the chance I ask if I should go into the other bedroom before I’m fast asleep.

 

I wake up expecting to see my bland walls of my even blander walls but I’m happily greeted by the wonderful artworks adorning the walls of Peeta’s bedroom. Peeta; he’s not in bed next to me and the sheets are no longer warm from his body heat. The clock reads almost three in the morning but that doesn’t stop me from slipping out of bed quietly and wrapping the sheet around my body because my clothing has seemingly gone missing to go and search for him.

I stop at the two other doors in this hallway to see if any life is on the other side but all I hear is quiet before I make my way into the living room. I don’t see Peeta immediately; he’s tucked away in the corner facing an easel, deep in thought since he didn’t hear me walking down the hallway loudly to make my presence known.

I stand off to the side of Peeta, not wanting him to break concentration, just wanting to observe him in such a relaxed state. I never noticed how tense he always seemed. Even during sex there was rigidity present. As the paint leaves the paintbrush and sweeps down the canvas in a fluid motion I see a familiarity. The beautiful paintings that are hung along the walls all belong to Peeta. Even the astonishing meadow field one is a work of Peeta. I immediately want to ask him about where he got his inspiration from but I’m once again distracted by what he’s painting.

It’s me that is coming to life via paints and strokes. The colors of the rainbow meddled with hues of grays and blacks and browns until my face is formed and my eyes are staring directly at me, so lifelike that it’s uncanny.

I decide to make my presence known before I get caught spying. I make my footsteps much louder causing Peeta to whip around to face me.

“It’s beautiful, _I’m_ beautiful. Is this how you see me?”

“Yes.” Peeta pulls me onto his grasp, spinning me around so my back is placed against his bare his chest, securing my hands in his in a crisscross motion across my torso.

“You need glasses because this is not how I look.”

“Maybe it’s you that need glasses because I assure you my vision is perfect.”

I’m glad Peeta can’t see my blush.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I woke up to an empty bed,” I offer as an explanation. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I don’t sleep well. I’m not used to sharing a bed with anyone else.”

“Oh,” I respond. “I can sleep somewhere else, if you’d like that?”

I can feel Peeta shaking his head no. “Your date isn’t over until the sun comes up. You’ve got a couple more hours of hearts and flowers.”

“Then why waste it sleeping?”

I feel a devilish grin on my bare shoulder right before Peeta sinks his teeth into my flesh a little harder than I would expect but not hard enough to break through the skin. What surprises me the most is instead of letting out something along the lines that would tell Peeta that he’s hurting me, I moan. It’s a small, breathy and barely audible moan but it escapes my mouth nonetheless. With that singular sound I can feel Peeta hardening against my bottom.

Peeta stands up suddenly and spins me around, pinning me against the window. The sheet that was doing a poor job covering my nude form underneath slips off of my body into a forgotten pile on the floor at our feet and Peeta hastily kicks it aside.

With Peeta securing my hands above my head with one of his large hands, his other is free to grope at my breasts and tweak my nipples into stiff, painful peaks. His lips and tongue and teeth attack my sweet spot on my neck until he has me trying to grind my naked pelvis against his clothed one. I groan with need. Peeta isn’t allowing me any sort of friction to cool the building fire between my legs.

“Patience Katniss,” Peeta hushes me.

I let another groan, and try to bring us together, not to find release but this time to defy him. I should turn away now; tell him that I’m not the obedient girl he’d want me to be. But I’m under Peeta’s spell and if he has me wait any longer, I’m sure I’d do anything that he asked of me, with a smile on my face.

Finally, Peeta’s hand finds its way between my wet folds and delicately traces over that bundle of nerves that makes my eye flutter shut and my back arch every time he passes by it.

“Fuck Katniss, you’re sopping wet.”

Normal Katniss would be appalled at Peeta’s statement but the current Katniss that is residing in my body now is rejoicing at the praise she’s receiving.

I feel one long, thick finger enter me, then two. Working me in and out and in a circle to open me up for him. My hips have a mind of their own as they sway back and forth to try to gain some satisfaction from this sweet torture. I only want one thing right now and it’s hidden in Peeta’s pants.

“Peeta,” I gasp as he flicks his fingers against a sweet spot inside me. “I need you please.”

“Shh, baby. Just feel it.”

I feel it. Oh, I feel it so good. The way the delicious pressure builds up inside me to the point where I can feel it behind my eyes. The slow torture of Peeta’s pointer and middle finger working me up into a frenzy. This isn’t how he was like last night. After the initial taking, Peeta was fast. It’s like he’s trying to prove just how gentle, or hearts and flowers, he can be. But I don’t want gentle and I can definitely do without hearts and flowers.

I start to voice my protests when like a tsunami, my orgasm crashes over me. Completely unexpected but wonderful. I shout as Peeta works my clit fast now, prolonging this dizzying feeling. I’ve engulfed the entire world in fire and I have no shame in it.

I open my eyes just in time to see Peeta popping his two wet fingers into his mouth.

“So delicious,” he hums. “Let’s go back to bed for round two.”

We don’t get much sleep after that.


	7. Head Over Heels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on my break at work so I thought I'd post this since FSOG came out in the theaters today. Probably not going to go to see it since I didn't think the casting choice was all that great plus I didn't like the books. I know, crazy that I didn't like the books since I'm writing Everlark fanfiction about it. It's just that I wasn't a fan of Christian's character being so so cold and distant. I try to make Peeta a little more caring and affectionate because there is way more to BDSM than just the whips and chains.  
> I've never been in a BDSM relationship before nor do I have plans of doing it in the future. I have however done a lot of research on the subject so I don't write something wrong and offend anybody that is. In the next few chapters, you'll see more of that relationship between Peeta and Katniss unfold.  
> If anyone doesn't like the way that I'm writing some of these scenes and you feel that I'm going about it in the wrong way, do not hesitate to PM me. I really don't want to paint BDSM relationships in a bad light.  
> Thank you for all of those who have read and reviewed so far, I love you.  
> Follow me on Tumblr @ itsmorrgan

The next time I wake up it’s to unfamiliar voices and there’s a heavy weight over my midsection. I slowly open my eyes and allow myself to adjust to the harsh sun coming through the window. The voices are getting louder but not loud enough that I can make out what is exactly being said.

“Peeta,” I whisper urgently, removing his arm that I secured tightly against my waist.

“Hm?” he barely answers.

“Wake up.”

“No,” he grumbles, pulling me back into him. I can feel the beginning of an erection pressing against my backside. He laughs, “Part of me seems to be awake.”

“Now isn’t the time,” I press.

“Oh, Ms. Everdeen now is exactly the time.”

Just as Peeta rolls on top of me the bedroom door opens. I let out a loud mix between a shriek and a yell as I try my best to cover myself with the only sheet that’s still left on the bed. Two men stand in the doorway; a handsome man with a brilliant bronze coif and the man with blonde stringy hair that I recognize from Peeta’s office.

“And that’s how you wake up, Little Brother!” The bronze one claps his hands together and gives us an award winning smiles.

“I told you that the Boy wasn’t available,” the older one said gruffly.

“Yeah but Haymitch you didn’t telling that he was in here boning a hottie. Hi, I’m Finnick. I’m Peeta’s better looking older brother,” he introduces himself to me.

“I don’t think so,” I retort and I’m rewarded by a look of shock on Finnick’s face.

“She’s a keeper, Peet.”

Peeta smirks. “Why are you here?”

“We were supposed to get brunch today but you stood me up so I came by to see why. I don’t take offense now that I know why.”

“I’m glad that I haven’t offended you. Now can you both please leave my room so we can get dressed?”

Finnick gives us another large smile before closing the door behind him and Haymitch. I’m mortified. I look to Peeta, who has climbed out of bed and is now walking to his dresser buck naked. I watch as he dresses nonchalantly. How can Peeta act like what just happened isn’t a big deal? Two people walked in on us about to have sex!

“You getting out of bed or do I have to carry you out to properly meet my brother?” Peeta snickers.

I immediately get up, constantly encouraging myself to be not the least bit self-conscious like Peeta is while I find my clothes. Once I’m dressed I finger comb through my knotted hair making Peeta laugh and shake his head. Why does he think this is so funny?

“Do all your sex slaves meet your family?” I ask before Peeta opens his bedroom door.

Peeta did not think that was funny. His smile all but vanishes from his face as he looks seriously at me. “You aren’t a slave, Katniss. You are my partner in a BDSM relationship. At least I hope you will be.”

“I thought after tonight, my answer would be obvious.”

Peeta shakes his head. “You haven’t had time to research any of this yet. I want you to know what you’re getting yourself into. Remember, you have to learn to walk before you can run.”

“I’ve been running all of my life,” I mutter to myself.

Peeta hears me and kisses the top of my head in response. “None of the other girls have met my family. I’m all too sure that my family thinks I play for the other team.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t like mixing work with pleasure with family,” he answers simply.

“So why am I going out there to properly meet your brother?”

Peeta shrugs. “I guess this is another first for me.”

“I thought the night of firsts was over the moment the sun came up?”

“Oh Katniss, I have a feeling that we’ll be having many firsts together.”

I tug the skirt of my dress down as Peeta and I descend down the hall together. Finnick and Haymitch are conversing on the couch. Well Finnick is on the couch, sprawled out with his feet on the coffee table, and Haymitch is standing off to the side with his hands folded in front of him.

“So I called Mom,” Finnick starts the moment we enter the living room. “She insists that you bring the lovely Katniss to dinner tonight so everyone can see for themselves.”

Peeta puts his lips against my ear and mutters “See I told you everyone thought I was gay.”

“If Katniss is up for a night of torture, I have no objections,” Peeta then says to everyone.

“I can’t,” I tell him. “I promised Prim that she could read her speech to me tonight and I have a big day at work tomorrow and need to be home early.”

“Well then, we’ll just have to schedule it for another time.” Finnick jumps off of the couch and starts heading for the foyer where the elevator is. “Peet, Annie requests some of your cheese buns with tonight’s dinner. You know how hormonal she is at the moment so bring enough that we can take home, will you? I’ve come quite attached to my balls and would love for them to remain on my person. Later lovers.” Before the elevator doors close on Finnick her blows us a kiss and flashes another one of his dazzling smiles.

We remain silence for a moment after Finnick leaves, none of know exactly what to say. At least I don’t, and I don’t think Haymitch is one for conversation.

Peeta sighs and makes his way into the kitchen. “Hungry?”

I shake my head no; surprisingly I don’t have much of an appetite at the moment. I feel weird standing in the middle of the living room while Peeta rifles through the cupboard for something to eat, so I set out and search for my phone. It’s in my purse that’s sitting on one of the tables by the entrance.

I have a few texts, two are from Prim but three texts and a missed call are from Gale. I groan. I don’t want to talk to him now. I haven’t talked to him since Friday, where he tried and failed to stick his tongue down my throat.

**_Gale Hawthorne: I’m so sorry Katnip. I was drunk and wasn’t thinking clearly._ **

**_Gale Hawthorne: Answer my call Katniss. I’m trying to apologize for my massive fuck up._ **

**_Gale Hawthorne: Prim told me you were with Mr. Moneybags. Call me when you’re done._ **

**_Prim Everdeen: How was the date? I’m guessing it was good cause you didn’t sleep in your own bed last night. (;_ **

**_Prim Everdeen: Gale called me. He seems pissed. What else is new? Lol._ **

I don’t text Gale back. I’m still mad at him and he could use the silent treatment for the next couple days. I do text Prim back though.

**_Katniss Everdeen: Date went well. I’ll be home soon._ **

**_Prim Everdeen: Did you do the dirty? (; (; (;_ **

I cringe. No I do not want my little sister to know that I did indeed ‘do the dirty’ last night, multiple times. I don’t answer back and let my silence answer the question instead. God, shoot me now.

I do need to be home soon. It’s nearly eleven and I hadn’t given much thought about what would happen after last night. I was so focused on getting through the date that I’m treading in uncharted waters. What’s next?

“Peeta?” I call out. He’s disappeared from my view.

“In here,” he calls out.

I follow his voice to the other side of the dining room. I saw Haymitch head off in this direction, maybe they’re together.

I was right. Peeta and Haymitch are in what appears to be Haymitch’s office. One wall is filled with TV monitors that show pictures of various parts of Peeta’s home in the clouds. There is the upstairs hallway that leads to ‘my room’ and the playroom, the hallway that leads to Peeta’s room, a view of the living room, kitchen, and dining room. I can see the foyer with the elevator in view as well as the parking garage many stories below us.

“What’s all of this?” I ask.

“When you’re the richest person in all of West Coast, it’s a good idea to make sure you have good security, Sweetheart,” Haymitch tells me.

I frown at his nickname for me. _Sweetheart._ I wonder if every other girl has been called sweetheart by him too.

“Has anyone ever tried to break in before?”

“No,” Peeta answers. “But it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“That’s smart.”

Peeta nods. “Katniss, this is Haymitch Abernathy by the way. He’s my bodyguard of sorts. Haymitch this is Katniss Everdeen.”

“Hello,” I say softly.

Haymitch smirks but doesn’t say anything. I don’t like him, I can already tell. He’s not sweet and warm like Peeta is. _Ha._ Peeta isn’t sweet nor is he warm, he’s told me this many times. I personally think that he’s too hard on himself. Just from last night he could be all hearts and flowers if he wanted to be.

“I need to be home soon.”

Peeta nods. “Yeah, let’s eat something first. I can’t take you home without being a proper gentleman and feeding you first. Come on.”

I sit at the breakfast bar and watch Peeta while he whips up two simple omelets with mushrooms and bell peppers. The frying pan and spatula are likes extensions of his arms just by how easily he’s flipping the fluffy bed of eggs with the flick of his wrists. I remember that his Dad was or is a chef of some kind and must have taught Peeta the trade.

“So,” I start out. “What kind of research should I be doing?”

“Just type something into Google and dive head first. Familiarize yourself with the world of BDSM. It may seem scary but it’s all about trust, Katniss. We have to trust each other for this to work.  That and communicate, there is nothing more important. You’ll learn it all during training, of course.”

 _Of course._ “I’m going to have to keep reminding myself to clear the history. I’d hate for Prim to stumble upon whips and chains and gags.”

“You two share a computer?”

“Yeah, normally I’d just go to the library if I needed to do research. But obviously I can’t do that here.”

Peeta smiles and with one last flick of his wrist, the omelet is on one of the plates. “No, we can’t have that.”

Peeta comes to sit beside me at the breakfast bar once his omelet is done and we eat in silence together. It’s a simple omelet and I’m sure that anybody with average intelligence in cooking skills could make one, but this is the best omelet I’ve ever eaten. I’m sure that I’ll gain a few pounds during these next few months, despite the vigorous exercise that Peeta is going to put me through.

Peeta tells me not to worry about the dishes, Effie will get them, but that doesn’t stop me from washing my plate and fork as well as Peeta’s and placing them on the drying rake. Effie and put them away.

 

“I made an appointment with a gynecologist for Thursday. I would have liked one for tomorrow but Thursday was the earliest they had an opening, and that’s only because of a cancelation. I’d suggest the shot, it’s the easiest form,” Peeta announces while driving me back home.

I hold back a scoff; look at Peeta briefly before turning my attention out the window. I’m not sure if it’s my arms folded over my chest or my lack of a response that gets him to look over at me.

“What?” he asks dumbly.

“Why would you make me a doctor’s appointment for birth control?”

“Because it’s in the contract.”

“Why do I have to put things into my body when _you_ can just wear a condom?” I ask rudely.

“With all of the sexual endeavors we’ll be taking part in in various places and positions, we won’t have time for condoms,” Peeta explains to me as if I’m a child. I kind of am compared to him.

I see his point but I still don’t like it. “It’s still my body,” I mutter harshly.

“Sign the contract and it’ll be my body too.”

I look over at Peeta in time to see him grinning. I’m not sure if I want to punch or kiss that smug look straight off of his face.

 

 When Peeta stops in front of my house, he looks at me warily.

“What?” I ask him nervously.

“I just have a feeling that this will be the last time I see you.”

“You’ll see me again, even if it’s at a distance during Prim’s graduation.”

“I don’t think I could keep myself at a distance.”

“I wouldn’t want you to anyways, despite you going behind my back and scheduling doctor’s appointments for me.”

I lean in to kiss Peeta but he moves and kisses my cheek instead. Oh right, the sun is up now. Hearts and flowers is over with.

“Call or text me if you have any problems with the research. Remember trust and communication is key.”

I nod and exit the car and start to make my way up the sidewalk to my front door but Peeta calls my name before I can get far. I turn back around to see if I had left anything behind. “Later lover,” Peeta winks and blows me a kiss obviously mocking what his brother did earlier. Peeta does it better, of course.

I roll my eyes and stifle a laugh behind my hand and continue my walk to my front door. I open it then turn back and wave my final goodbye to Peeta. I can’t imagine this being the last time seeing him. It can’t be. No matter what I learn now, it won’t matter. I’ve already experienced how Peeta can make me feel, what he can make me do with just his fingers.

Prim is flopped on the couch, one leg over the arm and the other is over the back, her head with her blonde hair is drooped off of the cushion as she flips through the channels of our basic cable.

“You’re home!” She bolts home immediately.

I smile slightly at her but don’t say anything. I need to get out of these clothes and shower off the remnants Peeta that still linger on my body. I trudge up the stairs and into the bathroom, flinging off my clothes and tossing them into the hamper. I turn on the water and allow it to heat up before pulling up the shower diverter and stepping in.

Just in time too. Prim come barreling into the bathroom just as I begin to wet my hair. I guess that’s what I get for not locking the door.

“So?” Is all she says.

“So what?” Like I’m supposed to know what she means by that.

“So, tell me everything. Where did Peeta take you? How is he in bed?”

“Primrose!” I scold.

“What?”

“You know what!”

“Oh come on Kat. I’m eighteen. I think I know what not coming home means. I also think we’re both mature enough to talk about it together. The only reason I don’t talk about my sex life with you is because yours has been pretty nonexistent until now.”

“Primrose Everdeen, you do not have a sex life. I know how to work deadly weapons but I do not need one to cause bodily harm on Rory.”

I can almost hear the eye roll. “Anyways, where did Peeta take you?”

“To the movies,” I answer.

“That’s it? Anybody can take anyone to the movies. I thought for sure that Peeta would have gotten a private jet to take you Paris or something.”

“That’s not even plausible.”

“Who cares? When you’ve got more money than Mr. Monopoly, time is irrelevant.”

I laugh. “We went to this theatre that shows older movies and you can order dinner. He used to go there a lot with his family as a kid. We saw Jurassic Park, it was way better than time hopping to Paris.”

“Why didn’t you lead with that? Katniss, that it the best date ever. He took you some place that holds sentimental value, Jesus. He must really, really, really like you. Have you made plans to see each other again?”

“We’ll see each other at your graduation. That’s all I know for now.”

“You should ask him to dinner with us. Mom got the night off.”

 _Mom didn’t take the night off when I graduate, either time._ I don’t say that out loud of course. Prim and I both already know that Prim is the favorite between the two of us.

“Maybe. Now get out so I can finish my shower in peace.”

Prim leaves and it’s not long after that I’m turning off the water and flinging back the shower curtain with an old towel wrapped around my torso to try and stay warm. I dash into my small room across the hall and close the door. I rifle through my drawers to find something comfortable to wear. Maybe the all of the adrenaline that I’ve had coursing through my veins is finally wearing out, and that’s why I can feel all of the pain from last night’s activities. The pain was – is – worth it though. I’d take twice as much pain just to feel a fraction of what Peeta made me feel last time. I’ve never been one to dabble in drugs illegally but if I were, I’m sure Peeta would beat out anything that I could find out of the streets.

“Katniss!” Prim breaks me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah?” I shout back.

“You’ve got to sign for a package.”

I furrow my eyebrows. I’m not expecting any sort of package. I pull a clean shirt over my head and for downstairs. At the door there is a man in a uniform that isn’t worn by any mail delivery service that I know.

“Are you Katniss Everdeen?” he asks.

I nod my head as I inspect his name tag. _Marc, Nuts and Volts._

“I have been instructed to deliver this laptop to you. If you’d like I was also instructed to walk you through how to use everything since this model hasn’t hit shelves yet.”

“And who instructed you to do all of this?”

Marc looks down at his clipboard for a moment. “Peeta Mellark, Ma’am.”

“Of course,” I mutter to myself.

Marc hands me the laptop that’s till packaged in its brown cardboard box. “Would you like me to show you how everything works?”

“No thank you, I’m sure I can figure it out.”

Marc nods. “Certainly. If you’d just sign here.”

I sign Marc’s clipboard and just before I get ready to shut the door, he hands me a small enclosed card and bids me a good day.

Prim is practically dying for me to open up the laptop so I do that before reading the card. The laptop is for the most part already set up. Google Chrome is already downloaded, as well as iTunes. All that needs to be done is connect it to WIFI, which we steal from our neighbors.

I open up the card hoping to find an explanation but I don’t.

_A gift for your research._

_Remember to call or text me with anything._

_I mean it._

_PM_

I roll my eyes. If Peeta thinks that I’m really going to keep this ridiculous _gift_ then he has another thing coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you read my little blurb at that top!! (:


	8. Heels Over Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so insanely sorry that you've all had to wait longer than normal for this chapter to come out. I am so busy right now that it's hard to find time to even shower. I have a few moments before I have to go work for yet another 12 hour shift and thought that I'd post this quickly.   
> The dynamic between Peeta and Katniss is going to differ greatly from Anna and Christian because I don't want Peeta to be a total dick and I'd like Katniss to have more of a voice. Despite Peeta being the 'dom' in this relationship, hopefully you'll see that Katniss is just as much controlling.  
> I'm currently writing the next chapter so I hope that it'll be up soon. (the next two hours that I have by myself is Wednesday so we'll shoot for that.) And if you're waiting for the last chapter of All the While, I'm getting to it. I just don't want it to end.   
> If you ever have a question or a comment about this story ask me on tumblr (itsmorrgan) and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.  
> Thank you all for the love and support, it keeps me going. <3

I haven’t contacted Peeta yet, even though it’s already Wednesday. I haven’t started my _‘research’_ yet and I’m afraid that if I call him, he’ll know that I’ve neglected to do it. I cannot let him know that I’m actually scared of what I’ll find out. I’m not sure if I’m afraid that I’ll end up liking the idea of being beaten for pleasure or I’ll be so terrified that I run for the hills and away from Peeta. And the thought of not being with Peeta is enough to make a weird feeling develop in the pit of my stomach. So I haven’t done any of the research, though I’ve vowed to myself that I’d at least skim tonight.

“Katniss,” Johanna calls my name.

I totally forgot that I promised to eat lunch with her. I smile and prepare myself to grovel my make up for my awful memory. Johanna is technically my only friend here so far, I can’t fuck this up.

“Hey Jo, sorry I totally forgot about lunch.”

“No biggie,” she waves me off. “I sensed that you were having an off day so I took it upon myself to grab a sandwich for you. Is turkey okay?”

I nod my head as Johanna rummages through a paper bag and hands me a plastic wrapped sandwich with crusty bread and leafy greens.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. Want to tell me what’s got you out of whack?” Johanna asks as she takes a seat next to me at my desk and begins to unwrap her own sandwich.

I shrug. “It’s a long story.”

“Does it have to do with you not speaking to Gale because he tried to kiss you outside of the bar and a certain Blonde Billionaire came to the rescue?”

My eyes widen. How does Johanna know that I haven’t made up with Gale because he tried shoving his tongue in my mouth?

“Gale told me,” Jo began to explain. “He told me how you two dated briefly but you broke it off before anything really happened. I think he got the hint that you aren’t into him like that when you left with Peeta Mellark and didn’t get home until the next morning and then went on a date with him that night and again didn’t come home.”

“How do you know about the whole Peeta thing?”

“Your sister told Rory and Rory told Gale and Gale told me last night when I mentioned how you were all distracted at work.”

“Why were you talking to Gale last night?”

Johanna shrugs this time but her smile gives her away. “He’s got a nice butt.”

“Like a naked butt or jean-clad butt?”

“One doesn’t kiss and tell,” Johanna tells me before shoving her sandwich into her mouth.

“You’ve kissed Gale? Wait, have you slept with Gale? You had sex with my best friend!” I can’t contain how shocked I am.

“Would you be mad if I said you’re using the wrong word tense?”

“You’re sleeping with him, still?”

Johanna nods and I lean back in my chair, my brain being efficiently blown.

“So are you mad? I’ll stop if you’ve got some sort of weird predatory hold with Gale.”

“No predatory hold. I’m just shocked. How did this happen?”

“Well I’m pretty sure he is just doing it to get back at you.”

“And you’re fine with him using you?”

“I like his dick, so it’s a win-win situation.”

I cringe at the mental pictures at surface.

“But seriously,” Johanna says. “Return his call and make up with the poor bastard already. I’m starting to feel bad for the guy, and I’m allergic to feelings.”

I nod my head. I’ll call Gale after I get home from work. Once I get home and before I start the daunting task of researching.

 

A few minutes before I normally pack up for the day and head home my boss; Seneca Crane comes waltzing up to my desk with his assistant, Enobaria Stevens. I’d only seen him once after my initial interview; I’d seen her half a dozen times. They’re a weird pair, between his dramatic beard and her oddly pointed teeth, I would never picture them as scientists but more along the lines of want-to-be trend setters from the future.

“Katniss,” Mr. Crane purrs as he perches himself on the edge of my desk, far too close for comfort.

“Mr. Crane,” I smile. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Actually there is. Normally we’d have a seasoned veteran work on something like this but I think you’d be perfect for the job seeing your transcripts. We have a project that comes straight from the top, from Mr. Snow himself that will be right up your alley.”

Mr. Snow is the owner and founder of Districts Energy. He’s quite old and quite a bit wealthier. Mr. Snow is known to have connections with the government and it’s not uncommon for some of the higher employees to get job transfers to work with some of the President’s men.

“What’s the project?”

“Normally we work with ways to make reusable energy, but in this instance it’s a little different. You see, there is this berry that looks similar to the blueberry, it is called nightlock.  It’s very, very deadly. Within minutes or even seconds of consumption you’ll be dead.  The government has been looking into using it as a way out if a soldier were to get caught. However the berry itself is very fragile so it doesn’t travel well. That is why it’s your job to break down the compounds and find a way to make it into something inconspicuous and easy to get to in a moment’s notice.”

“Certainly,” I nod. I can’t believe that in my second week of working here I’m already getting an assignment as huge as this.

“Excellent. We’ll get started next week.”

I almost miss the wink that Seneca gives me before he’s sliding off my desk and sauntering away with Enobaria hot on his trail.

 

Gale’s constant word of the day is sorry. He said it to me at least twelve times while on the phone with him for only twenty minutes. All is forgiven, Gale knows his places. And when I asked him if he had feelings for Jo or was sleeping with her some sort of revenge, he promised that though it may have started out that way, Gale honestly enjoys the time he’s spending with her. Not that any guy wouldn’t like to spend time with Johanna. She’s hot, smart, and willing to try anything in bed at least once or twice. She’s the type of girl that Peeta should be with.

Thinking of Peeta, as soon as I make my way home I briefly say hello to Prim before shutting myself into my room and start up my new laptop. I have to start this research tonight. I’ll be seeing him on Friday, two days from now, and if I haven’t started by then, Peeta will take that as means not to continue.

My fingers hover over the keys as I stare at the Google search bar. Slowly I begin to type in _BDSM sex_ then hit enter. I click the first link and it brings me to a video. I’ve never watched porn before and I feel sneaky as I plug my headphones into the jack and take a quick look at my door before pushing play.

She’s tied up and suspended in midair. Both ankles are tied to two support bars as well as her wrists, causing her to be spread eagle for the camera. Her breasts are being squeezed by a figure eight of rope turning them red and purple. She’s crying, her eye make-up is streaming down her face and the ball gag in her mouth is probably making it hard for her to breath. I don’t even realize that a man in all black is coming into view with a whip until it’s connecting to the poor girl’s skin, turning her back into a strip of red flesh. She lets out muffled scream after muffled scream as the man whips her over and over again. On her back, stomach, breasts, the backs of her thighs, the insides of her thighs, _there._ I watch as he flicks the whip so the leathery tips hit between the girl’s lower lips, right at her clit. I can see how much pain she’s in. How real this is.

I can’t do that. I can’t let Peeta tie me up until I can’t move and put a gag in my mouth so I can’t talk and whip me until my screams scratch up my throat until I’m mute. There would be no way I could get the safe word out or give a signal with my hands that are tied up. That’s not a form of trust. That’s abuse. Some girls may enjoy the punishment but I do not.

I don’t even realize that I’m crying until I feel the tears hitting my lips. That settles it. I don’t care how amazing Peeta’s dick made me feel, he’ll never get the chance to do to me what the man in the video is doing to that girl. I find my phone and scroll to Peeta’s name. I should call him but I can’t let him hear how bad this is all affecting me.

**_Katniss Everdeen: I can’t do it._ **

I don’t offer any explanation or an apology. I just can’t do it. I don’t even wait for Peeta to reply before I’m turning off my phone and the computer. I’ll return the laptop and the music box to his work. I’ll give them to Meredith so I won’t even have to see him.

I strip out of my work clothes and put on a pair of ratty sweatpants and a tee shirt that I’ve had since middle school then slip back into bed and under the covers. I curl into myself and try to stop the tears. I curse myself for feeling this way about not being able to see a boy I don’t even know again. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I put aside my feelings for his own. I never put my needs and wants before anybody else, but this time it’s necessary.

 

I wake up with a headache from crying myself to sleep. The tears are still wet on my cheeks and my nose is still stuffy. There’s talking downstairs, it’s what woke me up. I think Prim was calling my name, but I hear here climbing the stairs so I don’t bother answering back. There’s a light knock on the door followed by my name. Only it’s not Prim that’s saying it, it’s Peeta.

“Katniss, can I come in please?”

I panic. I didn’t want him coming here. I texted him so I wouldn’t have to hear or see him ever again. I’m not strong enough for that. I don’t say anything as I watch Peeta turn the door handle and pop the door open slowly. Peeta makes his way into my room slowly as if he’s trying not to frighten a wild animal.

Peeta stands across the room, looking dapper in his crisp black suit and a tie that matches his eye color. His unruly hair is coiffed back making Peeta look ever the business man. Another reason why I didn’t want to see him again is because he’s far too handsome for his own good, and Peeta knows it. 

“Katniss?” My name is a question.

“Why are you here?”

“I tried calling and texting. You can’t just send me that text and that’s it.”

“That’s how I wanted it to be.”

“Is this really what you want? I thought we had something.”

“I can’t be that girl in the video Peeta. I’m not her. I don’t like being whipped bloody just for someone else’s pleasure.”

“Video? Did you watch porn?” Peeta asks.

I nod my head. “It was just one video but it was enough.”

“Oh Katniss,” Peeta sighs with relief as he sits at the foot of my bed. “It’s not like that. That is extreme. What you watched was all for pain. Some people enjoy that. I do not. I like that line that blurs between pain and pleasure. I will whip you, tie you up, but you’ll love it. Your body will come to life. We’ll take baby steps.”

“I can’t be _that_ girl. I _won’t_ be that girl,” I state sternly.

“I don’t expect you to be that girl.”

I’ve been toying with the corner of my duvet but with Peeta’s announcement I speak a peak at him from through my eyelashes. How would I not be that girl? It’s what he wants, isn’t it?

“Katniss,” Peeta scoots closer to me. “I normally don’t do this but since you have no clue what you’re getting yourself into, let me show you. You can say no right now and I’ll leave. That’ll be it, I’ll tear up your contract and you won’t have to see me again. But if you say yes, I’ll show you right now how good we can be together.”

“Right now?” I stutter out.

Peeta moves even closer to me, sweeps some of my hair behind my back and hovers his lips over my pulse point. “Right now. Tell me what you want.”

Oh God. “But Prim will hear us.”

“You better be quiet then,” Peeta took that as a yes and started trailing kisses along the column of my neck. Goose bumps break out against my skin.

I don’t mean to but I let out a heavy sigh. Peeta smirks against my skin. I am his once again as I feel my body begin to respond to his touches. Peeta gently pushes me down to lay on my back, my head and hair fanned out across my pillow. Peeta’s body covers mine; he’s got our fingers intertwined so I won’t touch him. That’s something I quickly picked up. Peeta does not like to be touched, I’m not sure why, and I’m too afraid to ask, but he doesn’t, and I’ll respect that as long as he keeps touching me.

Peeta placed my hands above my head. “Leave them there,” he instructs as he leans away from me.

I watch as Peeta loosens his tie, letting it fall into his hand. He’s got a devilish smirk plastered on his face that makes me quiver. “We’re going to have fun now Katniss.”


	9. So It Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, where have I even been? RL is still hectic as fuck and it's not going to slow down in the foreseeable future so updates may become less frequent. I'll try to get two chapters in a month but no promises. I tried editing this chapter this morning but realized that I was going to be late for for so sorry for the spelling mistakes. I know that some of you have offered to beta for me and I would love it if someone would. If anything is interested at all please message me on Tumblr (itsmorrgan) that is the only place where I actually am trying to stay active on.  
> I love getting all of the feedback, I know I don't respond but trust me I am reading them all and grinning like a goof. When I get reviews I really want to get chapters out faster.  
> The last chapter for All the While is still in the works, it's been like two months already and I'm still trying to tie it all together. I just flopped a lot of stuff out with that fic and didn't have a timeline like I have on here so I'm trying to pull together loose ends.   
> The ending of this isn't what I wanted but it'll do, I'm excited for this story to really pick up.  
> This chapter is a lot like a chapter in FSOG book, I took a lot of influence from that but of course Peeta is better than Christian.  
> End Author Note!

I sit up quickly and pull my arms into my chest, completely forgetting that Peeta told me to leave them above my head and stay lying own. My nervousness has turned into fear and the look on my face makes Peeta set his tie on my bedside table and reach for my hands, interlocking our fingers together.

“We need a safe word. Sometimes saying no or stop won’t mean that you actually want me to stop. But with the safe word, I’ll drop everything. You use this word whenever you want, however many times you want. If I’m hurting you or you’re uncomfortable, anything at all. I want you to say that word, in fact I encourage it. I don’t want to ever hurt you psychically but also mentally, Katniss. Choose a word, something that you’ll be able to remember.”

I take a look around my bedroom. I spot the music box that Peeta gave me sitting on my dresser. “Mockingjay,” I whisper.

“Okay,” Peeta says back.

Peeta picks his tie back up from the nightstand and kisses me slowly. “What are you going to say when you want me to stop?”

“Mockingjay,” I mumble against his lips, eager for more for his kisses.

“Very good.”

Peeta pushes me back down against the mattress and once again Peeta brings my hands up so that they rest on the pillow above my head. This time he doesn’t tell me to leave them there. I already know. One of Peeta’s hands tangles into my hair to control my head, increasing our already demanding kiss. The other one ghosts down my body starting by trailing his fingertips down the column of my neck, over my collarbone, whispering over my breasts causing my nipples to pebble, down my torso until he reaches the hem of my shirt at my hip. Then he travels back up my body causing the same tingling reaction he created with the first pass. It’s a soothing, comforting feeling, Peeta gently stroking my body, mixed in with something gloriously antagonizing.

It’s amazing how just simple touches can turn me on so much. I’m damp between my legs and ache to feel some sort of friction. I start to subtly squeeze my thighs back and forth to try and relieve some pressure but I wasn’t subtle enough.

“Legs apart, _now_ ,” Peeta demands and I quickly spread my legs as far as they can go without going off the bed immediately. Peeta is impressed. “Very good, Katniss. Very eager, I like that.”

Peeta’s leaning over me, our chests brushing together each time we take a breath. “I’m going to tie your hands, okay?”

Peeta wants my permission. I nod my head and feel the expensive silk against the back of my hands and wrists as he loops it in and around my wrists and one of the wooden spools of my headboard. Once I’m tied up I give it an experimental tug. It’s tight enough to keep me in place for now but if I truly tried to break free, I’d be able to without much difficulty. That thought is comforting.

Peeta sits back to look at me; legs apart with my wrists bound to the bed. It’s a sight I know that he likes. There is a large tenting in his slacks. I try not to stare but I can’t help it. The thought of his _thing_ going in me is still foreign.

“I think you’ve seen enough for now, don’t you think?” Peeta smirks down at me.

Peeta begins to roll up my shirt until it’s up and over my breasts and then my neck and finally until my shirt comes to land over my eyes, blocking out my view of Peeta altogether. Before I get a chance to get used to not being able to see Peeta has stripped me from my sweatpants, leaving me in nothing in a plain pair of black cotton panties.

“I don’t think that I’ll ever tire seeing you like this Ms. Everdeen. Your body is a masterpiece,” Peeta’s fingertips lightly graze over the edge of my breast. I can almost see the look of awe on his face through the thick covering of my rolled up shirt.

“Is this okay for you?” he asks me.

“Yes,” I whisper out hoarsely. Who knew that I’d be so turned on by being tied to my own bed and ogled at by a man?

“Good. I’m feeling a little parched. I think I’ll just go down stairs real quick for a glass of water. Do not move, Katniss.”

I start to panic a little as I feel Peeta get up off the bed and then hear the door creak open then shut again. I faintly hear the sound of his footsteps going down the stairs. What if Prim comes into the room while Peeta is gone and sees me like this? Oh my God, what if I get myself untied and covered and Prim doesn’t come into my room and Peeta comes back to find me covered and disobeying. Punishment and reward, right? Peeta is supposed to be showing me just how amazing we could be together if I just trust him. I calm myself down, Prim won’t come in here. She’s probably in her room talking to Rory or her friend Bristol or Bonnie or something.

Peeta comes back into the room with something that he sets down on my bedside table. “Good job, you didn’t move an inch.”

He’s right, I didn’t. I want my reward now. I spread my legs a tad bit further hoping that Peeta will see that I am eager for him, I am needy for him.

“Not yet, Katniss,” Peeta tells me. “I would like to get better acquainted with your body first. My lips have not kissed all of you yet.”

All of my other senses are heightened because I cannot see. I can feel each ridge of Peeta’s fingerprints smoothing over my knee and down my shin. Peeta reaches my ankle that is closest to him and he picks up my foot. I feel his lips pressing against my instep. I don’t even have time to have fears of my feet smelling bad because it feels so sexual. How can something as simple as a kiss to my foot awaken my body like its doing? Does Peeta have a foot fetish, do I have a foot fetish?

As I’m caught up in my thoughts Peeta’s lips have trailed up and calf then to the other leg where kisses his way up my knee. Peeta was serious about wanting to kiss all of me. Higher and higher up my leg until I’m shaking and Peeta’s so close to my core. I try and move my body in order to get Peeta to kiss where I want. But Peeta had other ideas.

He backs away from me, leaving my body aching for more of those simple touches. I hear the clink of the glass on my nightstand then feel something shockingly cold against my nipple. I let out a loud gasp and my body bows off the bed.

“Don’t move, Katniss. If you move I won’t touch you.”

I immediately stop moving. I want Peeta to touch me. No, I need Peeta to touch me. I can almost see the pleased look on Peeta’s face that I complied so quickly. Peeta continues to rub the ice cube over my nipple until it’s at a stiff peak and numb. I bite my lip to fight back the squeals and gasps. That doesn’t help however when Peeta pinches my nipple so hard that even the numbness doesn’t take any of the mouth-watering pain away.

“Peeta,” I moan out. The mixture between pain and pleasure and hot and cold is unlike nothing else. It’s a green light right to the center of my body.

“Shh,” Peeta trails the ice cube down my stomach, swirling it around my belly button then over my panties. It melts almost instantly.

“Katniss, you’re so hot,” Peeta says as if I didn’t already know. “So responsive to everything. Let’s see how wet you are.”

Peeta peels my panties back slowly and I hear him groan. I remind myself over and over again not to move my hips back and forth. If I just be patient Peeta will give me what I want. It’s hard though, I feel like I am about to burst open at seams.

“Your body is a gift, Katniss. I cannot say that enough. There is no one in this world as beautiful as you,” Peeta says in awe.

I can think of at least a hundred girls that are much prettier than I am, but right now it doesn’t matter. I am here and they are not. I give out a small pleading groan and Peeta’s hands are back on me. They rest just on my hips but they have so many places that they could move to bring me joy; my breasts where his fingers could tweak my nipples into painful peaks or down to between my thighs where he’ll caress my folds until I’m withering in pleasure.

It’s not his hands that move onto me though, it’s his mouth. Peeta’s lips latch deliciously onto a nipple and I gasp. A shard of ice twirls around his tongue and I’m hit with a mix of hot and cold. The sensation is unlike anything else. I want to move my lower body, I try a few times, but Peeta’s hands remain firmly in place, holding me down as he assaults each breast.

I’ve been trying to hold back my moans and mewls, afraid that Prim will hear what we’re doing behind my closed door, but Peeta’s tongue traveling down my stomach to my wet center feels too good not to let out a few light sighs.

“I want to hear you,” Peeta mumbles. He’s dangerously close to giving me what I want, yet he’s still too far away. I can’t let Prim hear us so I keep my lips locked tight. “Katniss, I want to hear you.”

“No,” I make the mistake in saying.

“Oh Katniss,” I feel Peeta back away from me entirely and I begin to feel a panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach.  “You were doing so well but you disobeyed me. You have to be punished now.”

The tie is pulled and it loosens enough for it to unravel around my wrists. The panicky feeling is increasing, what if Peeta walks away now? I’m so built up and dying for a release. What if my punishment is no orgasm? My tee shirt is removed from my body and I can see Peeta again. His blonde hair is still pristine and his blue eyes are shining. He doesn’t look upset, but we are alike in that way’ we can mask our feelings well.

“I’m going to spank you, Katniss,” Peeta sits down on the edge of the bed and motions me to sit across his lap, so I do.  I’m lying across his lap, with my butt in the air and my hands behind my back, locked into place by one of Peeta’s large hands, and my face pressed into my duvet. “I want you to count the amount of times you are spanked.”

I nod and Peeta fondles my behind gently. I’m not prepared for the first slap so when Peeta’s hand leaves my skins for a moment before returning with a quick slap, I exhale out a large breath that I wasn’t aware that I had been holding in. It’s not too painful, though it stings and I’m sure I’ll be sore come tomorrow.

“Count,” Peeta reminds me.

“One,” I tell him in a strong voice.

Again and then again. It hurts now, and Peeta is alternating where he’s hitting to make sure the pain is spread out. But there is also something else, something else that is causing my wetness to seep out of me and down my thighs. Four, five.

“That’s enough. Your skin is so beautiful when it’s pink. I’m going to fuck you now, and I want to hear you, okay?”

I nod my head eagerly. I’ll scream from the roof gladly if Peeta fucks me now. Peeta helps me to the middle of the bed, on my hands and knees, my pink ass on perfect display. I hear the telltale sound of Peeta’s belt and zipper being undone and the crinkle of a condom packet being opened.

Peeta places his hands onto my hips and positions himself at my opening. “Okay Katniss, we’ll start out slow, I don’t want to hurt you. But as soon as your body is accommodated, I will not hold back. Remind me of the safe word,” Peeta orders.

“Mockingjay,” I reply.

“Very good.”

 I can feel Peeta enter me slowly. He groans loudly, pulling out then entering into me once again. It doesn’t hurt; I’m so wet that Peeta is having little resistance from me. I’m wrapped around his heavy member like a tight hug, squeezing him, causing him to let out animalistic growls that are music to my ears.

“Let it out Katniss. I want to hear you.”

This time I don’t say no. I moan loudly and arch my back a little further. Peeta starts to quicken his pace, moving my hips back and forth for me. I’m completely at his demand, but I don’t mind because I’m climbing higher and higher to that special place. Where only Peeta has ever taken me, where the only person I ever want to take me, higher and higher until I’m standing on the tip of Mount Everest and the air is thin and I’m looking down at the ant world below me.

Peeta moves his hands from my hips to palm my breasts to my hair where he wraps my braid around his fingers and pulls, yanking me up against his chest that is still covered in his dress shirt, the buttons dig into my back and cause a new sort of sensation. This new angle has Peeta hitting a spot deep inside me that has me involuntarily clenching around him and shouting out his name.

“F—f—f—fuck! Peeta,” I shout as he slams into me harder and harder still.

“Do not come yet,” Peeta orders me as he kisses up and down my neck.

I’m not sure how not to come. If Peeta keeps up with this punish rhythm then I will most certainly come, Peeta’s demands be damned. I’m close, so close. I can taste the sweet release on the tip of my tongue.

“I’m close—I can’t.” I can’t even form full sentence with the way my brain is being fogged up by this insane lust.

“I know Baby, I know. Just a few more minutes.”

I nod and latch my fingers into his hair to anchor myself for what is about to come as I try to focus on anything other than Peeta constantly hitting that sweet spot inside me. Peeta tightens his hold on me around my torso with one arm while his other hand trails down my body to where we connect. I let out a shriek the moment Peeta’s fingers press against my swollen clit. He works and works it until I’m begging, for what I’m not sure, but I am begging nonetheless.

“Come, Katniss.”

It’s as if his command sends me overboard. I’m coming so hard that black spots form right in front of me.  I forget everything, how to think, how to form sentences, how to breathe. All that matters in this moment are the feelings are Peeta is causing me to feel and the sounds escaping his lips. I didn’t think that it could possibly get any better than the first few times Peeta and I had sex but I swear that this experience, the tie, the not being able to see, the spanking, blew everything else out of the water. No wonder Peeta doesn’t do the hearts and flowers bullshit. This is clearly what he’s good at.

I’m vaguely aware that Peeta is pulling out of me and settling me down on the bed. I notice that his body heat is gone but I don’t have the chance to miss him before he’s back again.

“Sit up,” Peeta tells me gently.

I do and Peeta helps put my shirt back on, then he’s having me roll onto my stomach. Cool hands are massaging my bottom, soothing the angry red handprints. Peeta slips the sweatpants back onto me and crawls into bed, scooping me into his arms. I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck and breathe in deep.

“Prim left to go to Bonnie’s house. She said something about carpooling to the senior breakfast and rehearsal with her. Also Prim said that your mom called and she wasn’t going to be home tonight.”

“So you just let me think that Prim was here while you demanded me to let it all out while you fuck me silly?”

“It’s about trust Katniss. You have to trust me with this stuff. I would never do anything you truly did not want to do. However I am sorry for making you believe that she was still here. I knew that you’d say no to me wanting you to be vocal, I just wanted to show you what one of the consequences would be if you don’t listen.”

“I don’t listen very well.”

“I know. It’s one of the things I like about you.”

“Really?” I question.

“Yeah, I’m so used to everyone doing what I tell them to do without a question. It’s kind of nice to be second guessed. Not to mention that it will be fun trying to control that stubborn mouth of yours.”

“I don’t think you’ll succeed.”

“Me either, but just think of all the times I’ll try.”

I grin into Peeta’s neck as I think of all the times Peeta will try to tame my stubborn ways.

“Go to sleep, we both have to be up early tomorrow.”

“Wait, you’re staying?” I pull back to look Peeta in the face.

“Is that okay? I don’t think it would be very polite of me to fuck you like that then skip out, especially after the circumstances that brought me here in the first place.”

“I just thought that you didn’t sleep in the same bed as your slaves.”

“There is that word again. You are not a slave Katniss. Slaves cannot leave whenever they please, they do not have a voice, nor do they have a choice. You have all three.”

“I’m just not sure what to call myself.”

“Companion, lover, sexual friend? Any will do,” Peeta shrugs.  

“Fine. I thought you didn’t sleep in the same bed as your sexual friends.”

“Normally I don’t but I’ve broken all of my rules thus far, haven’t I?” Peeta grins and kisses the tip of my nose gently.

“I like it when you break your rules.”

“I think I like it too. Go to sleep, Katniss.”

I close my eyes and wrap myself deeper into Peeta. The smell of his musky scent and his evening breath sends me into a tranquil sleep that I never want to escape from. 


	10. Graduation is in Order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! Thank you to dandelionlass for betaing!   
> So RL is starting to slow down. Just a little bit, but enough for me to actually start writing the next chapter. Maybe if we're all lucky I can have it out by like this weekend or something? I'll be busy next week due to it being spring break and all. But yeah. I finally got around to watching Fifty Shades of Grey (illegally, I wouldn't go see it in theatres) and I cringed almost the whole time. There was one part of the movie that I liked which was in the books but I was going to leave out of here but now I think I'm going to find a way to squeeze in. Anyways, enjoy this!

I wake up to Peeta’s warm body pressing against me. The alarm hasn’t gone off yet and Peeta is still past asleep. I’ve never seen him look so at peace before. His normal serious and concentrated look is now replaced with an angelic serene one. My gaze travels down Peeta’s body. We’re both still naked from the night before, not that I’m complaining. I haven’t had the chance to admire Peeta’s excellent physique up close before. He’s always been careful not to let me get too close to him.

I’m hovering my fingers over the contours of Peeta’s chest when I notice an abnormality. A small jagged white line mars the skin right about his left nipple. There is another one further down, then another and then another. The closer I look the more disfigured Peeta’s skin actually is. His torso is covered in completely healed scars ranging from small line like the one above his nipple to circle-ish ones to oddly shaped blobs.

Just as I’m about to skim over one of the scars Peeta snatches my hand away. The harsh movement scares me but Peeta quickly gentles his grasp and places a kiss against my palm.

“I think you’re up to no good, Ms. Everdeen. I’d hate to have to punish you again.”

“Odd. I thought you’d like it.”

“Not like, Darling, love. I would love to see your ass cheeks turn a brilliant shade of pink but,” Peeta pauses to check his watch on my nightstand. “But, we should probably be getting up. I need to leave soon so I can get home to change and shower. I’d hate to walk into the meeting I’m having today smelling like sex.”

“But that’s what all the cool kids smell like nowadays,” I’m not sure where this carefree attitude is coming from but I like it.

“Oh Katniss, you’re going to be the death of me. Get dressed so you can see to it that I get to my car safely.”

“If your car is still here that is. This isn’t the safest neighborhood in all of Seattle.”

“It’s a good thing I have insurance.”

I dawdle getting dressed. First I admire Peeta’s perfect backside as he pulls up his slack pants, sans boxer because they have seemingly gotten lost underneath my bed. Finally when he’s finished buttoning the last of his buttons I reach for my frumpy clothes and put them all on, one appendage at a time.

“Can I at least make you something before you leave? I’d hate for you to think that I only want you for your penis,” I joke.

“Amusing. But I guess I can spare a few minutes. What are you making?”

“Toast,” I answer simply. “Would you like it burnt or medium rare?”

Peeta smiles. “I guess I’ll take it medium rare.”

I pop two slices of bed into the janky toaster and pray that I don’t get shocked when I push down the lever; I was lucky this time.

“Who’s is this?”

I turn around to see Peeta is holding up a pile of printed papers that have been on the counter for weeks now.

“Oh, that is Prim’s. She applied to do some summer internship program for some doctor named Aurelius or something but she didn’t get it. Prim moped around here for like a month afterwards, she idolizes that man. He’s like Dr. Phil but legit or something.”

“Or something,” Peeta smiles.

“Or something,” I grin.

Peeta and I eat our toast, which ended up more on the burnt side than the medium rare sire, his with a smearing of peanut butter and mine with a pad of melted butter, in relative silence. Our bare feet smooth over each other as we play footsie underneath the kitchen table. Never in a million years would I have thought that I’d being having breakfast with a guy under this roof. Any roof really. Relationships weren’t something that I was interested, even though this relationship is more of a business transaction.

Peeta kisses me softly on the front porch, reminding me of my doctor’s appointment that he made for later today. How could I forget Peeta meddling with my bodily decisions again? I think of skipping the visit but that wouldn’t be a very wise decision. Peeta has promised that an opportunity could arise where we cannot afford the time to mess with a condom and the idea of an unplanned pregnancy is enough to get me to do just about anything. Peeta also promises to see me on Friday for Prim’s graduation.

***

Peeta holds my stare as the principal makes his speech. He’s making bedroom eyes at me; dark and sexy. I am constantly shifting in my seat to try and ease the ache in between my legs, but nothing helps.

“Do you have to go to the bathroom or something?” Gale whispers beside me.

“No,” I say quickly. “My butt is just asleep.”

“Mine too. No offense but I hope Prim and _Mr. Mellark’s_ speeches are short and to the point.”

I smile up at Gale then turn back to Peeta who sends me a small smirk. The group of I’m assuming to be single moms behind me are saying something about how he’s so hot and I can’t help myself but turn my head around and give them all an evil glare. _Peeta is mine._

Prim’s valedictorian speech is short and sweet, just like Gale hoped.  First she starts with talking about how all we need is just a small amount of hope and together we can create something amazing. Then she proceeds to talk about how the older generations talks down to their generations because of how dependent on all of the technology around but in all actuality, technology is the future so the generation of today will thrive.  Talking about all of the technology, Prim easily segues into the benefactor of today’s ceremony; Peeta Mellark.

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen,” Peeta says once the clapping settles down. “Many people have come up to me over the last couple of hours thanking me for my donations. They all tell me that today wouldn’t be possible without me. Yet that is not true. Today would not be possible without all of the students that put in all the time and hard effort to graduate.”

The crowd begins to clap again and Peeta flashes a small smile that makes all the girls swoon.  “When I was in high school, I made many wrong choices. I was a troubled teen and I hated to be told what to do. That was until I got into extracurricular activities. Instead  of being punished for trying to beat people up, wrestling gave me the ability to let out some of the pent of aggression that I had been harboring in a controlled matter. It gave me patience, control, fearlessness, and confidence. I needed all of those things to be where I am today. So to donate a sum of money to ensure that the leaders of tomorrow find their own fearlessness is really a gift to me, so thank you.”

Everyone claps again, louder this time. I can’t help to smile, that’s _my_ man. One by one high school students turn into high school graduates as they are each handed a rolled up piece of paper. I shout praise for Prim and then for Rory. Soon we are dismissed to find our loved ones and encouraged to join everyone for punch and cookies in the cafeteria. I excuse myself to find Peeta quickly before hunting down Prim.

“Looking for someone?” A deep voice says from behind me.

I whip around and smile at the blue-eyed God standing in front of me. “Yeah I am, maybe you can help me?” I smile coyly.

“Maybe I can. Who are you looking for?”

“This handsome devil with a dashing smile and the most beautiful eyes, have you seen him?”

“I think I have. He just went through that door over there,” Peeta points to the locker room door.  “I’ll assist you in finding this fellow.”

Peeta grabs my hand and pulls me into the abandoned locker room. In one fell swoop, Peeta closes the heavy door, pushes me up against it, and presses our lips together as if our lives depend on it. I moan as Peeta roughly gropes my breasts, his tongue dominating me.

“Peeta,” I pant as wet lips trail down my neck leaving goosebumps to emerge all over my body. “Peeta,” I say a little more sternly this time.

He stops, dragging his eyes to look down at me. “It’s only been a day Katniss. How are you doing this to me?”

“Doing what?”

“Making me crazy,” he says as if it was pretty obvious. “I was sitting up there trying my hardest to hide my fucking hard on while your just sitting there smiling and talking to Hawthorne. I need you.”

“Are you jealous of Gale?” I ask because of the way he spits his last name.

“He wants you. I can see it all over him.”

“Gale is with Johanna. I told you that.”

“It doesn’t stop him from still wanting what’s mine.”

“Not yours yet.”

“Sign the papers Katniss. We already know how good it’ll be, or do I need to give you a reminder.”

“I’ll take the reminder,” I grin.

Peeta grabs my wrists and pins them above my head with one hands then grabs my chin with the other. Just as he’s about to kiss me again I say, “Remind me later. I have to find Prim.”

Peeta closes his eyes and breathes deeply but after a few pounding heartbeats, Peeta drops my hands and they fall to my sides. “Fine. Let’s go see your sister. I want to wish her congratulations as well.”

Prim is already standing with our mother and the Hawthorne family when Peeta and I find her. I want to turn to Peeta and tell him that I would talk to him later but before I have the chance he’s striding over the group and making himself comfortable.

“Mom, Hazelle,” Prim smiles. “This is Mr. Peeta Mellark. He’s Katniss’ boyfriend. Peeta, this is our mother, Camellia, and this is my boyfriend’s mother, Hazelle.”

“It’s wonderful to meet the both of you.”

“You and Katniss are dating?” my mother asks with a look of disbelief.

“Yes ma’am,” Peeta says without missing a beat, even though we are not dating. Peeta doesn’t do hearts and flowers.

“Why haven’t you told me about Peeta dear?” she asks me.

“How can I tell you when you’re never home?” I don’t mean for it to come out bitchy as it does, or maybe I do. It doesn’t matter anyways; I’ve already got the death glare from Prim, Peeta and Gale. “I mean, it’s a fairly new relationship.”

“Oh well, we were all just discussing that we should all eat at The Hob for lunch. Peeta would you like to join us?” my mom asks Peeta.

“I’d love to. I can’t say that I’ve ever been there,” Peeta answers.

“It’s a little hole in the wall place that’s owned by this homeless looking woman named Sae. She’s not a looker, or much of a talker but she knows how to cook up a mean venison steak,” Rory tells him.

***

I can’t believe that I’m sitting beside Peeta in a place like this with my family and the Hawthorne’s all sitting around me as if nothing is out of the ordinary. Prim and Rory are talking about their plans for the summer now that high school is officially over and it’s their last summer before they have to enter the real world.

“Remember how we had plans for going to Hawaii after I graduated?” Prim asks me as I take a bite of mash potatoes.

“That was forever ago. I didn’t think you still remembered.”

“How could I forget? We were going to go deep sea diving and you were going to get bit by a shark and I was going to save you with just the string of my bathing suit top. I was going to be a legend and you were going to go on to teach amputated people how to shoot a bow and arrow with their feet.”

Peeta laughs out loud and it makes me smile. “What else did you have planned, Primrose?” He asks her.

“We were going to climb to the top of a volcano and preform a cleansing ritual by throwing things into the center of it. And of course we would meet a pair of island boys and fall in love and never leave but obviously we’d skip over that part now.” 

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Peeta looks at me. I smile at him and nod my head. Too bad real life won’t let any of that happen.

After more aimless talking, Peeta pulls an envelope out of his suit jacket pocket. “Prim I heard that you applied to Dr. Aurelius’ summer program but didn’t get in.”

Prim looks at me quickly then looks back at Peeta. “Yeah, hundreds of people didn’t get in either so I guess I can’t take it personally.”

“My mother is a doctor; Dr. Margaret Mellark. She’s good friends with Perry. I’m good friends with him as well. I saw Perry on Wednesday night actually. I asked him about the program, turns out a young girl that was chosen had to give up her spot due to failing to pass the drug test everyone is required to take. I told him about you, told him that you applied but didn’t get in. Normally this doesn’t happen, but Dr. Aurelius was impressed with your tenacity,” Peeta handed over the envelop for Prim to open.

Prim opens it and reads over the letter to herself. Once she’s finished her eyes dart back up to meet Peeta. “Is this real?” Prim’s voice is barely a whisper. It’s so shaky and on the verge of breaking.

“Turns out Perry doesn’t like the picking process for who is chosen to be a part of this opportunity. Yeah, all of these people sound good on paper, but he always felt that that lacked the drive or humility. And the only way he feels that he can find people like that is with face to face interviews. So starting next year they’ll do paper applications and then conduct a few interviews. However, since there is an opening now, he thought that he better test it out. You have an interview on Monday.”

“Peeta,” I say in disbelief. I can’t believe that he did this for my sister. This opportunity is huge and it’ll change Prim’s life completely. All her life she’s dreamed of becoming a doctor and with Dr. Aurelius’ program as a large stepping stone, she can literally go anywhere and do anything. The door to the world is wide open for my baby sister and it is all thanks to the man that is sitting next to me.

Everyone is quiet. Prim is in tears. I am in tears.

“Thank you Peeta,” Prim rounds the table and hugs Peeta tightly. Peeta is apprehensive at first but hugs Prim back tightly.

“When you become Seattle’s next hot shot doctor, I want free checkups,” Peeta jokes.

“You’ll get special house calls, whatever you want.”

Peeta hugs Prim one more time before Prim goes back and settles into her seat. For being a man that doesn’t do hearts and flowers, Peeta’s good at it.


	11. Let the Games Begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so long for me to finally post this! I've been insanely busy and I've been trying (and failing) to write the last chapter of All The While. I guess I just don't want that one to end just yet. But anyways, like always the characters are not mine. The plot isn't really mine either, I'm just improving it in ways. This one is a smutty one, which I'm terrible at so you've been warned.  
> dandelionlass is super amazing and beta'd this for me at lightening speed. Thank you! (:  
> follow me on tumblr @ itsmorrgan

Peeta invited me back to his place after dinner but I declined to spend the night with Prim. I promised him that I would come over today though. And since its Saturday, we can spend the entire day together without being interrupted by needing to go to work.

I punch in Peeta’s combination for the elevator to take me to his penthouse and wait not so patiently for the doors to open back up again. Peeta is leaning against the wall, opposite the elevator, when the doors finally do open.

“Hi,” I smile.

“Hello Katniss.”

He’s wearing a pair of really old jeans that have holes and paint splattered on them. They’re faded and frayed and grip Peeta’s thighs and ass in such a way that has my tongue drier than the Sahara.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” Peeta’s smirk greets me.

I raise an eyebrow. “You have?”

“Yes. I’ve decided that today would make a perfect training day.”

I swallow down my nerves and try to sound confident when I say, “Training day?”

“I’m going to teach you what I like and expect while in the playroom today, Katniss.” My name rolls off of his tongue.

“I haven’t signed the contract yet,” I remind him.

“I am well aware that you haven’t signed the contract yet. I’ve decided that we can go over it tonight during dinner. Step by step until you are one hundred percent comfortable with signing it.”

“Okay,” I agree.

Peeta laces our fingers together and we climb the stairs. We go down the hall until we’re standing just outside of the Red Room of Pain. My stomach is in knots with nerves and excitement. He sticks the key into the lock and slowly turns the knob, drawing out the anticipation.

Peeta leads me directly into the center of the room and positions my body his self so that I stand facing the door.

“Take your shoes, shirt, and pants off.” He commands.

I immediately do what he says. I kick my tennis shoes off and they land by the door. I rip my socks off, and then follow that by unbuttoning my jeans and shimmying out of them. Finally, I toss off my band tee shirt until I’m in nothing but a plain, teal, cotton panty and bra set.

“I know that I tell you this all the time, but I never get tired of looking at your body. Everything about you is a gift.”

“My boobs are too small,” I frown.

“No talking,” Peeta says sternly. “But no they aren’t. Your breasts are exactly the right size.”

To show me Peeta unhooks my bra for me and once it finds a home on the floor, he palms both of my breasts.

“See? You fit perfectly in my hands,” Peeta squeezes them gently before letting go and stepping away from me. “When you enter this room, this is how you’ll be dressed. Nothing but underwear. You will not talk unless I have given you permission. Is that understood?”

“Yes _Sir,_ ” I say seductively.

“Oh Katniss, there you go again with trying to unman me,” Peeta chuckles. “Get down on your knees. Keep your head down. Palms on your thighs. You can lean back on your heals,” Peeta orders and I do exactly what he says.

I don’t dare look up when Peeta retreats from my limited view. I can hear him rummaging through drawers, picking things up, and then putting them down again. He’s humming to himself, I think it’s a made up tune because I don’t recognize it.

“What’s the safe word?”

“Mockingjay,” I say like it’s a reflex.

Peeta’s behind me, I can feel his fingers at the nape of my neck. He’s gathering my hair, which is down for once, and is separating it into three sections. Quickly he braids it down my back, securing it with a magically appearing hair tie.

“I like it when you wear your hair in a braid. It exposes that delicious neck of yours.”

I wonder if Peeta has ever had a problem with girls ever not being wet enough. I have enough moisture seeping down my thighs to fill a swimming pool and the only thing Peeta’s done is braid my hair!

“You did well with the blindfold, I say we try that again.” With that Peeta places what feels to be a satin blindfold over my eyes.

Peeta rounds my body and kisses me softly. I can tell that he's trying to comfort me, trying to ease me into this.

"Okay Katniss," Peeta begins to speak again in a soothing voice. "I'm going to bind your hands with leather cuffs. You won't be able to get out of them like you could with my tie."

The leather is cold around my wrists but I don't say anything. I remember that Peeta told me not to speak unless I'm spoken to, and Peeta hasn't given me permission yet. Once Peeta has secured my hands together he lifts them above my head and hooks the leather cuffs onto something hanging from the ceiling. Then he adjusts the chain above me until I'm just barely on my tip toes. My legs are going to be so sore after this.

I’m so focused on the thought of my legs being sore that I don’t hear Peeta until a sharp slap is stinging my right butt cheek. I yelp out in surprise but am hushed by Peeta as his hands massage where he slapped me.

“How did that feel?” Peeta asks from behind me.

“It wasn’t too bad. I was just surprised. Was that your hand?”

“No. It was a leather paddle.”

“Oh.”

Peeta spanks me two more times before ordering my legs apart. It’s hard to keep my balance on my tip toes while Peeta spanks me over and over again in the same two spots. It hurts, but the pain is going directly to my core. It’s not long until I find myself moaning.

Peeta stops spanking me and I think he’s finished with the paddle all together. I hope that he’ll fuck me now. Suddenly the paddle lands between my thighs, hitting my clit harshly. I come, I don’t care if Peeta has given me permission or not. I’m coming hard and loud; I throw my head back and whine with pleasure.

“So beautiful,” Peeta mutters.

After the shockwave courses through me, I’m wrecked. My body is heavy and I hang limply from the ceiling.

“Oh Katniss, we have to work on your stamina. I still need to fuck you. But I can always fuck you on a bed,” Peeta unclips my wrists and I fall into him.

Peeta picks me up bridal style and slips off my blindfold. I blink a few times to allow my eyes to adjust to light but once my vision comes to, I can see Peeta smiling down at me. It’s not a smile I’ve really seen before. He’s happy, truly and honestly happy. I gave him that happiness. I’d do anything just to see Peeta smile like that all of the time.

The cool sheets are hitting my back and my legs are spread so Peeta can slip between them. I fully expect Peeta to ram into me, _to_ _fuck me hard,_ as he’s so fond of but, he doesn’t. I look up at him to see what's the holdup, only to find him staring down at me with that smile again.

“What?” I ask coyly.

“You’re a goddess, I swear,” Peeta’s hands roam over my collarbones to my breasts and down my stomach to my hips to finally grip my thighs that are pressed against Peeta’s waist. “I’ve been with my share of girls, Katniss, but none of them compare to you. How you’ve remained a virgin for this long baffles me. But I am so lucky that I’ve been the only one that’s had the pleasure to see you naked, to taste you, to _fuck_ you. I don’t think I’ll ever get my fill of you.”

I blush furiously and Peeta seems to have snapped out of his very hearts and flowers filled speech because he snaps his hips and enters me swiftly. I no longer wince or need time to adjust to Peeta’s size. I moan loudly as he fills and stretches me. I arch my back and Peeta hits a spot inside me that makes my insides tingle. The only thing that would make this feeling better would be reaching up and feeling the flexing motion of Peeta’s shoulders, pectorals, and abs under my hands. Hopefully one day that will happen, but for now I keep my hands clutched to the sheets above my head.

“I’m going to cum. Oh my god,” I grit out between my clamped teeth.

The tingling in my spine is starting to spread out as it courses through my veins and I’m gritting my teeth as the pressure builds higher and higher. It’s almost too much as Peeta continues to hit that spot inside me over and over again. Combined with the sheets rubbing up against my sore ass, I’m ready to explode.

“Let go baby.”

It is as if Peeta’s voice was the trigger. I’m pulsing and constricting around Peeta, causing him to let out animalistic growls. He lets go as well. I can’t help but to think how much better it could be if there wasn’t a barrier between us. Only a few more days and there won’t be.

“Fuck,” Peeta pulls out of me, slips off the condom that he had put on sometime between lying me down on the bed and sliding inside of me and disposes of it before flopping down beside me.

I’m almost asleep, curled into Peeta’s side when he speaks again. “Don’t go to sleep. I still need to show you some things.”

I mumble my protests but put on the robe that Peeta tosses me. He’s pulling me out of the door and locking it before I can fully tie the sash around my waist. We’re entering what is my room. Nothing has changed since the last time Peeta showed me the room.

“You’ve already showed me my room.”

“Yes, but I didn’t show you the closet.”

Peeta opens the door to show me a closet with it filled with clothes.

“You went shopping?” I question.

“Actually I had one of my sister’s stylists fill it with things.”

I thumb through some of the outfits and scrunch my face up in dislike. Prim would certainly love this closet, me however, I do not.

“You expect me to wear this stuff all the time?”

“No. I know that you’re more of a jeans and tee shirt type of girl but there will be times where we’ll go somewhere that will require a more formal attire. This will only be for dinners and parties.”

“Okay. Is that all you wanted to show me?”

“No. The next thing is downstairs.”

Down the stairs and through the foyer and past the living area and into the kitchen we go. Peeta opens up a drawer that houses notepads and pens and pulls out a pair of keys.

“If we’re going anywhere, I’m changing.”

Peeta shakes his head no. We’re not going anywhere. “These are yours.”

“Excuse me?” I raise my eyebrows.

“That old clunker of yours isn’t safe. I need you safe.”

“You think that my truck isn’t safe so you bought me a new car?”

“Yes. When I saw you driving it my heart stopped. All I could imagine was you getting into an accident and your head being popped off your neck like a Barbie doll.”

“Let me tell you,” I can feel myself start to anger. “I have gotten in an accident before. Some idiot ran a red light and smashed right into the driver’s side. I was completely fine, not a scratch on me, but the other car got totaled. My truck is a tank. It’ll crush your stupid _new_ car in neutral.”

“Katniss, this car is extremely safe, and it’s not going to break down on you or give you any shit when starting it.”

“I’m not going to take it. You can’t make me.”

“It’s part of the deal.”

“Well then no deal,” I fold my arms over my chest. “The car goes or I do. I’m not going to get rid of my truck that I learned how to drive in just because you don’t like that.”

Peeta looks flabbergasted that I am willing to walk away from all of this just because of a car. I’m not getting rid of my truck though.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that? Fine, keep the damned truck. You’re keeping the car as well. There could be times where you need a vehicle that could go over fifty miles an hour, and when you do, the car is yours.”

“You and your endless money are _ridiculous_.”

Peeta smiles and shakes his head. “I did have plans of going over the contract with you today but I think we need a bit of a break from all of that. Come on, I need to get you clean.”

***

The lavender scented water is silky against my skin due to the oils and lavender sprigs Peeta put into the tub while he filled it with water. He’s behind me; I’m nestled between his legs, my back pressed up against his firm chest. One of Peeta’s hands rubs up and down my side while the other one gets lost in my hair. He’s taken out the braid now, commenting on how much he loves the way is cascades over my shoulders and curl around my peaked nipples.

“Why don’t you let me touch you?” I ask bravely.

“Hm?”

“Touch you, like your chest. Why can’t I touch you?”

“It’s just a rule,” Peeta answers simply.

“A rule that you’re not going to tell me why it was made?”

“No. I’m not going to tell you.”

The only sound that fills the air around us is the sound of the water lapping against our skin and the sides of the large tub. I sit and wonder what could possibly make Peeta like that. It’s got to deal with the scars I spotted on his chest. I want to know what made those scars, but I won’t ask. I know that I won’t get an answer.

“The truck was my Dad’s,” I say quietly. I want Peeta to know that there is an actual reason why I refused his gift. “My dad was going to teach my how to drive in his truck, but he never got the chance to. So Gale did, in that car. It means too much to mean to get rid of it.”

“No one touches me, I don’t like it, and I never have.”

That’s probably the closest thing I’ll get to a personal answer. So I’ll take it. I close my eyes and being to relax. Sex really takes it out of you. Correction, hot, steamy, tie you up and whip you sex, really takes it out of you. I let Peeta wash my body, allowing the motions to loll me to sleep.

My body is pruned and the water is starting to lose heat when Peeta gently shakes me awake. He helps me climb out of the deep tub and wraps a towel around my body before wrapping one around his waist. I’m guided into Peeta’s bedroom and urged to lay down with the towel still wrapped around me.

“Get some sleep, you’re wrecked,” Peeta kisses my forehead.

“Stay with me?”

Peeta doesn’t say anything but climbs in behind me nonetheless. A strong arm is wrapped around my waist and Peeta’s hot breath is tickling my neck. I smile to myself. Peeta doesn’t sleep with anyone, he doesn’t allow people into his bed, but here I am.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I'm terrible at smut. Especially the tie you up and fuck you kind. That isn't my forte. I actually have to do research to know what proper terms to say or what a flogger is, cause idk.


	12. Welcome to the Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously all I ever do now is work and update my tumblr queue from my phone. What is life now? I used to be able to bang out chapters back after back now it's like ages in between. I have one full day off this week (as of right now, I may be conned into working for someone) so I am going to spend that entire day writing the last chapter of All the While. I went back and read bits and pieces and I am cringing, I want to redo that story so bad, that's probably why the last chapter has taken forever.   
> A million and five thanks to the wonderful dandelionlass for beta'ing this!  
> Anyways enough of this author's note.   
> Leave me reviews and tell me what you would like Katniss to do, she's in a pretty tough situation.   
> <3

The sun shining wakes me up the next morning. Peeta is still fast asleep on his back, snoring lightly. We’re both still naked from our bath last night so I get a good look at the upper half of Peeta’s beautifully carved body that isn’t masked by the bed sheet. Speaking of bed sheet, it’s tented around Peeta’s groin region. Curiosity has gotten the best of me so I carefully peel back the sheets and suck in a deep breath when I come face to face with Peeta’s erect penis.

It’s so thick and pink, with a large vein running to the mushroom tip. I’m not quite sure what’s gotten into me but I can’t stop thinking about how wonderful it feels when Peeta’s mouth is on me, and realize that I want to put my mouth on him.

I look back up at Peeta through my fringe, he’s still sleeping peacefully. I go for it. I wrap my hand around Peeta’s shaft and stroke up and down lightly before tentatively putting the tip against my lips.

 _One. Two. Three._ I count to myself before poking out my tongue and tasting the salty tang of Peeta’s skin. Not too bad. I plunge downward until Peeta is touching the back of my throat and then back up while sucking to create a vacuum with my mouth.

“Holy fuck,” he exclaims with his voice still heavy with sleep. I jerk upwards as if I’ve been caught doing something bad when I hear Peeta’s voice.

“I’m sorry,” I stammer.

Peeta grins. “You don’t need to be sorry. That was the best wakeup call I’ve ever gotten. Please feel free to continue, I won’t stop you.”

“Tell me if I’m doing anything wrong.”

“Impossible,” Peeta murmurs and boosts my self-esteem.

I twirl my tongue against the lip of Peeta’s penis making him groan a lovely sound. He flexes his hips, making me take more of him into my mouth. I bob up and down when Peeta’s hands intertwine themselves into my messy bedhead. He’s doing most of the work now. Moving my head as well as his hips he fucks my mouth and makes all of these delicious noises as I continue to suck.

“How far can you go?” Peeta asks.

I wonder that as well, so I press myself further and his tip touches the back of my throat again. Peeta applies light pressure to my head and I go even deeper until I can’t fit anymore into my mouth without gagging.

“Fuck baby, your mouth feels so good.”

I hum in appreciation and Peeta spills out a few cuss words and more praise. I try to rack my brain trying to remember what I’ve overheard some of the girls in my high school and college classes talked about while they give head. I remember someone saying play with the sac, so I cup them with one hand and fondle them a bit. I remember someone else saying don’t be afraid to use a little teeth. But wouldn’t that hurt? I test it out by grazing my bottom teeth along the underside of Peeta and he moans deeply. I guess that girl was right.

“Katniss, I’m going to come soon.”

That’s the point. I keep going, faster and faster. I squeeze his sac firmly and swirl my tongue around the tip before plunging him back into my mouth.

“Fuck,” Peeta grits out and warm liquid coats my tongue and hits the back of my mouth. I don’t think I can swallow at first but I take a deep breath and do it.

Peeta’s looking up at me with dark eyes, like storm clouds, and it’s making my insides quiver. I know exactly what this look entails.

Just when I think Peeta is going to flip me onto my back and fuck me until I turn into a pile of mush he gets up from bed and travels into the closet. He emerges from out of the closet only after a heartbeat with a tie that I’m all too familiar with.

“I don’t keep toys in the bedroom, so we’ll have to revert back to the tie,”Peeta explains to me.

“I like that tie,” I smirk.

“It has become one of my favorites recently.”

I start to lie down and raise my arms over my head so Peeta can tie me up to the bed but he shakes his head no.

“I want you on top. Hands behind your back.”

I immediately comply; sitting up on my knees, facing away from Peeta so he can easily tie my hands together behind my back. Once he’s done, I test the knot. It’s tighter than the first time he tied me up with his tie. I guess Peeta thinks I’m becoming more comfortable with giving up control to him. I am, but that’s only because it’s with him. I feel safe with Peeta, even though he’s probably the last person I should feel safe with.

Peeta slips on a condom before lying back down on the bed. “I can’t wait to stop wearing these fuckers. I want to feel you.”

I don’t tell him it shouldn’t have been his decision, whether or not I go on birth control. Bringing up the topic of how men shouldn’t decide things that deal with women’s bodies will only ruin the mood. Instead I steady myself with my knees while Peeta grips onto my hips and begins lowering me down onto him.

 _Oh wow._ This feels amazing. I love being on top. I lift myself up, it’s hard because I don’t have the help of my hands but I make due. I lower myself back onto Peeta and go even deeper as I grind myself back and forth, creating delicious friction on my clit causing me to squeal.

Peeta hasn’t stopped looking at me. Not once. It’s like he’s trying to paint me in his mind. I should be embarrassed but I’m not. I feel beautiful and confident and powerful. I’ve entranced this Adonis like man, I’ve made him mine. At least for this moment.

My thighs burn but I don’t stop. I urge myself faster and harder as Peeta and I take part in the staring competition. I give when I throw my head back and come. By the sounds Peeta makes he’s found his release as well. I collapse onto Peeta’s chest. I’m exhausted despite just getting a full night’s rest.

Peeta allows me several moments of lying on his chest before he’s pulling at the tie to release my hands and gives me the ability to roll off of him.

“That was another first,” Peeta says once his breath is caught up to him.

“What was?”

“Having someone on top. I’ve never done it that way with one of my subs. Gives them too much control. I normally don’t like it but that was incredible.”

“Maybe I should tie you up next time,” I smirk.

“Maybe I should gag you next time,” Peeta retorts wickedly.

“Hard limit.”

“Can I change your mind?”

I shake my head no. “We need to discuss the contract. There are still things that I’m not sure about.”

“We can go over them today.”

“Right now?”

“No,” Peeta checks the alarm clock on his bedside table. “We’ve actually got to get ready. We’ve got to be somewhere at eleven and I can’t think about butt plugs and spreaders while having brunch with my family.”

“Wait what? We’re having brunch with your family? Like I’m going to be sitting at the same table with your parents?”

“Yes, and my brother and sister as well as their significant others,” Peeta grins.

“So all of the Mellark’s?”

“You say it like that’s a bad thing.”

“Well I’m not really sure what to call myself. I can’t very well go walking up to your parents and say ‘Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Mellark. I’m Katniss Everdeen and I let your son tie me up and fuck me for his own pleasure.’ now can I?”

“I’m not asking you to do that. Your family already thinks I’m your boyfriend, as well as Finnick. I don’t see the harm in telling my parents that we’re together.”

“I do.” I mutter.

“How so?”

“We’re not dating. You’ve made that perfectly clear, and I’m alright with that. But I don’t want to get that fine line muddled up. As soon as it does, it’ll get confusing for us both. Moreover despite me acting tough, I’m not sure I’d be able to handle all of the confusion and hassle.”

Peeta kisses my forehead. “It won’t get muddled. We both know where we stand with each other and if we remain open and trusting it’ll never get to that, I promise. We just have to keep the line open for communication. Now, we don’t have to go to this brunch thing if you don’t want to. I know that I kind of sprung it on you without permission but my mother has found out about you and won’t leave me alone until she meets you,” Peeta explains.

“It’s fine. I’m just nervous. I’m not good with new people,” I confess.

“You’ll do lovely. Now go shower or we’ll miss the entire meal and I think my dad is making his famous cheese buns. Anything in your closet upstairs will be suitable to wear.”

***  

I’m pulling at the skirt of my dress in attempts to make it a tad bit longer when Peeta pulls up to a secluded colonial style house. The white crochet, spaghetti-strapped dress hits me right at mid thigh and the V-neckline shows off a bit of the cleavage that the push-up bra I’m wearing has to offer.  I thought looked classy and a bit whimsical originally is now coming off with a slutty Coachella vibe. I’m glad that I had enough sense to bring a cardigan but that still doesn’t help with the short length of the dress.

“Stop fidgeting,” Peeta demands.

I stop moving for a moment but go right back to trying to pull down the dress without having my breasts be exposed.

“Seriously Katniss, you look fine,” He assures me.

“No I don’t. I look like a harlot. Your brother has already seen me in your bed. He’s going to think I’m some tramp that’s just after your money.”

Peeta lets out a belly laugh and takes the key out of the ignition. “You don’t look like a harlot or a tramp that is after my money. Finnick doesn’t think that nor will the rest of my family will think so. You look beautiful. I can’t wait to get back home, flip the back of that dress up and fuck you in it.”

“Peeta!” I playfully slap his arm. “You can’t say that, especially when I’m about to go meet your parents for the first time,” I chide.

Peeta grins and then climbs out of the car. I watch him round it and open my door then help me out. He twines our hands together as we climb the front steps to the beautiful home that outlooks Puget Sound. Peeta gives my hand a reassuring squeeze before he opens the door and pushes it open.

Just inside the foyer Finnick and a bouncy blonde as waiting for us at the stairs.

“Oh fucking hell,” Peeta mutters. “Katniss these are my overly annoying siblings. Of course you remember Finnick and this is my sister Delly.”

“Nice to see you again Katniss, fully clothed this time,” Finnick smirks.

Heat rises up my neck towards my cheeks and I duck my head in order to hide it.

“Katniss is the first girl that Peeta has introduced; don’t go scaring her off Finnick. Mom and Dad will be pissed if you do,” Delly scolds her oldest brother in girly  voice. “It’s so nice to meet you Katniss. When Finnick told everyone that Peeta had a girlfriend, I didn’t believe him!”

Delly steps forward and hugs me. I’m not used to contact besides Prim and Gale and now Peeta. I hug her back though and shyly mention how nice it is to meet her as well.

Despite all three being adopted the Mellark siblings all have a likeness to them. All three of them stand tall, with their shoulders back and their chins held high. Finnick and Delly smile a lot; it’s the same ear-to-ear smile that I’ve seen on Peeta once or twice.

Finnick is the most different with his bronzed hair and green eyes and tall and lanky build while Peeta and Delly’s hair the same shade of blonde. Delly’s eyes are also blue but are nothing compared to the shocking blue tone of Peeta’s.

“Are you all just going to stand there or are we going to have brunch?” I hear a French accent coming from somewhere deeper in the house.

“That would be Madge. She skipped breakfast once she found out Dad was making cheese buns,” Delly tells us before skipping off towards the voice with Finnick right behind.

Peeta grips onto my hand tighter and leads me down the hall and into the rest of the house. Everyone is in the kitchen, Delly and Finnick, an older couple which I presume to be Peeta’s parents, and two unknown girls, one of them being very pregnant.

“Katniss!” The older man boasts. He bears a strong resemblance to Peeta; the same stocky build with squared shoulders and a strong jawline. His mop of hair is graying but I can tell that in his younger years was the same color and texture as Peeta’s. What is most shocking is that both men share the same eye color, with the same intense and passionate gaze.

“Finnick could only tell us so much, it’s nice to finally meet you,” the older man says.

“Oh for fucks sake, Fin!” Peeta sighs.

“Language!” the older lady rebukes.

“Sorry Mother,” Peeta mumbles. “Katniss, these are my parents Mags and Will. And this is Madge, Delly’s girlfriend. This is Annie, Finnick’s wife.”

Peeta motions with his hand to his parents first and then to a beautiful lady with perfect curves, skin, and blonde hair. Lastly he gestures to the pregnant woman with auburn-brown hair and sea colored eyes.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” I say.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Darling. It’s not every day we’re graced with someone from Peeta’s personal life,” Mrs. Mellark smiles at her son then at me.

“We can all get to know Katniss around the table,” I barely understand what Madge is saying as she hops off the bar stool she was sitting on and saunters into the next room.

Mr. and Mrs. Mellark, or Mags and Will as they want me to call them, begin to ask me simple questions about my family and friends and work life once everyone is settled in around the table. Will does most of the talking. Mags suffered from a minor stroke about a year ago and though she is fully recovered sometimes her speech isn’t all there.

Then it’s my turn to ask the questions.

Will and Mags have been married for forty years and once they found out they couldn’t have kids so they immediately went for adoption deciding to bypass the whole surrogate mother thing. They picked Finnick up from the airport when he was only a month old.  Ten years later the family of three grew to a family of four when the Mellark’s adopted Peeta when he was seven. The Mellark’s adopted Delly only a few months after bringing Peeta home when Delly was only a few days old. The adoption agency had said that Peeta would be a handful and didn’t fit in well with the other kids in his foster home. This proved true for the first few weeks when it was just him and Finnick but as soon as Delly was brought home a switch was flipped on and the problem child the Mellark’s were warned about turned into the son that every family craves.

Finnick and Annie met while attending The University of California on swimming scholarships. Finnick was a bit of a player. Finnick had already slept his way through half of the girls in his co-ed dorm when he met the girl that eventually stole his heart. Annie was--and still--is a very shy individual. Finnick promised to clean up his act if Annie would just go on one date with him. They’ve been together every day since they were eighteen, except for those eight years when Finnick served in the army right after 9/11. Finnick nearly died a dozen times but somehow managed to find his way back to the States and back to his Annie. They married and now are expecting their first son in just two months.

Delly and Madge met while Delly was interning at some fashion internship and needed a tutor to help her with her French. The girls started out as nothing but friends since they were both interested in fashion. Delly is a designer and Madge a model. It wasn’t until one drunken night when Madge confessed her feelings, did their friendship bloom into a full fledged relationship. It caused a lot of media attention in Paris since Madge is the daughter of the Prime Minister. In order to have a more private relationship, after Delly’s internship the girls’ moved back to Washington and are now staying with Mags and Will until they can find a home of their own. Delly now predicts fashion trends for a company called Eight and Madge is a model by night and a French tutor at a few of the high schools by day.

All in all, the Mellark’s are a well-rounded and happy family. Everyone is laughing and poking fun of each other, it’s relaxing. This household is filled with love and happiness while my house is filled with nothing but sadness and memories of people that’ll never come back. It’s hard for me not to be envious of Peeta; his life could have been a whole lot worse. He really lucked out.

Peeta still carries all of those burdens from his past on his shoulders like he’s holding the world.

I excuse myself to the bathroom once I am done with my second helping of waffles, mixed fruits, and cheese buns. I was directed to one that is just up the stairs and to the left. Once I’ve finished using the facilities, I can’t stop myself from peeking into the bedrooms until I enter what I believe is Peeta’s bedroom. It’s a pretty ordinary boy’s room. There’s wrestling trophies on shelves, a neatly made bed in the corner with a blue checkered duvet, a desk with stacks of books, and a bulletin board above it with pictures of Peeta and his family from various stages of his life. There’s another photo. It’s of a young woman with dark wavy hair and piercing blue eyes. I immediately know that this woman is Peeta’s biological mother. I wonder why he has a picture of her along with the rest of his family.

“What are you doing?”

I whip around to see Peeta shutting the door.

“I was uh, just giving myself a tour,” I admit.

“Really? I think you’re just snooping.”

“Maybe if you weren’t such a private person I wouldn’t have to be,” I retort back as I cross my arms over my chest.

Peeta smirks and suddenly my body is being pressed up against his by his two strong hands. “I’m not sure if I like that tone,” he says.

“Better get used to it,” I say boldly.

“Oh Katniss, you have no idea how badly I want to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours right now but I think I want to spank that cute behind first.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” I warn him. “Your family is right downstairs. I will not have any sort of sex or foreplay while under their roof.”

“You’re saying no to me?” Peeta asks with a bit of shock on his face. He actually wanted to spank me!

“You bet I am.”

Peeta sighs and eventually relents and lets me go but not before pressing his lips against my forehead.

“Finnick and Annie have to leave soon, I thought it would be a good time to make our departure as well. We still have things we need to discuss,” Peeta reminds me.

Everyone hugs me goodbye as Peeta and I walk out the door. Delly has even managed to get my number we can formulate plans for lunch in the near future. I give the best smile I can manage as he puts the car into reverse and backs out of his parent’s driveway.

***

“So,” Peeta says after we get onto the main highway. “Are you up to reviewing the contract or not?”

“It needs to be done,” I sigh.

“Agreed.”

“Can we go somewhere public to talk about it though? I don’t think I’ll be able to concentrate knowing the Red Room of Pain is only a couple feet away,” I confess.

Peeta smirks but doesn’t say anything. He does however signal to get off at the next exit. After driving past downtown skyscrapers we parallel park right in front of the glass and concrete building that is Mellark Enterprises.

“What are we doing here?” I wonder aloud.

“You said that you wanted to be someplace public.”

“But it’s Sunday, nobody is going to be here.”

“There are always workers lurking about.”

“But…” I trail off. Peeta is taking my hand and leading me into the building before I even know how to finish my sentence. There is a janitor buffing the marble floor that Peeta waves to.

We’re inside the elevator going all the way to the top when I see Peeta looking at me from the corner of my eye.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“I can’t help it,” Peeta makes a move to kiss me but I bob my head and Peeta’s lips land on my cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles against me then backs away completely.

Meredith is sitting behind the desk typing away at the computer when the elevator doors open. Meredith looks up and smiles. “Good evening Mr. Mellark.”

“Hello Meredith. Ms. Everdeen and I have a business meeting, please no interruptions.”

“Certainly Sir,” she nods then goes right back to typing.

Once the mahogany doors are closed,  Peeta drops my hand and strides to a locked cabinet. Inside he produces a small stack of papers and goes to set them on the large table.

“Take a seat Katniss, let’s begin.” He instructs.

Peeta takes a seat at the head of the table and I chose my spot at the other end. My action does not go unnoticed. I cannot be close to Peeta right now. If I am to go over this contract and form my own decision I have to keep a clear head.

I look over the copy of the contract Peeta slides down the table. It’s the same one I have stuffed under my bed at home. Everything is there; the when to eat, how to eat, how to shave, what clothing is appropriate, ropes and whips and chains, gag balls, spreaders, and even anal fisting.

“I won’t do anything anal, you can cross that out right now.” I tell him.

“Don’t knock it till you try it.”

“Have you tried it?” I counter.

“Once or twice,” He reveals.

“With another man?”

“No, I’ve only been with women. I was a submissive before I was a dominate.”

“Oh,” I swallow loudly. “Still, I’m not a fan of the whole idea.”

“How about we make it a no for now but revisit it once you’ve had some experience in some other things?”

I nod my head, that’ll be alright. I’ll just say no then too. Peeta proceeds and crosses the clean shaven bit out since he likes the way I am now. I tell Peeta that he won’t have a problem with me eating but  I will not have a set schedule and a list of food that I can choose from. I’ll eat when I want and what I want and whenever I damn well please. Same goes for exercise. I like to go hiking. Now that it’s warming up outside I’ll be able to do that more regularly. Hiking will  be the only form of exercise, besides sex, that I’ll take part in.

“No to all the fisting, the gags, wax and shocking,” I say at the end of everything.

“How about no to the fisting, wax and shocking and the gag will be a hard limit,” He presses the gag limit.

“I want to be able to say the safe word whenever I feel that it’s needed. If I have a gag in my mouth I won’t be able to. If you’re doing anything that I’m not a hundred percent okay with I say no to being gagged, if I am comfortable with what we’re doing then we can talk about it before hand,” I compromise.

“That sounds reasonable.”

“Thank you for your cooperation,” I smile.

“I want to fuck you now. Actually I think I’m going to.”

My thighs automatically press together. Whether it is to relieve some of the pressure that has been steadily building all day or it’s that I don’t want Peeta in between them I’m not sure. Probably a little bit of both since I feel myself becoming more and more responsive. And yet I still don’t think being in contact with Peeta is the best idea right now.

“No,” I say hoarsely.

“You don’t mean it. Your body is begging me to fuck you.”

“How do you know?”

“The way your legs are pressed tightly together, the change in your breathing and the way you’re blushing right now. Those are all signs that you are desperately seeking to be bent over this table and fucked properly.”

I steady my breathing, damn him. “We are not fucking right now.”

“You are saying no to me again?” Peeta looks surprised and a bit disappointed.

“Yes. I need time to think all of this over before I sign it.”

“Katniss—“ Peeta begins before I cut him off.

“No. All of this is completely new to me and we are going to do this then I need to be comfortable. In order for me to do that I need a day or two away from you so you won’t cloud my judgement and make me do something that I will possibly regret.”

“You won’t regret this,” He promises me.

“I hope you’re right. I think that we should go now.”

Peeta isn’t able to hide his sadness completely. I didn’t know that he would be this affected by me saying no. I’m glad that he didn’t force me into doing anything however.

We drive in silence back to his house in the sky where Peeta kisses my cheek at my truck.

“When will you give me your answer?”

“Wednesday night.”

“I’ll pick you up from your house at seven. We’ll either have a celebratory dinner or a farewell one; it is all up to you.”

“Goodbye.”

“Why do I get the feeling that that isn’t a good goodbye?”

“Are any goodbyes really ever good?”

“I guess not.”

Peeta helps me into my truck and waves me off as I turn out of the parking garage. Peeta’s right, that goodbye didn’t feel like a good one.


	13. Misery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally didn't even have this chapter planned out but I thought it would have been too much of a drastic jump from the last chapter and the next one. Besides who doesn't love basically a smut filled chapter? I'm trying to get away from the smut in every single chapter just so it won't get repetitive. But I listened to Misery by Maroon 5 while writing this.   
> I have so many plot bunnies running around in my head and in my notes on my phone. But I promised myself that I would finish this story before starting another because as soon as I start another one every other story goes to complete shit. I've got plot bunnies for different fandoms as well and I'm terrified of writing them so tell me if any of you would be interested in a Game of Thrones fic, an Ed Sheeran, or a Stydia one from teen wolf. I'm trying to get back into my Josh Hutcherson fic that has been at a stalemate for like a year.   
> Thank you all so much for those who have reviewed and rated and subscribed and bookmarked and whatnot. I get every single email and when I read them I light up. It means the world to me, honestly.   
> Thanks again to the amazing dandionlass for being a rockstar beta.   
> Check me out on tumblr at itsmorrgan. I like to fan girl about cute boys named josh, ed, and dylan, and I obsessively reblog anything game of thrones, orphan black and thg, duh.

Seneca Crane looks over at me with a smile. We are just starting working on the ‘secret project’ today and he’s already giving me weird vibes. Johanna warned me about him being kind of perverted when I first started working my job, but I figured with a beard like that how serious can Seneca Crane actually be. Turns out his odd advances don’t come off as funny or quirky but creepy, just like Johanna said.

I choose to ignore him though. This project has the possibility to open many doors and windows for me and I’m not going to let one person’s various use of pick-up linesstand in the way of anything. Besides for the majority of this project I’ll be working alone or with a couple of the tech people that have volunteered their hours to help me get it done.

“So Katniss, do you have a special someone to go home to?” Seneca asks after the record holding ten minutes of silence.

“It’s complicated.”

“Complicated? Do tell.”

No, I do not want to tell. “Everyone thinks that we’re dating but we haven’t made it official yet.”

“Is he afraid of commitment? If I was him, I’d make sure everyone knew that you were mine.”

“He’s not afraid of commitment; it’s mostly me I guess.”

“You’re not in to him as much as he’s in to you?”

“No,” I shake my head. I don’t want to talk about this. I just want to go back to trying to extract the poisons from this damn berry. “He just comes from a completely different world and I’m not used to it.”

“What’s his name?”

“Peeta Mellark.”

“The Peeta Mellark of Mellark Enterprises? The man who is made of money, probably wipes his ass with hundred dollar bills. You’re dating him?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I didn’t peg you as being attracted to pretentious assholes that think they can just wave money around and get whatever they want.”

“He doesn’t do that. He’s worked extremely hard for the money he’s earned.”

Seneca put his hands up in defeat. “Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.”

“Yeah, okay,” I roll my eyes. I shouldn’t act like this to my superiors but he can’t just go around and belittle people he doesn’t actually know. “It’s my lunch break. I’ll pick this back up when I’m done.”

I walk out of the room before Seneca has another chance to make himself seem like an even bigger douchebag. Johanna should already be there since we’ve taken a habit of eating lunch together. I take the short trip to the break room—a large room filled with tables and chairs with a kitchenette along the far wall. Johanna is perched on her usual chairat our usual table by the window that outlooks a field.

“What took you so long Brainless?” Johanna asks me with a mouth full of ham and cheese sandwich.

“Mr. Crane wanted to talk about my personal life. More importantly who I go home to at night.”

“Gross. He does that to all the new female employees. Tried it with me once but I told him that I have a fetish of peeling off dudes skin while fucking them in the ass with my dildo named Clyde. He won’t even look at me now,” Johanna says casually.

“He might believe that you do that but who would believe me if I said that? Anyways he got all worked up and defensive when I told him Peeta’s name.”

“Of course he would. Peeta is the wealthiest guy in all of Washington, maybe even the west coast, or even all of America. It doesn’t help that he’s also the hottest guy known to man. You bruised poor Seneca Crane’s ego.”

“He made it seem like he knew him though.”

“Maybe,” Johanna shrugs. “Crane is pretty high up in the business and this is an influential corporation. I wouldn’t be surprised if their paths have crossed in one way or another.”

This time I shrug and begin to unwrap my own sandwich. All of this talk about Peeta is making me miss him. Not that I wasn’t before, just even more intensely now. I haven’t seen him since Sunday evening and now it’s Tuesday morning. I’ve been strong so far. I haven’t picked up my phone once to send him a call or text or even an email though I’ve thought about it only about a dozen times a minute. If I really want to take this seriously, I need to hold out one more day.  Just one more day to clear my head and get out of the fog that is Peeta Mellark and I’ll be able to find the answer I am looking for. Either yes I am willing to sign that contract and enter a BDSM relationship or no and walk away from something that I’ll never be able to get again. If only I could walk between the two. Not sign the contract and still be able to be with Peeta. But that’s grounds for a relationship and I already know that Peeta and I are not ready for that.

***

I curl my feet up and under my legs as I worm my way further into the couch. I’m not sure whose idea it was to watch a scary movie but I hate them for it. I look around to see if anyone else is affected by it. Prim seems to be a little afraid. She’s clutching onto Rory’s shoulder who is sitting on the floor below her with his head propped up against her thigh. Rory is chuckling, he enjoys these types of bullshit movies and Gale seems totally unaffected. The Hawthorne boys are assholes.

I’m momentarily preoccupied from the jump scares on the TV when my phone buzzes. Peeta’s name is flashing on the screen and my heart stops. It’s not Wednesday night yet. I still have twenty-four hours. I get up from the couch anyways and head for the stairs. I answer Peeta’s call on the last ring once I open and close my bedroom door.

“Hello?”

“Say yes.”

I don’t get a hello first or even a how are you doing. Just a demand and that annoys me.

“I’ve missed you too,” I say sarcastically getting ready to just hang up.

“I mean it Katniss. You’re driving me insane. I haven’t been able to get any work done. I can’t get any work done with this fucking hard on that I can’t get rid of. I’ve jacked off more in the last two days than I ever did in my teenaged years.”

I laugh as I think about Peeta lying in bed in the middle of night pumping his hand up and down trying to come only for him not to be fully satisfied. The thought makes me feel powerful, like I’ve got some sort of magical over Peeta. Then the feeling between my legs that I’ve done so well at ignoring hits me with full force.

“Please tell me it’s not just me. Please tell me that you’ve been thinking about me too,” Peeta practically pleas.

“I’ve been trying really hard not to.”

“Have you touched yourself at all?” Peeta’s voice takes a turn of the heady.

“No,” I croak out.

“Have you wanted to?”

“Yes.”

God yes. So many times yes. Not so much on Monday, since I wouldn’t allow myself to even have the slightest inkling of thought about Peeta Mellark, but today yes. During lunch with Johanna, on the way home from work, while picking out what movie to watch with Prim, Rory, and Gale. _Now._

“What are you wearing?”

“Peeta!” I scold. “Prim, Rory, and Gale are here.”

“I don’t give a fuck. The Queen of England could be sitting right next to you and I’m still going to try to get you off.”

“What if they here?”

“You’ll just have to be extra quiet. Now, lay in bed,” Peeta orders me and I immediately listen. “Describe to me what you’re wearing.”

“It’s nothing sexy,” I grumble.

“Katniss you could be wearing a potato sack and I’d still think you’re sexy. Are you going to question every order I give to you?”

“No _Sir._ ”

“Good. What are you wearing?” Peeta asks me again.

I lay back down on my pillow with my cell phone pressed against my cheek with one hand and my other hand twirling the fabric of my tee shirt. “Uh, an old high school archery team shirt and tattered sweat pants.”

“And your undergarments?”

“Plain nude color boy shorts. I’m not wearing a bra.”

Peeta sighs heavily and I hear rustling over the phone. “What hand are you holding your phone with?”

“My right.”

“Okay, take your left hand and trail your fingers up your sides lightly. Close your eyes and pretend that it’s me. I’m leaning over you, drinking the sight of you in. Do you feel me baby? I’m so hard against your thigh. There’s nothing I want more than to shove my cock into your tight, wet cunt. I’m not going to though, I’m going to wait and appreciate your body first. Do you feel me Katniss?”

My eyes are closed as I trail my fingers over my sides towards my hips and back up. “Uh-huh,” I mumble into the phone. I can feel the weight of Peeta’s body on top of mine. I can feel him breathing heavy against my neck as he rocks his hips back and forth against my core.

“Move your shirt up so your breasts are exposed. Pinch your nipples,” Peeta tells me so I do. “Harder. Pinch them like I would. I want to hear you whimper from the pain. Doesn’t that feel good?”

I pinch one of my nipples just like Peeta would. Hard and unforgiving, applying pressure with my pointer finger and thumb as I twist and turn until I’m gasping out, _“Fuck, yes.”_ I wiggle my hips trying to find friction. Hoping that Peeta will magically appear and send me soaring with his fingers and tongue and cock. “Please Peeta,” I pant.

“If I was there I’d tie you up to your bed and bury my tongue so far up you, giving you orgasm after orgasm until you’re in pain and on the brink of passing out from exhaustion. You taste so fucking good. Touch yourself outside of your panties. Are you wet for me baby?”

“Yes,” my panties are so soaked that they are ruined.

“Slide your panties to the side now, feel how wet I’m getting you, slide your fingers up and down your slit until they are drenched,” I coat my fingers with my juices until they are sticky. “Now suck on them. Pretend your dainty fingers are my thick ones. Pretend you’re cleaning yourself off of my cock.”

I do what Peeta says and pop my fingers into my mouth and twirl my tongue around them as if I was sucking his cock.

“Do you taste good?” Peeta asks me.

“Not as good as you,” I say back.

“You’ll be able to taste me tomorrow. I’m fucking you tomorrow regardless of your decision. It’ll either be a victory fuck or a good bye one; I just need you once more either way.”

I can’t think about tomorrow or my decision. I should be pissed that Peeta is even talking to me right now. I should be pissed that he just called it a victory fuck. I wanted time away from him, from all of this. We only got through one day without giving in. But I’m not pissed off at all, I just need him.

“I want you Peeta. I want your hands on me.”

“Pretend like I’m there. Touch yourself the way that I would. Spread your legs and flick your clit back and forth. Faster until you’re just about to come then slow down. Alternate between simulating your clit and fingering yourself. Keep doing that until I tell you to stop.”

I let out a breathy moan as the pad of my finger swipes over the bundle of nerves gently. It’s already hard and engorged with blood making it sensitive and easy to find that dizzying feeling. I wait until I can feel that powerful feeling all over my body to stop and calm down before dipping my fingers inside of me. It’s the first time I’ve really explored this area of my body so it takes a few tries to find that one spot that Peeta always grazes over with his well trimmed fingernails and get the hang of it. I build myself higher and my moans and sighs and mewls become increasingly louder that I have to turn my bed into the pillow so the party below won’t be able to hear me.

“I’m so fucking hard Katniss. I keep thinking about your mouth on me and I get even harder. I could probably cut diamonds right now.”

I let out a girlish giggle. “I’m so close Peeta. I can’t hold on much longer. My legs are shaking.”

“Hold on just a few more seconds for me baby.”

I hold on as I squirm and pant and continue to torture myself because it feels so good and if I press just a little harder I can pretend that it’s Peeta’s fingers touching me instead of my own.

“Fuck, I’m there. Let go baby. Come with me.”

I swipe my fingers across my clit just a hair faster and it’s like a volcano is going off inside my body. My legs lock up on me and my muscles start to spasm as I gasp for air. I’m vaguely aware of Peeta coming as well. I listen in on his animalistic growls and his manly grunts.

We’re silent for several long minutes as we listen to each catch our breath.

“Fucking hell Katniss,” Peeta starts, startling me from my post orgasm haze. “Can’t you see how well we are together? We’ve managed to come harder during phone sex than many people do when their partners are right beside them. Please don’t walk away from me just because this is something you’re not entirely comfortable with. We’ll go slow and I’ll teach you that not all relationships like this have to be abusive or controlling. You have all of the power; the ball is always be in your court.”

“I have to go Peeta, I don’t want anyone to come looking for me.”

“Dammit Katniss,” Peeta sighs.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at seven, okay?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Peeta hangs up before I can tell him goodbye. I guess he didn’t want to hear another one. I huff and pull myself from bed, quickly fixing my shirt and pulling off my drenched panties and replace them with clean ones before pulling my sweatpants back on. I stop by the bathroom on my way downstairs to clean myself. My cheeks are flushed and my braid is frizzed from thrashing my head about.

The movie just started to roll credits when my feet hit the bottom step.

“Who called?” Prim asked as she stretched out onto the couch.

“Peeta,” I tell her. “He wanted to know if I had any preferences for tomorrow’s date.” 

“I’m sure that’s all they talked about,” Gale smirks.

I roll my eyes and ignore him. It would have been best if that was the only thing we talked about. But it’s not.

***

The doorbell rings at a half past six. I wasn’t expecting Peeta to be early, I’m not even dressed. I’ve got an old maroon sweater on and even older tattered shorts and some mix-matched socks. I panic before opening the door and trying my best to look calm. 

“I wasn’t expecting you for thirty more minutes.”

“I didn’t feel like waiting. Get shoes on.”

I shove my feet into the only pair of shoes by the door which happens to be my worn out boots. Peeta’s already at the car once I lock the front door. He’s impatient and moody today. He does open the car door for me though which I’m surprised that he does given the piss poor mood that he’s currently in. 

We don’t talk for most of the ride to wherever we’re going. I watch as Peeta flexes and relaxes his knuckles as he grips tighter onto the steering wheel and gear shift. I want him to stop being so tense so as subtly as possible I slide further down my seat causing my already short shorts to ride up. He seems to notice more of my olive skin becoming exposed and breathes out a heavy sigh and tightens his grip even tighter. That’s not the reaction I wanted from him.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“My place,” he mutters.

“I thought we were having dinner first.”

“Well I decided to have my dessert first, if you don’t mind,” Peeta bites out.

“Oh,” I whisper.

“Yeah, oh. I’m going to fuck you Katniss. I’ll probably fuck you in the elevator then in the foyer then once more against the wall in the hallway before finally devouring you on my bed. Do you have any objections?”

“No.”

It’s not like my objections would matter anyways. Peeta has tonight already worked out in his head the way he wants it to go and who am I to go and ruin all of his plans?

And he was right. As soon as the doors of the elevator close Peeta is on me, attacking my lips with such intent as he roughly squeezes my breasts. We don’t have time to have sex in the elevator before it’s chiming to let us know that we’ve reached his floor. That doesn’t stop Peeta though. He picks me up and wraps my legs around his middle so we can spill out into the foyer together.

He sets me down right in front of a table that holds a decorative vase and pushes me to turn around. Peeta’s not big on words at the moment, just grunts and physically moving me. He’s gotten my shorts down to my knees before I’m being bent over and I feel him positioning himself for a second then ramming into me.

I cry out from the mix of pain and pleasure. Then realize that there isn’t a condom protecting us.

“Peeta stop!” I push myself up to a standing position. Peeta slows down up doesn’t pull out of me. “We need a condom.”

“We’re fine; your birth control should already be in your system according to the good doctor.”

“Oh. A warning would have been nice,” I grumble as Peeta slides back into me.

Peeta grumbles something back to me but it’s quickly forgotten when Peeta arches his hip slightly and the tip of him grazes along the sweet top deep inside me and I give off a soft mewl that encourages Peeta to drive into harder.

I’ve only just come when Peeta immediately follows suit. I feel him shooting into me, the pair of us combining together. Peeta groans as he slides out of me and turns me around. We kiss and it’s the first one where I don’t feel the urgency. It comes back however and Peeta is once again overpowering my mouth as he keeps good on his word, picks me up again and fucks me against the wall in the hallway that leads to his bedroom.

We both come again but Peeta hasn’t softened a bit as we tumble into his bedroom. He stands over me as I lay in the middle of his large bed. Peeta strokes himself slowly, a lazy smile forming on his lips.

“I’m conflicted Katniss. I’m not sure whether or not to fuck you again or taste that delicious cunt of yours or shove my cock down your throat.”

 I immediately make up Peeta’s mind for him by sitting up and opening my mouth suggestively. Peeta looks like he’s about to come right here, his hand stilled on his penis and his eyes staring down at me. He guides himself into my mouth slowly and I hollow my cheeks to suck him deeper and deeper into my mouth.

My mouth doesn’t have time to grow tired before Peeta is pulling out of me and pushing me back down onto the bed. “Hands above your head,” he commands as he once again plows into me.

The room fills with sounds of panting and squeals and grunts and sweaty skin slapping against sweaty skin and the suction of Peeta’s mouth on my breasts.

“I’m coming!” I pant wildly as I free fall for the third time.

I let Peeta manipulate my body as he rolls me onto my side to rest. If Peeta is planning on going out to dinner tonight I’m going to need at least a thirty minute nap.

***

I wake up sometime later to Peeta sitting on a chair next to the bed typing away on his laptop. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and wait for him to notice me. Peeta’s eyebrows are knit together in either confusion or frustration. Probably a bit of both if not more of the later than the former, he’s always a little more frustrated than anything else.

“What are you working on?”

I’ve startled Peeta as he quickly snaps his head up to look at me. “Just some projects,” Peeta sighs and shuts his laptop. “We’ve got dinner reservations at eight-thirty.”

“What time is it now?” I ask.

“Almost eight.”

“Okay. I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes.”

I only spend about three minutes in the shower, only taking the time to wash off the leftover sex from our wild romp session. I could have been ready in ten minutes but I know that I’ll need that five extra minutes to decide what to wear. I finally decide on a black skirt that is long with two slits up the sides. The material is sheer so the shorter slip underneath is visible. I pair it with a black and white horizontally striped crop top that hits right where the skirt begins. It’s simple enough for me to be comfortable in it but fancy enough to not feel out of place wherever we’re going if I pair my outfit with nice jewelry and shoes.

“Ready?” Peeta asks and I nod my head.

The whole ride is tense and uncomfortable. I’d much rather continue having my brains fucked out of me than endure this ten minute car ride with an on edge Peeta Mellark. I keep my mouth shut because one, I don’t know what to say and two, if I did say anything I’m sure I’d say the wrong thing and make this whole thing even worse.

The place we’re going to is often referred to as _The Met_ and I could only ever dream of coming here. The valet takes the keys from Peeta and bids us a good dinner as Peeta takes me by the waist and guides me through the glass and golden doors. We’re seated immediately despite the long line and the irritated looks from the waiting patrons. I’m almost positive that even if we didn’t have reservations that we’d still be seated right away due to the way the host is extra attentive like she knows just how wealthy Peeta is. The manager comes over before we’ve even looked at the menu to say hello to Peeta and tell him not to hesitate if there is anything he needed. It must be nice to have people rushing to your feet but it also must be a nuisance. A double edged sword if you will.

Our server comes over with a bottle of red wine that I cannot pronounce due to all the symbols over each vowel. He takes his time pouring a small amount in Peeta a glass first, allowing Peeta to sample it before he fills Peeta’s glass fully and mine as well. “Are you wanting the usual or would you like a moment to go over the menu?” He asks.

“Katniss?” Peeta finally acknowledges me.

“Uh,” I stutter. “Give me a minute please?”

“Certainly Ma’am,” the young man walks away.

I skim the menu and choke as I see all of the prices. Ninety dollars for a damn appetizer, albeit a seafood sampler but it still better come with gold flakes and diamond dust sprinkled on top for me to feel good about spending that amount of money even it is on food.

“The lamb is fabulous here, that is what I normally get. Finnick is partial to the porterhouse and Delly loves the prawn scampi as well as the vegetable stack, she normally gets both whenever we come here.”

“Everything is so expensive,” I mutter. Even the plate of roasted vegetables is twenty dollars.

“Katniss don’t worry about the price of things. Some people would think it’s insulting.”

I don’t say anything to Peeta. I simply look up to him with an annoyed glare and bite my tongue. I’m not meaning to be insulting, it’s just that I’m not used to being around people that spend this type of money on a regular basis.

I sigh and close my menu. “Did you decide what you want?” Peeta asks.

“I’ll trust your taste buds and go with the lamb. I’ve never had it before.”

“It’s delicious and it pairs excellently with the wine selection.”

As if by magic the server is at our table again, completely attentive to Peeta’s requests. I have a feeling that he’ll slack off on his other tables just to pay extra special care to us in hopes of a bigger tip.

“So,” I begin once our orders are in and the first glass of wine is gone.

“How has your week gone?” Peeta asks obviously desperately trying to avoid the conversation that brought us here.

“Alright,” I shrug. “I think my manager hit on me yesterday. He wasn’t too happy when I brought your name up. Seneca Crane, do you know him?”

I watch as Peeta quickly tries to rack his brain. “The name sounds familiar.”

I nod. You’d remember Seneca Crane if you met him, with a name like his and his well-illustrated beard, he’s a hard one to forget.

The conversation lulls until a large rack of lamb on a cart arrives at our table. It’s cut in front of us by the chef. Peeta was right. This is the most delicious thing I’ve ever put into my mouth. I nearly moan as soon as the herby crust hits my tastebuds.

“Save room for the bananas foster, it’s almost as good as the lamb,” Peeta smiles.

Peeta’s right yet again. The bananas sautéed in butter, brown sugar, and two types of rum with custardy vanilla bean ice cream melting around it is just as heavenly as the lamb. I’m going to be sick from eating too much but at this moment it’s all just too good not to stop eating.

“Okay, I’ve prolonged this long enough. What type of dinner was this?” Peeta finally asks.

Despite everything I just consumed, I suddenly feel empty. “Peeta,” I start but quickly lose all nerve.

“This isn’t the dinner that I want it to be is it?” The look on Peeta’s face makes me want to jump over the small table and kiss him.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just I’m afraid. I cannot sign that contract now. This is still so new and scary. I know you said that we’d go at a pace that I’m comfortable with but I can’t. This relationship is based off of trust and I don’t trust easy, I’m terrified. ”

I look up to see Peeta grinning from ear to ear.

“What?” I question.

“Nothing, I’m just really, _really_ happy right now. I’m not sure if you noticed but I thought for sure that this would be the last night we’d spend together. We’ll build up trust until you are one hundred percent comfortable with signing the contract. We can pretend that you have signed the contract for all intents and purposes that way we  know each others boundaries.”

“So I don’t have to sign?”

Peeta shakes his head twice. “No, but we have to be open with each other. You need to tell me what you are and are not comfortable with until you’ve signed.”

“I can do that.”

“Good. Will you stay with me tonight?”

“I can’t tonight. But maybe Friday, then you can come to Prim’s graduation party with me? She’s been asking about you.”

“I’d love to come. I actually got her something.”

“You already got her that internship. Anything else would be too much Peeta.”

“I’ve already gotten it. It would be a waste not to give it to her now. Besides she’s a good kid, she deserves this.”

I roll my eyes.

“I saw that Ms. Everdeen. You’re lucky that you’re not coming home with me or that ass would be mine.”

“Maybe I’ll roll my eyes for you on Friday and you can have it then.”

Peeta makes a groan. “You’re going to unman me, Katniss Everdeen. One day you’ll have my balls on a platter.”

“I like your balls too much where they are now to go and cut them off.”

Peeta’s eyes flutter shut momentarily. “Come, I’m taking you come before I decide to take you in the bathroom. I quite like this place and hate to be kicked out because I cannot control my teenaged urges because of your sweet mouth.”

Peeta drops me off at my house but not before kissing me aggressively, making me wish that we were going to his place instead. Peeta promises to talk to me tomorrow about what time to pick me up even though I can tell him that I can drive on my own. With one more kiss Peeta walks me to the front door, waving at Prim when she peeks through the window and leaves with just a whisper of a promise to see me on Friday.


	14. Santa Claus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it's been almost a month since I've updated thought that maybe it was time to post this. I've actually got the next chapter done and it just needs to be edited and tweaked a bit so you won't have to wait for another month. The road is starting to get bumpy!!  
> Come say hello and ask me questions on tumblr, I changed my URL and I'm now @ bakerboymellark. I'm much more likely to answer questions and concerns on there than I am on here. Though I do read everyone's comments via my e-mail I always forget to reply.  
> As always thank you to dandelionlass for betaing. Go follow her on tumblr and check out some of her fan fics as well!!

Peeta had an unexpected mishap at work on Friday. He still pleaded that I be there when he got home, which he assured wouldn’t be any later than ten. It was nearly two in the morning when I felt the other side of his bed dip down as he climbed in next to me, he kissesmy temple and slides me across the so  my back against his front. I was quite surprised that he didn’t wake me fully with more kisses. He had been adamant in his phone call to me earlier in the day that he when he finally gets home, he wants to bury his face between my legs.

That is exactly how I woke up. Peeta’s lips are planted firmly around my clit as he sucks and dive his tongue in and out of me to get the full taste of me. He shows no sign of relenting anytime soon even after I’ve come.

“Peeta—I can’t,” I pant as I try to squirm away from his iron like grasp. “I’m too sensitive.”

Peeta mumbles something against me and the vibrations of his voice against my clit sends me over the edge one final time. Peeta finally comes into view, panting and out of breath, with his chin and nose wet.

“Jesus Kat, you’re gorgeous,” Peeta leans forward to place a kiss on my lips.

His erection presses against my leg and I’m torn between wanting Peeta to slide into me or wanting to curl up and go back to sleep. Peeta decides for me though. I watch curiously as he rolls off of the bed and begins to head towards the bathroom.

A wave of rejection washes over me. “Where are you going?”

“I’ve got to head back into the office for a bit this morning.”

“Oh. Are you going to make it to Prim’s party?”

“Of course. I’ll only be an hour or two. I should be there in time to help finish the set up.”

“Okay,” I smile up at him.

***

“Why did you invite Mellark?” Gale asks through gritted teeth as we straighten out the last of the table cloths.

“Why did you invite Mason?” I retort.

Gale rolls his eyes and looks at me. “I don’t like that guy Katnip. Something about him is off. He’s almost thirty-three. What is he doing with a girl ten years younger than him? He should be married and have kids by now. Did you know that there was speculation that he was gay? He has never been photographed or linked to another woman before you. Something just doesn’t add up.”

“So there must be something wrong with him because he picked me as his first relationship to go public with?” I question sarcastically. “I mean why else would a good looking billionaire want to be seen with a poor, fresh-out-of-college, ugly, naïve girl? You’re totally right, something about Peeta is off.”

“Fuck, Katniss. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just I don’t like the guy. I don’t know why but I don’t. I have a gut instinct that he’s going to hurt you.”

“Well right now, you’re the only one hurting me,” I stomp off in the opposite direction.

I order Rory to start helping Gale so I can spend some time with Prim. Now that school is over for the both of us, we barely see each other. Either I’m at work or with Peeta and Prim’s with her friends or enjoying the last seconds of summer before being catapulted into adulthood.

By the time our mother gets off work the community center where we are holding Prim’s graduation party is nearly all set up; the baby picturesplaying on the projector are on a constant loop, the tables are covered in cloths which coordinate with the centerpiece a of helium-filled balloons, and he little memoir that is to be signed by all of the guests is sitting beside the door along with some of the pictures Gale shot of Prim for her senior pictures. The only thing that needs to be done is pick up the food and the cake which Peeta was unwavering  on wanting to get them.

“What time should Peeta be here?” my mother asks me.

“Soon,” I say back. “There was some big mishap at the office last night and he didn’t get in until after midnight. He went back this morning to make sure it was all smoothed out. He said that he’d be here before we were finished setting everything up.”

“And it looks like I’m a little late,” I whip around to see Peeta walking in through the doors with a giant cake in his hands. It’s not the cake that I ordered; I ordered a simple sheet cake with ‘ _Congratulations Prim!_ ’ written on it. This cake is a three-tiered cake that is draped in white fondant, purple accents, an edible stethoscope and a doctors’ lab coat, with the words ‘ _Congrats Future Dr. Primrose Everdeen’_ written in beautiful cursive that I’ve seen before.

“Peeta Mellark,” I start but I’m cut off by Prim screeching.

“Did you make this?” she asks and Peeta nods.

“Oh my gosh, it’s so cool. Thank you!” Prim wraps her arms around Peeta’s middle and I can see him tense up for a moment before gently hugging her back.

“You’re very welcome, Primrose. Do you and Rory mind getting the rest of the food out of my car?”

Peeta tosses Prim the keys and waits for her to scamper off with Rory in tow before he turns his attention back towards me.

“Hello,” Peeta attempts to kiss mebut I turn my head away and his lips find my cheek. “What?”

“You know what. Was there even a mishap at work or were you working on the ridiculously over the top cake I can’t afford?”

Peeta sighs. “I don’t want to have this discussion in front of prying ears.”

I notice Gale watching us from across the room. By the way he’s standing it looks like he’s ready to intervene at the first possible chance. I take Peeta by the hand and guide him back past the kitchen and through the hall where the bathrooms are. I open the girls’ room and usher Peeta inside.

I lock the door before I begin speaking again. “Peeta, you know how I feel about you spending money frivolously on me.”

“It wasn’t on you. It was for Prim. You saw her face, she was so excited. You can’t possibly tell me that you’re upset after seeing her face light up like that.”

“Yeah I’m glad that she’s excited but you can’t keep doing this.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so.”

Peeta smirks and saunters towards me, backing me up against the door. “Do you want to change that answer?”

“No,” I croak out.

“Oh Katniss, I think we need to have a little lesson.”

Peeta doesn’t give me time to respond before he’s crashing his lips down onto mine. The dominating kiss only last for a second before he’s trailing his mouth down my throat and working on inching up my top simultaneously. Once my top has made it past my bra Peeta flips the cups down so that my breasts are pushed and further up. He’s onto my jeans next, not wasting anytime. Once the jeans and my panties are around my thighs and preventing much movement, Peeta twirls me around the room so I’m facing the mirror.

I can see my red cheeks and mussed up hair and taut nipples. I see Peeta unzipping his zipper and extracting himself from the confines of his pants.

“We’re going to do this fast and you will not come. This is your punishment to trying to tell me what I can and cannot do with the money I’ve worked hard for. What is the safeword?”

“Mockingjay,” I whisper.

Peeta rams into me and I start to cry out but Peeta latches his hand over my mouth. He yanks my head back to rest on his shoulder. “Do not make a sound. Though I’d love for your friend Gale to hear what you sound like when you’re being fucked, I’m not sure if I want your mother or sister hearing how wonderful you sound.”

I clamp my mouth shut behind Peeta’s hand, gritting my teeth together as the feeling intensifies. I’m going to come. I don’t know how to stop it. It feels too good and Peeta isn’t helping by continually hitting all the right places. I squeeze my eyes shut and my knuckles whiten as I grip the bathroom countertop even harder.

“Open your eyes. I want you to see what I see while I’m fucking you. You’re glorious.”

I open my eyes to see Peeta staring back at me. He’s wrapped a bunch of hair around his fist to keep me in place and I can here every little moan and grunt as it passes by my ear. I’m trussed up by my clothing and it’s the hottest thing I’ve seen. I come immediately and Peeta follows suit.

After I’ve come off my high I remember that I wasn’t supposed to come. I look up at Peeta, scared of what he’s going to do. I didn’t follow his orders, I was bad.

“I’m not going to ask you to come home with me Katniss, You will be coming home with me. Understood?”

I nod my head.

“Good. Now clean yourself up while I give Prim her graduation gift.”

Peeta unlocks the door and strolls out before I can even pick myself up off of the counter. My legs feel like jello but I push myself to clean myself up like instructed and fix my outfit. I smooth out my hair and take a few deep breaths before joining Peeta.

I find him talking to my mother seemingly unaffected by what just occurred. He’s got a cup of punch in one hand and his other hand is casually in his pocket. I roll my eyes openly, how much more trouble can I be in?

“So how was the sex?” my heart stops as I hear Johanna speak up behind me.

“Excuse me?” I try to say normally.

“I saw Peeta come out of the woman’s restroom just a few minutes before you did. Your shirt is wrinkled a bit and you’ve got a sheen of sweat on your forehead. How was it?”

“I didn’t—“

“Hey,” Johanna puts her hands up. “I’m not judging. I’m a little envious actually. What I wouldn’t do for Gale to take me up against the bathroom stall. If you ever feel like doing a little swinging, give me a call.”

“Johanna!” I scold because I honestly don’t know what else to say.

Johanna shrugs and simply skips off to join Gale in his conversation with one of Prim’s friend.

***

The party was a success. Lots of people came and everyone enjoyed the cake and sandwiches from Mellark’s Bakery. There is barely anything left over and the memoir is completely filled with names and well wishes. Prim’s happy and her happiness is all that matters to me.

“Hey Little Duck, I’m going to head out with Peeta, is that alright?”

“Yeah, sure. Peeta got me another graduation gift; do you know what it is?”

“I have no idea. It could be a pony and I wouldn’t be the least bit phased.”

Prim giggles. “I like him Katniss. Not just because he got me the internship with Dr. Aurelius or made me a delicious cake or supplied this party with more food than I’ve had in my entire life. He makes you happy and I really like that.”

“I like that too.”

Peeta and I help clean up a little before Peeta gives me a look with his smoldering eyes that tells me it’s time to leave. Prim offers to drive my car back to the house so I can ride with Peeta, which I wasn’t for because I need a moment to myself before the punishment begins but things don’t work out my way.

Peeta can barely keep both hands on the wheel during the drive back to his place. He’s cursed my jeans multiple times as he runs his hand up and down my thigh. I think about taking them off for him but consider the possibility of getting in an accident or pulled over and I don’t want to have to answer the question of why I didn’t have any pants on if those scenarios were to happen. So I keep my pants zipped and buttoned.

Peeta’s thrown the car into park and has his lips on my neck when my phone rings from inside my purse. He tells me to ignore it but I in turn ignore him. I push Peeta back onto the driver’s seat as I check the caller ID; it’s Prim.

“Hello?” I answer, getting an annoyed glare from Peeta. “He got you what? Yeah, I know that’s exciting. I can’t wait either,” I grit out as I listen to my little sister screech over the phone. “I’m with Peeta now so I’ll tell him. Love you, bye.”

 I hang up the phone and get out of the car. I don’t wait for Peeta as I head towards the elevators. He just makes it inside before the elevator is taking up upwards. I can feel him getting closer to me, about to draw me into his web.

“Do not even think about it, Mister. I am pissed at you.”

“Why?” Peeta says all too sweetly.

“You bought Prim tickets to Hawaii,” I spit out.

“No, I rented a house for Prim, and yourself, in Hawaii. I didn’t need to buy plane tickets.”

“And why is that?”

“I have a company airplane,” Peeta says as if every company has a freaking airplane.

I throw my hands up in the air and leave the elevator. “Of fucking course you do.”

I notice Haymitch and Effie eating something at the bar in the kitchen. They have their eyes trained on the both of up.

“Take it you’re not too keen on the Boy’s gift to your sister,” Haymitch says but immediately shut his mouth when Peeta glares at him. “I think there was something wrong with one of the computers in my office, Effie can you help me with it?”

The pair of them not so subtly exits the main living space so Peeta and I can continue our fight.

“You can’t keep buying me or Prim or anyone else things. It’s not fair.”

“Why isn’t it fair?”

“Because I can’t repay you.”

“I don’t want you to repay me. Katniss, I’ve worked extremely hard to have this life. It’s rude to tell me how to spend my money.”

“I’m not telling you how to spend it; I’m just asking you not to spend it on me.”

“It comes with the territory Katniss. You can’t stop me from buying you or anyone else things. Get used to it.”

“I can’t.”

Peeta runs his fingers through his mussy hair. “It’s in the contract.”

“I didn’t sign the contract.”

“I know,” Peeta bites. “But you agreed to follow the rules of the contract until you signed it.”

I roll my eyes, not caring if it’s against Peeta’s precious rules, and walk away.

“Where are you going?” he calls after me as I ascend up the stairs.

“I’m going to your stupid playroom. Are you going to come fuck me or not?”

***

We fuck our frustrations out of each other. Peeta ties me up one way, fucks me until I’m no longer able to stand on my own, unties me, then ties me up in another position just to fuck me again. I deliberately defy him which causes him a great deal of annoyance. I think my ass will have a permanent red mark in the shape of his hand. We continue this destructive pattern until we’ve exhausted ourselves and lay in a heap of worn out bones and flesh on the floor of the Red Room of Pain.

“I should have talked about Hawaii with you first. I honestly thought you’d love it since you and Prim had wanted to take this trip for a while.”

“I do love it Peeta. It’s extremely thoughtful. I’m just not used to all of this money, it’s a hard adjustment. I know how hard you work and you shouldn’t have me trying to tell you what to spend it on. It’s just that I’m not in it for your money.”

“I know you aren’t. That’s one of the many reasons why I’m drawn to you. I could lose all of my money tomorrow and you’d still let me tie you up and fuck you.”

I smile at his choice of words. “Please don’t buy anything else for Prim without talking to me about it. I don’t want her to get comfortable with you showering her with anything she wants.”

“Why not? Prim is a good girl that is really driven. She should be pampered every once in a while, as well as her bullheaded sister.”

“I don’t want her to get attached to you. You’ve got her the internship and now you’re making this childhood dream come true. You’re like Santa, only Santa isn’t going to last forever. So when you’ve finally had your fill of me, those gifts are going to stop and you’ll just disappear. Prim gets attached to people too easily and falls too hard. I’ve already seen her go through the loss of our father. I don’t want to see her go through the loss of another important male role model.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right,” Peeta pulls himself away from me. “I wasn’t thinking about the long term affects. I’m sorry.”

We don’t stay in the room for much longer. Peeta only likes being in The Red Room of Pain for one reason and after we’re done fucking he likes to lock the door and walk away, almost as if he’s trying to forget that it exists.

It’s awkward during dinner and awkward as we shower for bed together. When we get out I’m not sure whether to crawl into his bed or head upstairs. Again, Peeta decides for me, telling me to lie down in his bed while he heads back into his office to get some work done. I want nothing more than to go back inside the bubble that we’ve created for ourselves. A bubble where we forget that this relationship has an expiration date, where Peeta doesn’t have control or trust issues, where I’m not terrified of giving the reins to someone else for a while. I’ve popped that bubble though by reminding Peeta of our imminent demise.

Peeta comes to bed sometime later, pulling me into him so our bodies can fit together like puzzle pieces as usual. He nuzzles into my neck, offering me a small kiss before I let his even breathing lull me back to sleep. Maybe we can build a new bubble tomorrow?


	15. Aloha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So good news for me but maybe not good new for all of you, I got another job to juggle on top of the two other jobs I have already. This whole financial aid is going to be based off of my parents income even though they aren't helping me at all is going to be the main reason I work myself into a grave. I'm twenty-one years old and has to have three jobs in order to pay for college in order to 'make it' in this wonderful country we call America. I'm not too happy right now.  
> I do have the next chapter half way written so it'll be out hopefully at the end of this month. But just sit tight and come talk to me on tumblr @ bakerboymellark.  
> I refuse to go on a hiatus because everlark smut is my only escape.  
> But anyways, tell me what you think of this chapter. We're going to be heading into the emotions territory so buckle up now.  
> Big thanks to dandelionlass for being my beta. She rocks. You can go check out all of her stuff on tumblr, ff, and on here under the same name.

Peeta and I have gotten back to our normal selves after the conversation we had on the playroom floor. We have developed a routine that I am in no rush to leave. However the day that Prim and I leave for our vacation is quickly approaching and instead of being excited about it, I can’t help to feel a bit of dread. I try to tell myself that it’s because of work. I don’t like the idea of leaving after just starting a new project that is deemed extremely important. Seneca has assured me that it would be alright for a little week of rest and relaxation. It’s not that though. It’s the idea of leaving the life I created so quickly around Peeta. It’s only for a week sure, but a lot can happen in a week.

“Call me when you land alright?” Peeta personally drops off Prim and I off at the private airport early in the morning.

I nod my head and steal a kiss before Prim looks our way. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” Peeta nuzzles my nose with his own. He’s being oddly affectionate. “Make sure Katniss doesn’t get eaten by a sharkor fall into a volcanoor something,” Peeta calls to Prim.

Prim holds up both of her thumbs, waves and then starts up the steps to the door in the side of Peeta’s jet.

“Someone is eager to leave,” I sigh.

“You should probably get going before I decide to fuck you in the back of my car,” Peeta whispers suggestively in my ear.

“Maybe when I get back?”

“Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep, Ms. Everdeen.”

I kiss Peeta goodbye one last time and make my way onto the plane, making sure I wave him goodbye.

The plane’s interior is ridiculous to say the least. There are four black leather chairs that face a mahogany table and a plush sectional that is facing towards a large flat screen TV that mounts to the wall. There’s a bathroom in the hallway that leads to the back of the plane and is closed off for privacy. A bed is in the center of that room along with a little mahogany table and another set of two chairs.

“Does Peeta travel a lot?” Prim asks from behind me. She’s already scoped the plane out, I can tell from the ruffled bedspread.

“I’m not sure. I don’t think so. He has a lot of international Skype calls with some of his companies overseas though.”

“Maybe the next time he does travel, we can go with him.”

I roll my eyes. I’m not inviting myself and certainly not Prim to any of Peeta’s business meetings. That is way out of our territory.

The flight attendant asks us to find a seat and buckle in so we can begin take off. It’ll take just under six hours to arrive on Big Island, if the conditions are right, and according to the captain they are. Prim and I start out on opposite sides of the table. After the captain tells us the it is safe to get up and walk around the flight attendant comes out of her little room next to the cockpit entrance with a tray filled with mine and Prim’s favorite breakfast food. It all happen to be freshly baked and delivered from Mellark’s Bakery.

Once we’ve stuffed ourselves with nutty breads and mimosas—I allowed Prim a glass or two since this is a big mark in both of our lives—we retired to the sofa and turned on the television where Peeta had Gilmore Girls queued up and waiting on us. It’s these small things that he does that makes it hard for me to believe that he doesn’t do hearts and flowers like he said before.

I’ve dozed off somewhere between the third and fourth episode before Prim is gently shaking me awake. “Katniss, we’re about to land. We need to put our seat belts back on.”

Once we’re belted and the piolet gets the okay to land, we start to circle the small private airport and decrease in speed. I hate this part. I’ve only been on a plane one other time, but I remember the distinct feeling of my organs staying twenty thousand feet in the air while the rest of my body makes its descent onto solid ground. My ears pop and my knuckles grow even whiter. I hear Prim giggling and feel her shaking her head at me through shut eyes. I automatically hate her for not being affected by anything.

The air is different in Hawaii. It smells of rain, the saltywater, and fresh flowers. It smells nothing like what Yankee Candle or Bath and Bodyworks would label as a beach holiday. This is a fresher, lighter and cleanersmell. An older man is waiting for us by an even older model VW Jetta. He’s holding two leis in his left hand, his right one is missing; the arm ends at a stump before his elbow.

“Aloha!” the man calls to us.

“Aloha!” Prim smiles at him.

“My name is Chaff; I’ll be taking care of you girls while you’re here.”

Chaff, I learn, is an old army friend of Haymitch’s from the old days. Unlike Haymitch, Chaff is friendly and talkative. He shares a few stories of what it was like to be young and on the battlefield with a once sprightly and charming blond. Chaff also shares how he lost his arm. It wasn’t in the war like many think, it was a shark attack. He was being dumb and thought he was invincible and went surfing at dusk. You’re not supposed to, everyone knows that. Shark attacks are more likely to happen then. And well Chaff was wasn’t landing any successful waves so he was just hanging out on his surfboard, splashing his hands against the still water. The shark thought he was an injured animal and went in to investigate. Bit his arm straight off on the first bite. Chaff thought that the shark would go in for the kill as he was paddling desperately with legs and one arm to shore but the shark never did. He’d lost a lot of blood by the time he managed to crawl to shore, it was a miracle that some girl was taking a late night drive right past the very beach Chaff was at and heard him screaming. He married that girl named Seeder just months after his arm fully healed. They had three kids together, all of them are now fully grown and have lives and children of their own now.

The house that Chaff pulls up to has to be the wrong house. It’s absolutely ridiculous for just two people. All we needed was a one bedroom bungalow really, not some beachside mansion.

“Will you be staying with us?” I ask as Chaff opens the car door for me.

“No ma’am. My house is further inland but my phone number in on the kitchen counter for when you need a ride into townor would like a boat ride to catch your dinner. My wife and I will be by in the mornings to make breakfast and to stock up the fridge. If there is anything you will be needing feel free to leave a list and I’ll get them for you the next time I go to the store. Would you like me to carry your bags upstairs?”

“No thank you. I think we can manage.”

“Alright then Ms. Everdeen, I’ll be seeing you in the morning.”

I wave Chaff off from the front porch while Prim all but kicks down the door and runs inside. I can hear the girlish squeals and excited laughter coming from her as she runs from room to room. Prim calls to me that she’s going upstairs and I can hear her bounding up the steps before I can no longer hear her from my spot on the porch.

I peak at some of the rooms as I make my way towards the stairs. The kitchen is massivebut the living room is even bigger. It has a floor to ceiling glass wall that can be opened to the outdoor living space. I can see the pool and the hot tuband even the private beach and pier with a boat tied to it.

“Katniss!” Prim shouts from above me.

I find her in what I assume to be the master bath, literally inside the bathtub.

“I can lie down all the way in here!”

I immediately stop seeing Prim as the young adult that she is and instead as the small child I want her to continue to be. Her long blonde hair is no longer in voluminous curls down her back, she doesn’t have make-up on, nor is she wearing too short of shorts. Instead Prim’s hair is in two pigtail braids, with specks of dirt smudged on her nose and clothing from a hard day’s worth of playing outside.

“Kat, you okay?” Prim asks me. She’s no longer lying down in the tub.

“Yeah, I just can’t get over how big this place is. Peeta is ridiculous for thinking that the house of this size is actually appropriate for just the two of us.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t the house size he was going afterbut the location. It has its own beach and isn’t far from hiking trails in the jungle and volcanoes. We’ve got a boat and I saw a small plane at the airport to make day trips to the other islands.”

“That is true. Are you claiming this room as yours?”

“No. You can have this room. I took the room with the best view of the ocean. This room has a view of the mountains, thought you’d like that better.”

“You thought right.”

***

Prim has me up before the sun has a chance to make an appearance. With a thermos full of hot coffee and a plate of tropical fruits and croissants, we head out to the beach to watch the sunrise. The sun’s rays paint the sky and cloud with strokes of pinks and oranges and blues and every possible mix of colors between them. I can’t help but think of Peeta and wonder if he’d be able to recreate this for me in a painting. Maybe I’ll send him a picture of it tomorrow.

Prim has already made an itinerary for us that fills up the entire day. We’re having Chaff drive us through the Crater Rim Driver.  Would have liked to backpack but it’s a 10.6 mile trek between all of the sites and Prim is convinced that we won’t have enough time to see everything she wants to see if we walk everywhere. So I let her win this one time.

 We decide on stopping at all nine stops. We start at the Kilauea Visitor Center where we’ll watch a short video about the volcanoes and how to be safe on all of the trails. The Jagger Museum lookout Prim buys a magnet for our mother. At the fourth stop we get to smell the sulfur that seeps up through the steam vents in the ground. The sulfur gases turns the clay a reddish brown color and makes Prim wrinkle her nose. The lava tubes are cool. It’s a cave-like tunnel which was carved out by the hot lava that flowed through it. The tube filters out into a luscious rainforest that houses brightly colored birds. The devastation trail is exactly what it sounds like; the trail winds through a piece of land that has been wiped clean of everything. We head to the Keanakāko‘i Crater last. You can see the evidence of the eruption from 1982. Seeing something so big makes me feel small. It makes the world feel even bigger. Prim doesn’t seem phased as much as me as she continues to snap pictures of everything that excites her.

I carve out time to call Peeta the next morning before breakfast. I hope I’m not interrupting a business meeting or something just as important. Peeta answers on the first ring.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmurs to me without saying hello first.

“It’s only been a day.”

“A day too long. I’ve grown accustomed to you hogging up my bed. I couldn’t sleep without your cold feet pressed against my leg.”

“I had trouble sleeping too. Are you busy right now?”

“I’m just discussing my upcoming work week with Meredith. I’m thinking of taking an early lunch.”

“I haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

“Is Chaff treating you well?”

I tell him about how he drove us around yesterday and gave his own bits of knowledge that he’s accumulated over the years. Then how when we got back to the house his wife had prepared dinner for us and invited us to a luau at the end of the week.

“I’ve got to go baby,” Peeta says finally after having a brief conversation with someone who knocked on his office door. “I’ll see you soon okay?”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

It’s later that night when Prim crawls into bed with me and I start to break down. I feel stupid and weak for letting Peeta wrap himself around me and control me like this. I pride myself on being strong and independent. How have I let Peeta get my like this?

“You love him,” Prim tells me.

“I don’t love him,” I counter.

“Have you told Peeta yet?”

“No,” I grumble. “And I’m not going to.”

“Why not?” Prim whispers, inching closer to me until our foreheads touch.

“He doesn’t love me back.”

Prim laughs and I swat her arm. “I’m sorry but are we talking about the same Peeta? That man is completely in love with you. Probably him more than you.”

“But Peeta told me—“ I cut myself off in fear that I’ll say something that I’m not supposed to say.

“What did he tell you?”

I sigh. I’ve already put my foot in my mouth. “He doesn’t do relationships.”

“But he’s in one now.”

“I know, but he isn’t one to wear his emotions or his heart on his sleeve.”

“And neither are you.”

“He doesn’t love people easily, Prim. He’s had a shit past and it’s hard for him now.”

“Looks like you found a way to break through that unloving exterior. He loves you Katniss, and you love him. Just tell him,” Prim makes things seem so easy but I know that it’s not.

“Hopefully I’ll have the courage to tell him in a week.”

***

Prim surprisingly wants to spend the day by the house. After the volcano tour the first time then swimming over the reefs yesterday, Prim just wants to bask by the sun by the pool or on our beach. I don’t mind one bit.

I don on one of the bikini’s Peeta bought me. It’s skimpier than something that I would buy myself but more modest than some of the swimwear that was in my drawer back home. The top is orange with two pieces of triangle cloth that is connected with orange string. The bottom is similar; a front and a back that scarcely cover both of my cheeks are tied together with string at my hips. I wouldn’t go surfing in this bikini but it’ll suit my needs for minimal tan lines.

It’s around noon when I hear a noise from the house. At first I dismiss it as Chaff or even Seeder coming in and delivering groceries but then more sounds start to appear and I hear a voice that is impossible to mistake.

“Damn Brainless, you got a bitching body.”

I shoot up from my lounge chair by the pool to see Johanna. Rory and Peeta are beside her and Gale is standing behind them.

“What are you doing here?” I ask confused.

“Prim called me last night,” Peeta starts to explain. “She wanted to thank me then came up with the idea of me coming down here for a little bit. I didn’t think it would be fair for it to be just me so I extended the invitation.”

Prim is already throwing her arms around Peeta then quicklycasts him to the side to hug Rory before dragging him off towards the beach to show him the view. Johanna and Gale go put their bags in a room of their own, leaving Peeta and I to ourselves.

I watch as he saunters over. Peeta looks just as good in shorts and sandals as he does in his business attire.

“Hi,” he mutters against my lips.

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Believe it, Baby.”

Peeta kisses me again but all too soon relents at the sounds of Prim and Rory returning from the beach.

“Is Haymitch or Effie with you?” I question.

“Haymitch is, though he is on vacation himself. He’s visiting with Chaff and Seeder.”

Rory and Prim approach us hand in hand swinging their arms back and forth slightly. I feel a twinge of jealousy because Peeta would never show me that type of puppy dog affection. But then in the back of my head I hear Prim’s voice telling me that Peeta does actually love me,I just need to get it out of him.

“I’m going to show Rory a little more of the island. Want to join us?” Prim asks Peeta more than me.

“I have to unpack and shower still, but thank you for asking.”

Prim shrugs. “Okay, be ready for dinner tonight. Katniss and I wanted to have dinner at this little restaurant by the water that a fisherman we met yesterday recommended to us.”

“It’s a date. We’ll tell Johanna and Gale to be ready too.”

Once Prim leaves with Rory in tow, Peeta takes the advantage to kiss me like he’s clearly been wanting to.

“Shower with me?” Peeta whispers in my ear suggestively.

“But Johanna and Gale—“ Peeta cuts me off.

“Johanna and Gale are most likely fucking like rabbits this very moment. I’d like to be doing the same. I’ve missed my girlfriend.”

“You’re girlfriend?” I quirk my eyebrow.

“For all intents and purposes,” Peeta kisses down my neck. “Now do I need to fuck you out here or will you shower with me?”

***

My back is arched against the rock wall of the shower with one leg extended out against the glass door and the other struggling to maintain a steady spot on the floor. Peeta’s teeth and tongue clash along the column of my throat as he enters me again and again.

“I’ve missed your cunt,” Peeta grunts.

“It’s only been like two days.” I remind him.

“Two days too long. I need you every day. You’re my own special kind of heroin.”

“Maybe you should go to reha—ahh!” I start to joke before Peeta reaches down to flick his finger across my clit.

“I’ll relapse every time. I will never be able to get my fix of you.”

I moan loudly. The water hitting our bodies and the surfaces around us is enough to drown out most of my noises but Gale and Johanna probably heard that one. I’m far too gone to care if my best friend hears me having sex with the one person I love.

“Are you close?” Peeta asks harshly as if he’s trying to hold himself back.

“Uh-huh. Go a bit harder,” I encourage.

“Harder I can do, baby.”

Peeta does go harder and faster. He bends so his mouth is parallel to my breasts and showers them with nips and kisses until I’m squirming and barely able to remember to keep my hands above my head.

“That’s it Katniss,” Peeta slows just fractionally as my orgasm peaks.

Peeta lets out his own beautiful noises as I feel him releasing into me.

Peeta looks at me with a face I don’t recognize. It’s a mix of fear, longing, and something I can’t quite place.

“What?” I ask him.

Peeta shakes his head, turns off the water and steps out of the shower.

“What?” I repeat.

“Nothing,” Peeta brushes me off as he squirts toothpaste on his toothbrush.

I roll my eyes.

“I saw that.”

“Yeah well I’m not going to let you tie me up and spank me while you’re here, so punishment is going to have to wait,” I say bitterly.

Peeta sighs but doesn’t say anything after that. He leaves me to get dressed on my own. As soon as he’s done getting ready he heads downstairs to wait for everyone else. I didn’t mean to be snippy at Peeta and I’m sure he didn’t mean to get frustrated with me. I’ve just got all of these emotions that I’m not used to dealing with. And I have a feeling that this will continue until I finally tell Peeta the truth. I love him and I want more than just the stupid contract. Hopefully Prim is right and he wants the same thing.

***

Maybe I had one too many frozen drinks or maybe it was the shoes that Prim talked me into wearing, but whatever it was I ended up landing flat on my ass on the way back to the car, hurting my ankle. Peeta being the overprotective non-boyfriend that he is was convinced that I should see a doctor. Thankfully for me, Chaff determined that wouldn’t be necessary. All I needed to do was elevate and ice my ankle for a day and I should be good as new.

Peeta got me into bed, undressed and redressed me, propped my foot up on a mountain of pillows and set a bag of frozen peas directly on the top of my ankle so the bag can cover both sides. He looks irritated which causes me to be irritated in return.

“I’m sorry I hurt my ankle,” I say sarcastically.

“Well if you would have slowed down on the drinks like I told you to, this wouldn’t have happened,” Peeta says as he begins to shed his own clothes.

“Excuse me for wanting to relax a little bit on my vacation. And in case you’ve forgotten, you don’t own me, so I don’t have to listen to your every demand twenty-four-fucking-seven.”

“How can I forget that mistake when you keep reminding me?”

“Mistake?” I scoff. “So now I’m a mistake to you?”

“You are not the mistake. The mistake was letting you enter my life without the fucking contract signed.”

“Maybe I should exit your life then?”

Peeta halts with his fingers still tucked in the waistband of his boxers and looks over at me. There is a mix of horror and realization on his face. He’s normally so good at keeping his emotions in check but somehow tonight they’ve all gotten away.

“What?” Peeta gasps out.

“I can only change and conform so much Peeta. Eventually the girl that had you so intrigued is going to end up looking like all the rest of them and I don’t want that. I don’t want to be just some notch on your bedpost.”

Peeta runs his hands through his hair then hastily pulls his clothes back on. “Go to sleep. I’ve got some work that needs to be done.”

He’s out the door before I have a chance to protest. It’s probably all of the liquor in mebut part of me wants to shout at him to leavebut the other, much quieterpart of me wants Peeta to come back and hold me and promise to never let me go.

***

I wake up with two white pills, a bottle of water, and a note on the nightstand. I take the pills and drink all of the water before looking at the note. Somehow I already know what it’s going to say.

Everyone is already up and eating breakfast out on the patio. Everyone but Peeta.

“Hey sleepy head. Where’s Peeta?” Prim asks once she’s noticed that I’m alone.

“Peeta got a call last night from work. Some big deal that he’s been working on is on the verge of falling throughso he headed back to Seattle early this morning. He apologizes to everyone and to make up for it has booked us a deep sea fishing excursion,” I recite the note that was on my nightstand.

Gale, Rory, and Johanna nod their head in agreement but Prim looks at me with sad eyes. I don’t know if she heard our fight last night and if she did I’m not sure I want to talk to her about it. SoI stuff my mouth full of fruit to avoid conversation. I’ve always been good at avoiding conversations.

The rest of the week flew by in a trance. The fishing excursion was a success. Gale and Johanna made a competition out of it to see who could catch the most fish. Johanna won and now she’ll get to pick what they watch on TV for a month.  The trip out to the waterfalls was nice. And the luau was a lot of fun. The only thing that would have made it better was if Peeta would have stayed. But I get to see him today. He called and said that he was picking me up from the airport, instead of having Haymitch drive me back like I thought would happen.

The plane ride is quiet. Most everyone is asleep or too tired to do much of anything. I’ve perched myself in the corner of the sectional, overthinking what it will be like to be around Peeta again. When he up and left me in the middle of the night it wasn’t on good terms and we’ve barely spoken. One time when I called his cell phone Meredith answered and said that he was too busy to talk to me right now. I was furious but I kindly thanked her and asked if Peeta would call me back once he got the chance. He only got a chance for a thirty second conversation before he quickly hung up again. Prim has picked up on my uneasiness, but every time she tries to bring it up I always shoot her questions down.

The plane lands around three in Seattle. When I exit the plane I expect to see Peeta waiting for me but instead and not completely surprising it’s Haymitch who’s standing next to one of Peeta’s SUVs to take us all home. We make eye contact and I know he knows what I’m thinking but all I get is a small head shake as he opens the door for me and I climb into the back.

It’s not until I’ve made my way up the passenger seatafter everyone else got dropped off that Haymitch acknowledges the elephant in the room.

“The boy was busy. He says he’s—“

“Sorry, I know. He’s always sorry. You know what? Turn around, I don’t feel like being with him tonight. I want to go home.”

“No can do, Sweetheart. Peeta’s got somewhere to be tonight and you’re his date. So knock it off with the scowl and at least try to be a little likeable.”

I scowl even harder as Haymitch pushes harder on the gas. There is no arguing with the man. I’m not the one that signs his paychecks at the end of the day. Why should he listen to me? All I can do is sit back, listen to oldies music that is playing through the speakers, and hope for the best.


	16. Dress Me Up, Strip Me Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! Thank you all so much for the positive feedback, it means the world to me!!  
> Come hang out with me on tumblr @ bakerboymellark it's a shitshow of fandoms.  
> Thanks again to the wonderful dandelionlass for being an awesome beta. I wouldn't be able to catch a third of my mistakes without you.

I’ve been at Peeta’s house for nearly an hour and a half and have yet to see him. Haymitch escorted me up to the penthouse where Effie whisked me up to my room upstairs. A lady with deep purple hair and a man that is clearly fighting aging with Botox are waiting for me at the vanity with an array of make-up scattered over the wood top. Effie introduces them as Octavia and Flavius.

The ‘prep team’ has me buffed and polished, plastered with make-upand my hair is done in an elegant up do by the time that Venia and Cinna arrive. Cinna isn’t like the other three that talkexcitedly about the gala that I’ll be attending with one of the hottest men in Seattle. Cinna simplykeeps quiet and offers me a kind smile whenever our eyes meet in the mirror.

Once Cinna has dismissed his teamhe unveils the dress that’s been hanging in its bag. It’s a gorgeous, sleek orange dress that I have no doubt will make my boyish curves seem feminine. The dress has small capped sleeves that only serve to help keep the dress up as it is missing the back. The back dips so low that it rests only an inch or so above my butt.

“It’s beautiful. Did Peeta pick this out?” I ask.

Cinna shakes his no.

“Unless it is a suit, Peeta has no sense of fashion. Delly and my wife picked this out. All Peeta requested was that you be wearing orange," he replies.

“Well it’s beautiful.”

“Thank you. It’s one of my own designs. No one else will be wearing one of my pieces.”

“I’m honored.”

There is a knock on the door that interrupts Cinna and my conversation. Peeta opens the door before I have a chance to tell anyone that it’s alright to come in. I’m still mad at himbut that doesn’t stop me from giving him a once over. He’s gorgeous--obviously--with his classic black tux and white button-up. His bowtie matches the color of my dress perfectly. I wonder if Peeta got his tie to match my dress specifically or if it’s one he already had.

“My sister was right Cinna, you have an amazing eye,” Peeta compliments. 

“Delly is too kind but thank you. Howevermy job is a lot easier when the person wearing my design is as stunning as Katniss.”

“You must have a tough job seeing as no one is as stunning as Katniss, not even close.”

I blush and dip my chin at Cinna and Peeta’s compliments. I don’t look up until the door opens and closes again signaling that Cinna probably left so Peeta can ogle me in peace. Cinna leaving also gives me the chance to speak to Peeta before we leave. I didn’t think I’d be able to do that with how Peeta’s been avoiding me.

Peeta pulls something out of his pants pocket and gives it to me before I can even get a word in.

“Put these on," he instructs as I pull the fabric out of the box.

It’s underwear. I look at him quizzically then realize that this isn’t the run of the mill lacy panties; these are vibrating. Peeta looks serious so I don’t argue as I slip out of the underwear I was wearing and put this pair in its place. The vibrator sits right against my clit and I can’t help but to feel a bit of thrill despite how angry I still am with Peeta.

“Why didn’t you pick me up from the airport, another crisis at work?” I ask bitterly once I’ve fixed the skirt of my dress.

“I’m so—“

I cut Peeta off, “I know you’re sorry. Still doesn’t make me feel any less shitty about it. You know how humiliating it is for me to tell my friends that your business means more to you than your fake girlfriend or that you can’t even stay on a damn vacation with her for a full twenty-four hours? Or how hurtful it was for me for me to wake up in the morning with nothing but a fucking note? I know I’m nothing more than a fuck toy to you Peeta but I still am a human being.”

“You’re not a—“

I cut him off once again, “I’m not a fuck toy, you’re right,” I say sarcastically.

Peeta backs me up onto vanity, grabbing both of my wrists and holds them off to my sides.

“This is your warning. Do not interrupt me again," he snaps in a hushed tone. "I am sorry that I left and I am sorry that I wasn’t there to pick you up like I said I would. I got you something to make up for it though.”

Peeta pulls out a velvet box from the pocket inside of his tuxedo jacket. Once he opens it I see a gaudy necklace on a plush cushion. It’s large and unnecessary with too many diamonds and gems. It’s not something I would wear or even stop to look at walking down the streets.

“You can’t buy my forgiveness. Especially with something like that,” I brush past him and stalk out the door.

Haymitch is waiting for us in the hallway. He’s smiling when he sees me and his smile grows even larger as I scowl at him and larger still when he spots Peeta’s pissed off stare behind me.

“Trouble in paradise still?” Haymitch prods.

“Shut up Haymitch,” Peeta and I say in unison.

The car ride is tense. Between the sour moods of Peeta, Haymitch and myself I’m not sure if I can take being at some stuffy place with I’m sure a hundred of Peeta’s gorgeouswhite-collared employees.

We pull up to a large building that I would call a convention center though Peeta probably has a fancier name for it. Haymitch gets out and opens the door for Peeta and myself. For a fleeting second I think I catch him giving me a look of encouragement but it’s gone the moment I look at back at him. It was probably just my desperate imagination. Peeta wraps his arm around my waist as I keep my hands locked together in front of me. Maybe if we were dating, and he didn’t have a weird phobia of being touchedI’d wrap my arm around him as well.

Inside the convention center, we walk down a short hallthrough the gigantic double doors and enter the _ballroom_. There are large round tablesthat sit six peoplesituated around three edges of the room. They border what I would assume to be the dance floor and a stage that takes up the entire back wall, demanding attention. There is already a live band playing that creates a lovely swaying piece. There are people milling about, talking to each other, dancing on the dancefloor,finding their seat among the dozens of tables.

I spot Annie and Finnick talking to an older couple that I don’t know. Despite Annie being eight months pregnant now she still looks gorgeous in her strapless emerald gown. Finnick’s arm is around Annie’s waist, not in the possessive way that Peeta’s arm is around minebut in a loving way. I feel a twinge of jealousy, something deep inside me wishes that it was my stomach swollen with Peeta’s child and having him look down at me with the face that I see Finnick gives Annie. I push those feelings back down to wherever they came from because they are far from welcome. I just want to touch Peeta not have his children.

Peeta drags me from one businessman to another, barely introducing me. I stand dutifully by his side and watch people mingle about each other. I’ve lost sight of Annie and Finnick. I hope one of them finds me soon so I can join their conversations, I’m sure they’d include me. That’s when I feel it; a shocking vibration to my core. I take in a sharp inhale of breath and my eyes go wide. I glance over at Peeta who is still intently talking to one of the countless men in suits that we’ve spoken to so far. I see his hand in his pocket and the slight flex of his fingers and the pattern of the vibration changes.

Five agonizing minutes of the vibrator straight to my clit and I’m dizzy with pleasure. My teeth clench together as well as my legs as I try not to moan out loud. Finally after having to grip the table he turns it off.

“Katniss?” I hear Peeta call my name.

“Hm?” I look up at him with hazy eyes.

“Did you want to take our seats now? It’s almost time for dinner.”

I nod and Peeta grabs my hand, pulling me along to a predetermined round table.

I find Finnick and Annie again. They’re already sitting at our table. Annie’s got both of her feet propped up in Finnick’s lap under the table. He’s being an amazing husband by rubbing her feet.

“Hey,” Annie smiles at us when we approach. “I didn’t know you guys were here yet.”

“Yeah, we got here not too long agobut I wanted to talk to a few people before dinner,” Peeta says.

“No business talk todayPeeta Mellark, it’s your day off. I’m sure Katniss doesn’t want to listen to you drone on about numbers and mergers,” Annie jokes.

Peeta and I both give tight smiles.

Delly and Madge arrive not too long after Peeta and I take our seats. Both of them look beautiful in their own dresses. Delly is wearing a white and black swirled A-line dress with long sleeves and a deep plunging neckline. Madge is wearing a nude color gown with a beaded halter neck, very simpleyet stunning on her with her dark lips and long fake lashes.

“So what’s this for?” I whisper to Delly who is sitting next to me.

“Peeta didn’t tell you what this is for?” She questions and I shake my head no. “Our parents or really our mom throws this huge charity event every year and a lot of big time business people show up and dish out their money for the cameras. Peeta is one of the biggest donators though he doesn’t do it for publicity; he actually cares where his money is going to.”

“And what happens with all of the money?”

“Half of it goes to fighting childhood hunger and the other goes to helping children with mental health problems. Peeta’s struggled with both growing up so he normally donates a lot. He also likes to see where his money is going; it’s really great how involved he is with all of this. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you," Delly concludes.

I shrug. “We’ve both been busy I guess.” 

Mags walks onto the stage when dinner is almost done. She reminds us that it is almost time for the auction to start and that if anyone who wishes to bid needs to get their paddle with number on it.

Everything that will be auctioned off has been donated by other people here according to Delly. All of them start with a bid over three thousand dollars. Peeta’s donation is one of the highest bidding prizes of the night. It’s a week-long cruise for up to four people, on a private yacht in the Mediterranean. It includes round trip airfare and a full staff to wait on the winner’s hand and foot.

“I didn’t know you have a yacht,” I say as I clap politely for the winner.

“It’s not mine. An anonymous investor loaned it for the auction. I provided the airfare.”

“Why would they want to be anonymous? Wouldn’t they want to be known for donating to charity?” I ask.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask questions, I just accepted the donation graciously.”

Once the auction concludes, the winners rush away to do the paperwork on their prizes while the rest of us are left to mingle around and listen to the band playing in the background. Peeta and I remain seated as do Finnick and Annie while Delly and Madge go off to entertain other guests.

The vibrator starts up again when I’m not expecting it. Peeta’s hand finds itself on my lap intertwined with mine. Peeta looks down at me and gives me a sincere smile.

“Dance with me?”  He asks.

I nod and I’m whisked away to the dance floor. I keep my hands locked together behind Peeta’s neck as his thumb rubs circles on my hip. The mix of the vibration between my legs and the weight of Peeta’s body pressing up against mind is intoxicating. For a moment I am able to forget that I’m still mad at him.

“We’ve had a rough week,” Peeta whispers in my ear. It’s the first real thing he’s said to me since we were back at his place in my own room.

“Because you’ve been an ass,” I tell him.

“You’re not the only person I’ve been an ass to this week. I’m pretty sure half my team wants to walk out on me. I don’t like what you do tomeKatniss. You test my patience more than anyone has before and I don’t know how to deal with it. Half of it is refreshing because no one has questioned my authority before or has pushed back but the other half of it is so frustrating that I just want to punish you into your place. It’s overwhelming. I’m sorry.”

I’m about to kiss him my acceptance when he pulls away quickly. There is an older lady standing beside us. It’s hard to pinpoint her age due to the Botox injections she’s obviously hadbut they’re natural looking, not horrendous alterations of herself.

“Cashmere?” Peeta lets go of me to give the lady a hug.

I watch as they embrace each other. Peeta’s hands slips around her waist as hers go around his neck and when they start to part she trails them down his chest. Peeta doesn’t even flinch! She’s touching him. She’s touching his chest and Peeta is smiling. My heart is going to explode with how fast it’s beating. I watch as an awkward bystander as these two exchange catch-ups. The heat between my legs is long forgotten.

“I didn’t think you’d be coming tonight,” Peeta tell her.

“I wasn’t going to but decided what the hell. I had heard from you mother that you have a new woman in your life and you were bringing her out into the world,” Cashmere says as if she knows what and who I am to Peeta.

“Uh yeah, this is Katniss. Katniss this is Cashmere, a friend of mine,” Peeta introduces us.

“Just a friend?” Cashmere grasps my hand. “Honey I think I know you better than any of your other friends would.”

Peeta laughs awkwardly and shakes his head. Sticking his hand in his pocket he switches off my underwear but I’ve already gone numb to its pleasure and it’s no longer affecting me.

“I’ll let you get back to your dance. I just wanted to come introduce myself. If you ever want to know Peeta’s dirty little secrets give me a call. I’m sure you can find my number in Peeta’s phone,” Cashmere winks and saunters off.

Peeta and I resume our dance but it’s not as intimate as before we were interrupted.

“Who was that?” I inquire.

“Cashmere Addams, she’s a friend of mine.”

“She didn’t seem like a friend.”

Peeta gives me a look that is meant as a warning. He wants me to drop the subject. He doesn’t want me to know who she is. He doesn’t want me to know what she was to him. I’ll drop it for now. For the sake of everyone around us but I think the topic of Cashmere Addams is fair game in the privacy of Peeta’s home.

Peeta knows what I’m thinking and his thumb presses into my hip a little harder. He dips his head down and places his lips against the shell of my ear. “She’s an old friend of mine, now drop it.”

I roll my eyes but Peeta can’t see.

Will is the next to interrupt us. He’s with a photographer from the Seattle Tribute, one of the largest newspapers in Seattle. He’d like to get a photo of Peeta for the front page of next Sunday’s issue. I’m about to step out of the way when Peeta pulls in close and Will tells us to get even closer. With the smile on Peeta’s face you’d have no idea how tense things are between us. I mimic his smile and look at the camera, waiting for the flash to go off.

“Thank you Mr. Mellark,” the photographer says. “And Ms.?”

“Ms. Katniss Everdeen,” Will Mellark steps in. “Katniss with a K. She’s Peeta’s girlfriend.”

They walk off together with Will teaching the photographer how to spell my name.

“What was that all about?”

“My dad is just thrilled I’ve actually brought someone to this. I’m pretty sure he thought I was gay,” Peeta explains.

“Gay?”

“I live a very private life Katniss. You’re the first one to be brought out to such a public event.”

By first one he means first submissive.

***

We don’t stay much longer. Another picture or two and some more conversation with boring old men then we’re in the backseat of one of Peeta’s SUVs with Haymitch behind the wheel. I’m exhausted. I was tired when I landed this afternoon but now I can barely keep my head up and my eyes open. I really hope Peeta doesn’t want to do anything in the play room tonight because I won’t be much fun.

I’m woken up by Peeta lifting me out of the car and carrying me towards the elevators. I try to mumble to him that I can walk but Peeta holds me closer to his body. I fall asleep between the elevator ride and Peeta’s bedroom.

Peeta sets me down on the bed and shimmies my dress off of my body. I’m only wearing the underwear he’s gotten me underneath and he takes those off as well. Peeta slips one of his tee shirts on me and pulls the covers over my body. A few minutes later he’s crawling in behind me, pulling my back into his front like usual. Peeta places a kiss behind my ear and I feel his sigh along the back of my neck.

I like this Peeta. The one that holds me like we’re together, the one that doesn’t need to whip me in order to be happy.


	17. Don't Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! It's only been like two weeks since my last update so this must come as a surprise to most of you! I've got two more chapters done that just need to be beta'd and I'm working on chapter twenty as you're reading this.   
> As everyone knows this fic was inspired by the 50 shades books. For those who haven't read them, don't they are horrendous. I just thought that Peeta and Katniss would be hot in a BDSM filled universe so hence this story. Originally I was going to stick to the plot line of all three books and condense them into one long ass fanfiction but screw that. I'll take different plots and inspiration from FSOG here and there but other than that I want Peeta to start being a good guy and not a douchebag weirdo that is Christian Grey.  
> Anyways probably three more chapters until I go on a shot hiatus cause I'm going on vacation bitchesssss!  
> Big ol' thanks to dandelionlass! Go check out everything she does on tumblr, here and FFN.   
> Sorry for the long chapter note, go read now!
> 
> **PS I'M JUST GOING TO TELL YOU THAT THIS CHAPTER DEFINITELY CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT**

I feel Peeta kiss my forehead before hearing him walk out of the bedroom. Until my alarm goes offI drift back and forth between a dream-like state and reality. I’m still so tired and my body is sore from all of the standing I did in heels. I push myself to sit up and pull myself out of bed and head to the bathroom. It couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes since Peeta was in the shower because the smell of his body wash still lingers in the air.

I wash my hair and body and I’m out of the shower within ten minutes. I wrap a fuzzy towel around my body and then wrap my hair in a smaller one. I brush my teeth, lotion my face and body, then head out of the bathroom to find something to wear.

Peeta’s back in the bedroom, sitting on the bed.

“I thought you went to work,” I say as I drop my towel to put on my undergarments. I can feel Peeta gaze over me but I don’t look at him.

“Yeah I forgot some papers on my nightstand. I had to turn around.”

I nod.

“Do you want to go to dinner tonight?” he asks.

“Yeah sure,” I say, slipping into a pair of dress pants that Peeta bought for me. I keep a small pile of my work clothing on a chair in Peeta’s room so I don’t have to travel up and down stairs each morning.

“Prim can come if she’s available. I can apologize to her for leaving the vacation.”

“She’s not the only one you need to apologize to," I remind him.

“I’ve already apologized to youKatniss. More than once, if I remember correctly.”

“Buying me ridiculous jewelry and saying, “I’m sorry,” wasn’t what I was looking for.”

It happens so fast. One moment I’m standing on my own on the other side of the room and the next minute I’m being pushed up against the wall with my hands held above me. Peeta has me pinned with his hips so my toes are just grazing the floor.

“I don’t appreciate your tone. I’ve said I was sorry, what else do you want me to do?”

“Show me.” I growl.

Peeta’s lips sear against mine. The kiss has ignited a spark in my veins, trailing hot licks of fire throughout my body until I’m one flaming fireball. I forget everything. I forget how incredibly mad I am with Peeta. I forget that I should hold my ground and push him away, sayno until I get what I want.

My legs have a mind of their own and wrap themselves around Peeta’s waist. I arch my back and push myself further into him. I hate how he’s already trained my body to act like this. I hate how I can’t control my urge for him to take me.

“Keep your hands here,” Peeta gives my wrists a rough squeeze before letting go of them to let his fingers deftly pull the cups of my bra down to expose my breasts.

I moan loudly as Peeta’s teeth sink into my flesh of my chest. I want more. I want more of his mouth and lips and teeth on me. Peeta can sense my wants without me even having to say anything and drops his hands to the buttons of my pants. He pops the button and undoes the zipper. Peeta takes ahold of my legs by my knees and changes their position so they are no longer wrapped around his waist but each leg propped against his shoulders. My pants are shoved to around my knees, just enough for Peeta to slip into me with little resistance.

Peeta doesn’t check to see if I’m ready before he’s flexing his hips and entering me swiftly. It doesn’t matter though; I’m completely soaked and aching. We haven’t had this kind of physical contact in almost a week and after the vibrating underwear last night I’m in desperate need of him.

It’s so hard to keep my hands above my head and I can feel my arms start to burn. “My arms,” I h out hoping that Peeta will understand what I mean.

“Hair,” he grunts back.

I work my fingers into his hair and pull, bringing his mouth up towards mine. I bite his lips and he growls, shoving into me harder and harder. I scream and tears brim my eyes. I love it. I love the fast and brutal pace. I love the way Peeta is pinching my nipples until the pain and pleasure start to blur together.

Minutes. That’s all it takes. We’re both coming hard and fast. Peeta’s knees give way slightlycausing him to slump further into me, essentially folding me in half. He regains his strength and helps me come out of my pretzel-like formation.

“I didn’t know I was that flexible,” I pant once my feet are planted firmly on the ground.

“I didn’t know I could come that fast. That’s got to be a record. Another first for us.”

“But not the last,” I add with a smile.

“No Katniss, definitely not the last.”

***

I arrive to work nearly thirty minutes late but I couldn’t care less. I’m sated and happy and, for once this week, I’m not pissed off at Peeta. After our romp he kissed me sweetly and helped me into my clothes. He excused Effie from making me breakfast and made eggs himself, feeding me bites of fluffy omelet with mushroom, red peppers and spinach.

“You’re late Everdeen,” Seneca comes up to my desk.

“Yeah sorry, I forgot to set my alarm. It won’t happen again,” I lie.

 “Better not. You’ll need to stay late to catch up on our project, since you were on vacation last week.”

“Yes Sir.”

Delly called at the beginning of my lunch break and asked if she could take me out for a bit. She promised to have me back to work within the end of my lunch break and I couldn’t refuse her. I had no excuses other than I didn’t want Johanna to eat alone. Johanna however, is off in her own world sending dirty text messages to Gale.

We go to a small life café that sells Mexican inspired sandwiches and coffees.

“Did you have a good time last night?” Delly asks after swallowing her first bite of sandwich.

“Yeah it was a bit of a culture shock but I liked it.”

“Good. I noticed that you and Peeta seemed a little bit tense. Is everything okay?” Delly presses for answers.

I look up at her. Damn, she doesn’t waste time. I briefly wonder if Peeta put her up to this to find out what I’m thinking about, or if I’m hiding something from him. I decide that’s silly, because Peeta is an extremely private person. He wouldn’t have his sister, who knows nothing of his private life, do his dirty work.

“We’re family now Katniss. You can talk shit about my brother to me, I don’t care.”

“We’re family?” I question.

“Of course. You’re dating Peeta, which makes us unofficial official family members.”

“But we haven’t even been dating that long," I counter.

“Peeta has never brought someone home to meet us and he’s thirty-two years old. You’re the first one that he deemed special enough to introduce us to.”

“He only brought me home because Finnick caught us in bed together and he told your mom about us.”

“It would have happened anyways. I can see it all over Peeta’s face. He’s crazy about you.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Sometimes I think I’m not what he needs," I admit.

Delly shakes her head no. “I know my brother; you’re exactly what he needs. Even if he doesn’t know it yet. Just be patient with him. It’ll all work out in the end.”

***

There hasn’t been anyone in the building for a long time nowbut I’m still sitting at the same lab table pouring over notes that I’ve recorded. Pinpointing exactly what makes these tiny berries so lethal isn’t as easy as I once thought it would be.

Seneca comes strolling in, startling me.

“I didn’t think anyone else was here," I say.

“I was doing some paperwork. I thought I would come give you a hand.”

I allow it. I put Seneca to work slicing the berries open and extracting the juice. He runs the dark liquid through one of our many machines again and again and again each time looking at different variation. We work in silence for nearly an hour, each passing moment Seneca getting closer and closer to me. He thinks that I’m oblivious to him inching closer and closer to me but I do. It’s impossible not to with the stench of his cologne getting stronger.

“I couldn’t help but notice how different you were after coming back from lunch. Lover’s quarrel with Mr. Mellark?”

“No,” I answer without much explanation.

“Then what could have made you go from being happy to upset in the matter of an hour.”

“We’ve just got a lot of things going on right now. I won’t let it affect my work, I promise.”

“Oh I don’t doubt that, Ms. Everdeen, but you know what you need?”

“What?” I ask to humor him.

“A real man.”

I quirk up my eyebrow. If only Seneca knew how much of a man Peeta really is.

“A real man, like me," he continues.

Again it happens so fast. One moment I’m leaning over my notes with Seneca next to me and the next he’s got my flipped over so my back finds itself on the hard metal surface with his body pressed close to mine. His lips are nothing like Peeta’s. They’re thin and chapped and his beard doesn’t feel like Peeta’s scruff. I hate it and literally feel sick. I try to push him away but he’s stronger than I imagined him to be. Instinct kicks in and my knee jerks up and meets Seneca’s most sensitive area. Immediately Seneca pulls away from me and doubles over in pain.

I run and don’t bother to look back. I reach my desk and grab my bag then run for the door. I don’t stop until I’m sittin in my truck, in the parking garage . My heart doesn’t stop racing until I make it back to Peeta’s.

Peeta’s waiting for me in the living room dressed in nice jeans and a loose fitting grey tee shirt.

“Where were you?” Peeta asks standing from the couch and walking towards me.

“Work. I had to stay late to catch up on the project. I got in late and missed last week.”

I debate telling Peeta now or later when he’s not pissed about me missing dinner with him. Peeta is inches away from kissing me when he pauses.

“Who were you with?” He asks.

“What do you mean?”

“That horrible men’s cologne. You reek of it.”

“Don’t get mad. I didn’t do anything.”

“Katniss what the fuck happened?” I can see steam starting to pour from Peeta’s ears.

“Seneca Crane kissed me. He threw himself at me.”

“And did you reciprocate?”

“Did I kiss back? You’re really going to ask me that?”

“Did you or did you not kiss him back?”

“You’re unbelievable do you know that? No, I didn’t kiss him back! I kneed him in the balls and I ran out of there.”

Peeta pushes past me to pace back and forth for a minute. Then he takesout his phone from his pocket and dials a number.

“I want him fired. Seneca Crane. Fire him now or I stop funding money and your entire company will go down the drain. If he isn’t gone by tomorrow morning, I’ll have you by your balls."

Peeta shoves his phone back into his pocket and I’m confused. Who did he just call? How does he have the power to fire Crane?

“Who did you call?” I ask.

“Snow.”

“And how do you know him?”

“When you started working for that company I did some research. I found out that Snow was spending more than he was earning so I bought fifty-one percent of the company."

“So you’re like my boss?" I conclude.

“Seneca was your boss. Snow was Seneca’s boss. I’m Snow’s silent partner that owns one more percent than him of his own business.”

“So you bought the business I was working for because it was going to go bankrupt?”

“You were excited to work there and I liked seeing you happy. But Snow is a shady man and I don’t trust him so I made sure I had more say in his company than he does.”

“You’re ridiculous.” I throw my hands up in defeat and head into the other room.

“You’re calling me ridiculous because I fired the man who forced himself on you?”

“I’m calling you ridiculous because I can take care of myself and I don’t need you protecting me at every turn. I’m not a damsel in distress and you are no knight in shining armor.”

We continue our banter well into the night. I’m sure Effie and Haymitch, wherever they are, are sick of hearing us fight about the most mundane things. I teriously consider slapping Peeta, but Iprobably only get to surprise him once and want to save it for something bigger than this.

Finally when it’s just past midnight and we’re both too fired up to sleep when Peeta speaks again.

“You know, if you’d just sign the fucking contract I could punish you and this would be over.”

“So far you didn’t need a contract. What’s stopping you now?” I counter.

“HonestlyI have no idea. There is nothing more that I want to do right now than to severely punish you.”

“Well then, let’s do it.” I agree.

“What?

“Punish me Peeta. Punish me as hard as you can, as much as you can. I’ve certainly done enough the past week to deserve it. Pull out all of the stops and go for it; spreaders, gags, hot wax. If I can handle it, I’ll sign your stupid contract tonight.”

“And if you can’t?”

“Then we find out that we’ve been fooling ourselves.”

***

We by-passthe kneeling bullshit. As soon as we walk through the playroom door I strip from my clothing and Peeta ties my hands to the ceiling. He spreads my legs apart and ties them to opposite poles so I’m just barely able to stand on my tip toes. Wasting no time, Peeta tells me that he’s going to put a gag in my mouth saying, "he’s sick of hearing me defy him." Before he does it, he explains that if he ever becomes too much just hold up three of my fingers and he’ll stop. I’m tied up, gagged, and blindfolded. Peeta’s whispering all of the things he wants to do to me and at the start of everything I’m turned on, until he actually starts to do them.

The flogging is first. Ten whips for getting drunk and causing a scene in Hawaii, another ten for the fight I started when I was drunk, five each for the times I’ve interrupted him while speaking, three each for denying all of his apologies and twenty for allowing another man to kiss me. I’ve lost count at thirty whips and they keep coming. I’m sobbing underneath my blindfold and choking on the excess saliva I’ve got in my mouth from crying. I can’t tell where Peeta will hit me next; my butt, chest, thighs, back, stomach, or god forbid between my legs. He’s only hit me there twice when Istopwailing. The tails of the flogger hit my clit directly and send a white hot current throughout my body despite the pain. I’ll come from this, I don’t want to, but I will.

Just when I’ve reached the very edgeI hear Peeta drop the flogger. Behind the gag I let out a sob, from joy that the pain will finally stop, or from sadness because I was so close to coming, I honestly don't know. Peeta lets me cool down for a minute. He doesn’t touch me but I can feel him watching me, hear his ragged breath. Then out of nowhere I feel a sharp pinch my left nipple followed by my right. The clamps are weighted and pull at my elongated tips painfully.

I feel Peeta’s hand at my center, cupping my wetness. “Fuck your body loves this. Your body is just dripping from me controlling you. Begging me to flog, pinch and fuck you,” Peeta punctuates the word fuck by slamming into me. My head and back ram up against the wooden X, scratching up my already welted back.

I’m right there again due to Peeta’s pelvis hitting my clit and that spot inside me each time he moves. Two more hard thrusts and I’ll sing. But they don’t come. Peeta pulls completely out of me and waits until my breathing evens out. Then he’s at it again, sinking deep into me making me wither in pleasure. Again right as I’m about to shout out, Peeta stops. He starts and stops and starts again until I’m too sensitive and fragile. The leather straps around my wrists are the only things holding me up. Finally, finally, finally instead of slowing down to a stop he speeds up even more.

Peeta yanks the blindfold off of me and I blink my eyes at him in almost horror. I can no longer see the Peeta that I’ve grown so attached to. This Peeta is different, more sinister. There is only evil in his eyes and hate gritted between his teeth.

I come painfully. It’s so powerful that I can’t breathe, or think, or comprehend who I am. I black out briefly. Peeta removes the gag and unhooks my feet and then my arms and I all but crumple onto the ground. Peeta tries to help me upbut I use what little energy I have left to push him off of me.

“Katniss,” my name sounds like a plea but I can fear the fear in his voice.

“Don’t touch me.”

Peeta doesn’t listen. Instead he wraps me in a bedsheet and carries me out of the room. After struggling to be let free and realizing that Peeta isn’t going to budge, I cry and Peeta holds me tighter. He places me gently on the bed in my bedroom.Peeta climbs into bed and holds me tightly.

I cry until all the tears are gone and I’m left whimpering. Finally I sit up and push Peeta off of me and get out of bed. Peeta follows my moves but keeps a distance from me.

“You’ll never do that to me again.” I wrap the blanket even tighter around me.

“Katniss, I thought that was what you wanted. You told me to do it,” Peeta tries to defend himself.

“I know what I asked for and you’ll never get to do that to me again.”

“Katniss this is what I do. I punish you for misbehaving and reward you for good behavior.”

“Why? Why do you have to do it? Why can’t you just be with me?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

I sigh, seemingly to be at a loss for words. I don’t know where to go from here.

“It’s late, let’s just go to bed.”

“I thought you didn’t let subs sleep in your bed.”

“You’re right. We need some space. Sleep here tonight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Peeta shuts the door behind him and I sob again. I hate feeling this weak and helpless. I hate feeling like I have no say. I can’t do this.

Peeta may have just left my room but he’s no longer in the hallway, or in the kitchen and living room. I check his bedroom and he’s not there either. Finally I head for his office, the place I should have checked first.

He’s behind the desk typing away on the keyboard furiously.

“Peeta,” I whisper.

“Katniss.” He stands to walk towards me.

“I’m in love with you,” I get out.

“Katniss,” Peeta says my name as if it’s physically hurting him. “You don’t love me.”

“Yes I do Peeta.”

“No you don’t,” he says with more force. “You can’t.”

“Why can’t I?” I fold my hands over my chest and wait for his response.

“I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve your love. You can’t love me, okay?”

“It’s too late. I’m in love with you.”

Peeta shakes his head and runs his shaky hands through his hair. “I’ve got to go.  I’ll be back.”

“Don’t leave,” I try to grab Peeta’s hand to stop him from leaving but he pulls away from me.

“Don’t love me.”

***

Peeta said that he would be back laterbut I can’t stay here waiting. I write Peeta a note and leave it on his pillow in his bedroom before gathering my things.

I don’t hear Haymitch come in until he says something. “You’re really leaving sweetheart?”

I nod and shove my clothes into a bag. Haymitch helps me pack and doesn’t say anything, which I’m thankful for. Once we’re finished he carries the bag downstairs for me.

“Do you need me to drive you home?” he offers.

I shake my head no.

“You know, normally I’d say you don’t deserve a guy like Peeta, most of the girls he enters these types of relationships with don’t, but he could have done a lot worse than you sweetheart. Your scowl will be missed.”

Haymitch pushes the elevator button for me and gives me a tense wave as the doors shut on him. It’ll be the last time I see Peeta’s surly right hand man.

***

Prim is home when I walk through the front door. Her feet are propped up on the back of the couch as her head dangles off the side. She’s watching a rerun of Friends and furiously texting someone.

“Katniss?” Prim says in a small voice.

“We broke up.”

That’s all I need to say for Prim to bound off of the couch and embrace me in a hug.  We forget about my bag as Prim leads me upstairs and into my bedroom. We cuddle each other on my bed, something we haven’t done since Prim was still in her awkward phase.

“I told him that I loved him and he told me not to,” I whisper into the darkness.

“How did you tell him?”

“We had been fighting. I was stupid and thought that maybe that would get him to be different. I thought maybe I could change himbut I couldn’t. I’m so stupid.”

“Shh,” Prim soothes me. “You’re far from stupidKatniss. Love just makes you do out of character things. Peeta will come around eventually. He’s just as new at all of this as you are, remember that. It’s just been him and that company for so many years.”

“How did you become so wise?”

“You were too busy keeping me fed and warm to notice me grow up," Prim tells me.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been preoccupied. I’ll be betterI promise.”

“Just promise me that you’ll find a way to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

“You’re happy that I’m happy. I want you to be your own kind of happy.”

Prim can’t see me smile, but I am. Sometimes I wonder if I should relinquish control all together and let her take care of the family. I’m sure she’d do a much better than I ever have.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> want to yell at me?  
> send me hate on tumblr @ bakerboymellark


	18. On My Own Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd have this out sooner. After work I just want to watch criminal minds and go to sleep. Plus I've been sick. I'm still completely stunned at how much feedback this story has received so far. I love you all.  
> Thanks to dandelionlass for betaing.  
> Still, all mistakes are mine.

It’s only been two weeks since I placed that note on his pillow. Peeta only called me once and I let it go to voicemail. If I would have picked up I knew that he could have easily convinced me to go back to him. Go back to torturing my heart and ignoring the gnawing feeling in my stomach. I listened to the voicemail he left. The last sixty seconds I’ll ever get with Peeta Mellark. I have to pretend now that my short life with him never existed.

_“You left. That’s it. You can’t come back, we’re done. This is on you Katniss,” Peeta’s voice is full of malice. Then after a few deep breaths there’s a much softer Peeta. “Dammit Katniss, why would you let me do that to you? I knew it was a bad idea but I wanted you to sign the fucking contract. I just wanted to get back to what I knew. I’m sorry Katniss. I hope you find someone that is able to give you everything that I can’t.”_

It’s hard to pretend that Peeta never existed though. Everywhere I turn, I can see, feel, hear, and sense him. He’s at my work with Seneca’s empty desk, reminding me that it was him that got Crane fired. He’s on my bed where he gave me my first glimpse of BDSM. He’s in my car when a song that he likes plays on the radio. He’s the birth control pills in my purse that later find themselves in my toilet. He’s on my nightstand where the stupid music box with the mockingjay whistle plays. I think about smashing it multiple times but I can’t bring myself to do it. The box also reminds me of my dad, and all of those memories outweigh the memories of Peeta.

Johanna came up with the brilliant idea of me moving in with her. She thinks that it’ll be good for me to get out of my comfort zone and be somewhere that doesn’t have the essence of Peeta. I don’t say yes to her but somehow Gale has helped me pack up my room and everything is now nice and organized in Johanna’s spare room and my first month’s rent is in her back pocket.

Johanna has had enough of my ‘moping’ around. Yes I go to work and yes I eat lunch and converse with people. Yes I celebrated with many of the other female coworkers when Seneca left the company due to ‘personal reasons’. Yes I put a smile on my face and check in with Prim. But all of that isn’t enough. Johanna says that I’m not all there. Part of me is constantly reliving the break up and I need to get out of my own head. I need a rebound fuck.

I immediately shoot down any all of her advances for me to hook up with someone. I’m not ready and I have no desire to sleep with someone I don’t know. Plus I’m terrified that I might actually like it and moving on from Peeta will be easier than I thought it would be, meaning I didn’t have the feelings I had for him.

Johanna gives me two weeks. Two weeks and then I have to go out with her for a least a drink and a dance. I agree to it, mainly to get her to shut up but I also know that in two weeks I need to get my shit together and move on. I need to start acting like the Katniss I prided myself to be. The Katniss with the hard exterior that doesn’t let anyone or anything get to her.

Prim asks me to join her lunch one day. We hadn’t talked a lot since her internship started and my moving out. She looks so professional with her maroon colored scrubs and her blonde hair pulled back in a single braid over her shoulder. When her hair is like this it’s the only time we bare any sort of resemblance.

“So,” Prim started out as she picked out a crouton from her side salad and ate it. “Peeta stopped by the hospital. He was dropping something off for his mom since she’s been a little under the weather lately but I ran into him and he looks like he’s the one under the weather.”

“Prim,” I groan. “I don’t want to spend my lunch with you talking about Peeta.”

“I know, I know,” she insists, “but I also that that you’re miserable and clearly so is he. You miss each other, you loved each other. I don’t understand why you two broke up, that’s all.”

“We just want different things and there wasn’t a point in staying together when we have to different end goals?”

“Like you wanted kids and a white-picketed fence and he didn’t or vice versa or something?”

“Or something.”

“And what would that be?” Prim pries. She’s normally not like this.

“He didn’t want anything serious and surprisingly I did,” I say probably too bitterly than I should have.

“Well that’s bullshit. You didn’t see him, he’s miserable. He might think that he doesn’t want anything serious but he’s fooling himself.”

“He doesn’t Primrose,” I use her full name sternly. “We broke up. We’re never getting back together, he made that very clear. I know that you liked having him around but he’s gone. Just like everyone else, he disappeared too.”

I was too harsh. I can see the hurt plastered all over Prim’s angelic face. I immediately want to take back everything I just said but I can’t. You can’t erase the words you say out loud. They’re there forever imbedded in the brains of whom you spoke them to.

“I’m sorry,” Prim whispers.

“I’m sorry too. He’s still a sore subject for me and I don’t want to talk about him. I just want to forget.”

“Okay.”

“Tell me about the internship.”

Prim dives into story after story about Aurelius and the other interns. She says that she’s Aurelius’ favorite since he had a chance to get to know her before anyone else during their interview. He’s started sharing some of his unpublished work in all of the fields that he’s dabbled in; psychology, cardiology, cancer research, the different ways stem cells could be used. Prim always figured that she’d end up working as a doctor in the ER but now because of Aurelius she’s found a love for the science behind the medicine and the relationships between the causes and effects. She developed a passion for dissecting one’s emotions and how different people react in similar situations. Stitching up bullet wounds no longer gets her adrenaline pumping; she wants to figure what makes a serial killer a serial killer. 

I part from Prim feeling better than I have all week. My sister is happy and that makes me happy. I have a smile on my face for the rest of the day. Not even the snide looks from Enobaria can change my mood.

When Johanna and I get home from work Gale is already there with his feet up on the coffee table watching a rerun of Friends and drinking one of Johanna’s beers.

“Whatcha doin’?” Johanna slides onto the couch next to him and cracks open a beer for herself.

“I got good news and I’m celebrating,” Gale says.

“What’s the good news?” I ask.

“Someone saw some of my photos somewhere and fell in love. She wants to put them in one of her galleries and maybe sell a few. There is going to be like a viewing or whatever in a couple of weeks, as soon as we can decide on what photos to use.”

“Wow, I didn’t know that you were that serious about photography enough to sell your stuff in an actual gallery,” I say. Gale always liked bringing his old camera with him when we went hiking or hunting. He’d snap a few photos of the landscape and some of animals. Sometimes he’d steal a few snapshots of me. It’s a passion of his and I’ve seen some of the pictures once he gets them developed. He’s definitely got an eye for that sort of beauty but he’s never showed a professional interest in photography nor had he ever voiced in interest in wanting to sell his work for top dollar in a professional setting while selling them off EBay to make a quick buck in college.

“I’m not but she was adamant about wanting to put them in her store and I need some extra cash. I’m not doing anything with them so why not? I’ll get a couple hundred bucks maybe and help my mom buy school supplies for Vick and Posy. I might even pay my rent early.”

“Well congratulations. I’m proud of you, baby,” I want to vomit at the sound of Johanna calling Gale baby.

“Thank you. You two coming to the gallery opening?”

“Of course we’ll be there,” Johanna smiles I nod my head in agreement. Gale’s supported me in so much over the years; it’s a no brainer to support him.

***

I’m back to borrowing Prim’s clothing as well as some of Johanna’s for tonight gallery opening. Prim sticks me in a Peter Pan collared blouse that has flowery designs on it in light sages, peaches, hues of blue and yellow and thankfully tight black dress pants instead of a skirt. I am however forced to wear these pale yellow flats that have rose gold studs along the top of the shoe and come to a point that squeezes my toes together. I’m surprised that Johanna owns shoes like these and when I tell her she shrugs and blames it on an impulse buy.

The rest of the Hawthorne gang are all waiting outside for us when we get to the small building in a hip part of downtown. This is only the second time in years that I’ve seen Hazelle wearing any sort of make-up and her hair down. She isn’t wearing the maid uniform that I normally see her in but is wearing a nice black dress.

Unlike my mother, when Hazelle lost her husband to the same fire that took my father she became more of a mother. She became overly active in her children’s lives making sure that they were all happy and healthy and fed. For a long time I envied Gale. Sometimes he’d bitch and moan about how many times Hazelle told him she loved him and sometimes she hovered too much but then I’d always remind him that I’m not sure the last time I had an actually conversation with my mom and he immediately shut up.

Hazelle hugs me then Prim then turns to hug Johanna tightly. I didn’t know that they knew each other, I wasn’t aware that she had been introduced to the family and that their relationship was at that stage already. I really thought that this relationship of theirs was nothing more than sex really.

“Has your boss been giving you any more crap Hazelle?” Johanna starts up a conversation with her as we all enter the building.

The walls are lined with photos of things I’m familiar with. There’s a picture of an old barn that Gale and I found one day while exploring part of the woods not far from our houses, pods of whales that Gale snapped a picture of from the shore. There’s one of Prim and Rory giggling at each other in the corner of the beach house in Hawaii. It’s amazing how much in love they look at such a young age. I walk through the gallery until I’m stopped in my tracks. Along the entire back wall are pictures of me. Most candid photos but there are some where I indulge in Gale’s wishes and smile into the camera goofily; those pictures are when I was younger and still blissfully unaware that my mom would never come out of her grief and I would have to be the one to keep Prim fed and clothed.

I had no idea how many pictures of me Gale has taken over the years.

“Aren’t these amazing?” A girl asks me as I stare dumbfounded at the photos of myself. “A friend of a friend showed me this exact picture and I instantly felt so connected. I just had to meet the photographer but I didn’t know that I’d get lucky enough to meet his muse. Are you two dating?”

I shake my head no. “Gale is my best friend. He’s dating my roommate.”

“I hope she’s not a jealous woman.”

“I’m not,” Johanna says bouncing up behind me. “I’ve already seen these when I was browsing his computer for porn. He doesn’t have any by the way, but he’s got loads of photos saved of Katniss from over the years in a folder titled ‘katnip’,” Johanna explains. “That is my favorite one.”

Johanna points to the last picture of me on the wall. I remember that day; I was right around eighteen and fall was just setting in. Gale and I were on our first hunting trip of the season. I’m wearing my father’s leather hunting jacket for warmth and I remember not being able to find anything too shoot when Gale pulled out his clunky camera and starts shooting me. I was annoyed and couldn’t be bothered to fool around. It was getting colder and the electricity bill was climbing higher and higher and I no longer had enough money to buy the meats we needed for the winter. My mother had only started working again after the long hiatus of trapping herself in her room. I needed a large buck to kill and Gale’s fooling around with his camera and flash was going to scare all the game in a ten mile radius away. So I pointed my nocked arrow straight at the lens. The photo is of me staring down the arrow with my braid over my shoulder and a determined scowl plastered on my face. I look lethal.

“Are you mad?” Gale asks from behind me as I continue to stare at myself. Johanna and the lady who I assume owns the building have long left to look at other more interesting things.

“Why would I be mad?”

“I didn’t ask for your permission.”

I shrug my shoulders. “I doubt anyone will buy these. Who wants an angry looking girl hanging on their walls?”

“Someone with an anger looking girl fetish probably,” Gale grins and I playfully punch his arm. “I’m glad you came out tonight.”

“Me too.”

Thanks to the free champagne, I’ve had just enough to gain that bubbly feeling that keeps me smiling. Prim and Rory left about thirty minutes ago. Prim had night rounds at the hospital and Rory was her ride. A lot of people have turned up, a lot of people with big wallets. Every time the owner posted a sold sign by another photo the disbelief in Gale’s eyes grew.

Johanna’s brother Blight showed up much to my surprise. Immediately after my break up Johanna told me about him, claiming that if I needed someone to fuck he’d be willing. Johanna’s brother isn’t bad looking; he’s got shaggy hair and a sharp nose. Johanna must take after one parent while Blight takes after the other because like Prim and I, you can’t tell that they are related.

I’m thankful for the free champagne because Blight stands a little closer than I would normally allow anyone to and if I wasn’t buzzed I’d have bit his head off of by now.

It’s nearly nine o’clock when I happen to look to see who is coming through the door. My heart stops, my lungs stops, the blood pumping to my brain halts in its tracks. Peeta makes eye contact with me and freezes until the lady he’s with pulls him further into the gallery. She’s the same lady that had her hands all over him at the gala. Peeta’s eyes narrow as I hear Blight  bend down to say something in my ear. I have no clue what he’s said because I’m trapped by Peeta’s stare.

“Holy fuck is that Peeta?” Johanna asks and I finally break out of my trance. All I can do is nod my head. “Who is that with him?”

“I don’t know. I met her at the gala though; she had her hands all over him.”

“Is that why you broke up?”

“We broke up because we wanted different things but seeing her touching him like that didn’t feel good.”

“Why are they here?”

“I’m not sure?”

But I’ll find out. I make eye contact with Peeta again then exit through the front door. I round the building and wait in a secluded alleyway. I don’t have to wait long before Peeta rounds the corner and is standing before me.

“What are you doing here?” I spit out. “I thought you made it clear that we’d pretend that the other didn’t exist.”

“I didn’t know I was coming to Gale’s gallery. Cashmere asked me to dinner tonight and mentioned how she would like to stop and look for some artwork for her cabin. If I would have known I wouldn’t have come, I swear.”

“So you’re seeing her now?”

“Cashmere? No I’m not seeing her. She’s an old friend of mine.”

“She doesn’t touch you like an old friend.”

I can see Peeta getting angry. “And who was that that was whispering into your ear. What was he whispering Katniss, sweet nothings? Why does Gale have all those pictures of you, are you fucking him behind Johanna’s back as well?”

“Yes Peeta, I’m fucking Gale and I’m fucking Blight. They’ve really shown me everything I’ve been missing.”

Peeta’s drawn closer to me now. So close now that I see feel the heat of his skin. My body reacts without my permission. I desperately want to close the distance between us, run my fingers through his hair, press my lips against his and have Peeta take me up against the brick. I’ve lost all will to talk.

 “You’re mine Katniss.”

I find my voice again. “I’m not yours Peeta. I never was.”


	19. Untouched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's another chapter! I'll be gone for about a week, but you all won't even notice I'm gone. nothing much to mention other than I love y'all and come hang out with me on tumblr (bakerboymellark)  
> & big thanks to dandelionlass for being my beta.   
> the title of this chapter is from untouched by the veronicas. nothing to do this the chapter really, it's just the last song I listened to.

“I can’t believe that some creep actually bought all of those pictures of you. He _or_ she is probably getting off to them hanging on their walls,” Johanna teases.

Her legs are thrown haphazardly over my legs and her head rests in Gale’s lap as we all sit on the couch and watch how to make the best barbeque sauce on the cooking network. It’s been just over two weeks since Gale’s galleryand Johanna still can’t get over the fact that not only one but all five photos of me sold at top dollar. Gale couldn’t really believe it either, but he’s not complaining since the buyer bought them for a pretty penny. I’m trying not to even think about it.

“So what did you and Peeta talk about?” Johanna inquires.

Fuck. Johanna’s been really good about not bringing up his name. She didn’t ask what happened after I stormed back in from our brief conversation in the alley. She hasn’t hinted at how I’m feeling or if I’m over him yet. She hasn’t asked if I’m ready to fuck her brother yet.

“Nothing,” I mumble.

“So you didn’t fuck him up against the brick wall and confess your love for each other between breathless pants?”  she continues.

“Fuck Jo, that’s my best friend. You can’t talk to Katniss about that in front of me, it’s gross,” Gale’s face scrunches up in disgust.

“Fine, can you go get me a beer please and not come back in for at least ten minutes?”

Gale grumbles something, grabs his phone off of the coffee tableand heads into the kitchen. I hear jars rattle as the fridge door opens and closes.

“So?” Johanna pries.

“We didn’t do anything. He asked me why there were photos of me and asked who Blight was, then I asked some things about that old bimbo,” I spit bitterly.

“He was jealous of Blight?”

I shrug my shoulders. Of course he was. Blight was showing interest and Peeta is possessive.

“Blight’s coming out with us on Saturday,” Johanna announces.

“I’m not going out on Saturday.”

“Come on Katniss,” Johanna whines. “It’s not even about getting back into the ring anymore. I just don’t want Peeta to be controlling you even when you two are broken up.”

Johanna is right, so right. I hate how right she is. I didn’t even realize that I was still allowing Peeta to control me. I’m not his anymore, I never was. I’m my own person and if I want to go out and get drunk on Saturday night and maybe God forbid dance with a guy or two then fuck it, I will. Of course going out on a Saturday night with the intentions of getting drunk and dancing with strangers isn’t something that I would like to be doingbut I’ve been working on getting out of my comfort zone.

“Is it safe to come back into the living room now?”Gale calls out.

“Yeah, we’re finished,” Johanna smirks because she knows that she’s just convinced me to finally go out with her.

***

Capital Club isn’t a place where I’d think to find Johanna. Johanna, like me, grew up with a love of the forests. Her father was a lumberjack as well as her grandfather and many generations before them. Gale is the first guy she’s dated that hasn’t had a job of cutting down trees. So when the cab pulls up in front of a stone building that is known for exotic things, I’m completely surprised.

Five seconds in and we’re handed bright pink shots of bitter alcohol. Johanna says that drinks will help curb the weirdness and I trust her. We drink and drinkand, when we’re finally good and tipsy, Blight shows up. He looks like a fish out of water as well but it seems like he doesn’t need to drink to be able to stand the flashing lights and loud music.

We dance. I don’t really know howbut I shake my body and press myself closer to Johanna. I was dancing against Blight but another girl stole him away and I didn’t care enough to get him back. I don’t want to lead him on anyhow. I shake my butt in time with the beat and Johanna throws her head back to let her short hair dangle off of her shoulders. It feels good to let loose and also not have to worry about doing the wrong thing or saying something wrong. It's a relief not to be constantly surrounded by all of the sexual tension.

I decide that for the pair of usit’s a good time to leave when Johanna starts instigating fights with random people as they passby. I’ve come to learn her levels of drunkness over the short months of knowing her.

First she’s just a more friendlier version of herselfthen she gets a little louder, after that she enters the touchy phase that no one really likes. Once that phase subsides, then it’s the loud and obnoxious phase, followed by the loud and mean phase, the version of Johanna that everyone is terrified of, and finally,  the one I’ve only seen once, the whiney about to pass out phase.

The cab ride home is mostly silent. Johanna’s grumbling about something and 70’s rock is playing softly through the speakers. By the time we get home she’s snoring and I have to call Gale from inside to get her out of the back of the car.

I watch as Gale dotes on Johanna, stripping her to her underwear then dressing her in one of his shirts that she’s constantly wearing. He places a bottle of water and two blue pills on the nightstand for her in the morning. I’m immediately jealous and have to lock myself in my room before Gale has the chance to see me do something stupid like cry.

***

Gale wakes me up the next morning around nine. He’s got two white pills and a glass of water in his hands. I take them graciously, popping the magicalpills into my mouth and swallowing them with the entire glass of water.

“Want to do something fun today?” Gale asks with a grin.

I’ve got on a pair of old shorts and a green tank top with my worn hunting boots. It feels nice to be wearing them again. I practically lived in them throughout school. Of course I had to back then. Once my father died and my mom had her long dormant period, I was still too young to work and had to find a way to get food without children services taking Prim away from me. So I hunted. I took everything my father ever taught me about the woods and applied it to hunting down every single animal that I had a tag for. I used to only stick to killing the smaller animals that I could carry to Old Ripper’s house to get could get them tagged legally and not be jailed for poaching. When Gale came along I was able to shoot down bigger targets like deer, or even an elk, since there was now two people to carry the weight of a big animal.

Today we’re not out here to kill anything. It’s not hunting season and we both make enough money that killing animals for food isn’t necessary. When we were both still in our teens we set up a fort way off a beaten and forgotten trail, right next to an isolated lake. We built a treehouse in one of the highest trees and set up an archery range and a fire pit to cook the fish that we caught. It took an entire summer to complete our escape from home but by the time big game season rolled in we were able to camp out in the trees comfortably.

My father had taken me to this exact same spot when I was very young. It’s the first memory I have. It’s the place where I stumbled across Gale. I knew him from school and my father talked about his in passingbut this spot solidified our friendship. It’s one of the only places left where I feel safe and not so alone.

“Figured you hadn’t been out here in a while,” Gale shrugs as we skip rocks along the mirrored water. “Thought a little dose of this could set you right again.”

“You’re right. Thank you.”

“I know we’re not right for each other,” Gale says unexpectedly.

“Excuse me?”

“You know I used to think that we’d always end up together, that we were soulmates or something ridiculous like that. I don’t think that anymore. I just wanted you to know.”

“Oh. Why not?”

“We’re too much alike. I used to think that would be a good thing but it’s not. Plus there’s Johanna now and I’m not saying anything to jinx it but she’s alright.”

I grin from ear to ear. “Johanna’s just alright?”

“Okay, she’s a couple steps above alright but if I let her know that it’ll only get to her head and she can barely fit through doors now as it is.”

“So is this relationship serious?”

Gale shrugs and throws his last rock into the water. It skips one, two, three, four times before it finally disappears into the water. “Again, I’m not trying to jinx anything but I think so. We’re still in the getting to know each other phase. She’s like my own little ogre.”

“An Ogre?”

“Yeah, like Shrek. He’s like an onion because he’s got so many layers and somewhere deep in her core is a mushy, loveable side of the Johanna Mason we all hate to love.”

I think about that. It’s funny how a children’s movie that so blatantly makes fun of other children’s movies can be so thoughtful. Peeta’s an ogre too. There’s a softer side to him that he likes to hide, I’ve seen it in the way he used to look at me when we’d first wake up or when I caught him painting. Those moments were all too fleeting, quickly masked by his harsh beastly exterior once again.

We reel in a couple yellow perch and put them in our cooler to eat for dinner tonight. We don’t linger and head home after the fish stop biting. Deciding that Johanna is probably awake from her self-induced alcohol coma by now.

When we get home Johanna is sitting on the couch with the TV on mute, her sunglasses on while nursing a beer. The best way to combat a hangover is with more alcohol she says. As Gale tends to the fish on our small patio outside, I take a quick shower. When I get out everyone is still in the where I left them; Gale removing scales and Johanna looking like a corpse on the sofa.

“You need anything?” I ask.

“I need bread to soak up all this acid in my stomach. It’s going to kill me.” Johanna admits.

“I think liver failure will kill you first,” I tease. “We don’t have any bread. Want me to pop by the store and get some for you?”

“I don’t want any old store bought bread. I want the real stuff.”

I’m confused for a moment. Isn’t store bought bread the real stuff? And then I realize it. “Oh no. No, I’m sorry.”

“Please. It’s not like he’ll be there anyways,” she begs.

“But his dad might.”

“He never works on Sundays. I’ve been in there enough to know. It’s always that one girl. I think her name is Twig or something?”

“Twig?”

“Please. This is life or death. Your best friend is dying.”

I roll my eyes. “Fine.”

***

Johanna’s Honda is a lot faster than my car so I get to Mellark’s faster than I wanted to. The amount of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine pumping through my veins is enough to send a large bull into a frenzy. All of my cells are screaming at me to turn around but the stubborn side of me wins, it always does. I rationalize with myself that Peeta won’t be here nor will his dad. If Will is here then I’ll just be polite, buy his bread and leave with no harm done. It’s not like I can’t shop in his store just because his son and I broke up, he may not even know.

I push through the front door and a small bell signals my arrival. There is another person checking out but besides them and the lady at the cash registerI’m the only one here. I calm down immediately once I see that there isn’t any danger. I scan the baskets of bread and decide on an asiago, pumpernickel, and a kind of nut bread with raisins and twelve different types of grains.

By the time I get to the checkout I’m the only one here. The lady behind the counter, whose name tag says Bonnie and not Twig, smiles at me.

“Is this it for you?” she asks. “We’ve got homemade spinach and artichoke dip that goes great with the pumpernickel. It’s always one of our biggest sellers.”

“Why not?” I decide to splurge.

Bonnie is just finishing ringing up the last of my items when a different chime—the one from the employees only door—goes off.

“Hey Bonnie do you think we’ll need any more sourdough for today?”

It’s Peeta. He looks at me and stops dead in his tracks. My heart is beating erratically. First it stops altogether but now it’s at a mile a minute and the rest of my organs can’t seem to keep up with it. I’m lightheaded. Oh my god, I’m going to pass out.

“Katniss,” my name on his lips is no more than an audible whisper.

I take a deep breath, “Peeta.”


	20. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update at work while there's a loll.  
> thanks dandelionlass!  
> review review review!

I thrust a couple of bills into Bonnie’s hand and tell her thank you before I’m turning on my heel and all but run out the door. I only make it about twenty steps before I hear Peeta calling my name from behind me.

“You forgot your bread!”

I halt in my tracks and notice that I’m not carrying the paper bag Bonnie bagged everything in. I turn around just in time for Peeta to stop in front of me. He’s just as handsome as the night I saw him at Gale’s gallery and all of the times before. I want to punch him in the face for making me want to run my fingers through his stupid, perfectly mussed-up hair.

“Also you paid like ten dollars too much, so here’s your change,” Peeta extends his hand to give me the bag and my money.

“Uh, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

I turn to leave again when Peeta catches my hand to stop me.

“Can we talk?”

“About what?” I cringe at how harsh I sound.

“Us,” Peeta shrugs.

“There isn’t an ‘us’.”

Peeta sighs and runs his hand through his messy hair. “Maybe we can try again.”

“I thought you said that once I walked away we were done?”

“I know what I said,” Peeta snapped. “I’m sorry, just please can we talk? The bakery closes at six tonight so I can pick you up at seven. We can go anywhere you want.”

“I don’t know,” because I really don’t. My heart is shouting at me to say yes but my brain is refusing to let me say it.

“Please, I’ll only take an hour.”

I nod my head because my brain is still not allowing me to open my mouth in case my heart decides to jump out. Peeta smiles and turns back towards the bakery. I’m left pondering how the hell I’m going to explain this to Gale and Johanna. They’ve been working so hard on helping me get over Peeta and I thought that I had finally climbed over that hill. I was finally able to allow my mind to wander without being terrified that I’d start to think of Peeta. What kind of willpower do I have if I so easily said yes to seeing him tonight?

It turns out that it wasn’t hard escaping from Jo and Gale. After our dinner Johanna wanted to lie back down and Gale left because he didn’t have any work clothes here. So by six-thirty I’m sitting alone in the living room anxiously waiting for seven to roll around. Finally it does. I skip down the steps before Peeta even has a chance to cut the ignition. I tell myself that it’s so Johanna doesn’t find out that I was weak for a fleeting moment and not that I’m actually excited to see him again.

“When did you move, or really why?” is the first thing Peeta asks when I get into his car.

“Prim is never really home now and she was the buffer between my mom and I. Also Johanna was looking for a roommate.”

Peeta nods at my explanation. “Where would you like to go?”

“Somewhere public.”

Peeta just looks at me but we both know that a public setting would be one hundred times better than going back to his place. We end up driving to Pike Place Market. It’s Sunday and it’s late so most of the craft stores and bakeries are closed but the bars and restaurants are all still open. We settle in at a corner table that allows us privacy to talk but also is public enough that I don’t have to fear that I’ll end up ripping Peeta’s clothes off. We each order a beer and drink almost half of it before we even say anything.

“So,” Peeta begins. “How are you?”

“Really Peeta? You tell me that you want to talk to me and you ask me how I am?”

“Humor me please.”

“I’m better now,” I say simply.

Peeta nods his head. He knows that he isn’t going anywhere with small talk. It’s now or never.

“You terrify me.”

“Why?” I know most people are intimidated by me because of how accurate I am with a bow and arrow but Peeta’s never seen me shoot before.

“You push me so far out of my comfort zone. Never in a million years would I do this with another one of my subs, but here I am.”

“I was never really your sub,” I remind him.

“I know, yet another reason why you terrify me. I didn’t just bend all of my rules for you but I broke them. I should have known when I made love to you that first night that this would be different. I should have known when you met my family.”

Peeta takes a quick of his beer and runs a hand through his hair. He’s nervous and even in the dim lighting I can see a bead of sweat dancing across his hairline. I didn’t know Peeta could get nervous. Maybe I affect him just as much as he affects me.

“I didn’t have the best childhood. Yes, I am very thankful to my parents. They gave me the best environment to grow up in, don’t get me wrong. But I was seven when I was adopted and the things that happened before my parents, God, I wouldn’t wish them on my worst nightmare. When I was a teenager I was awful. I took out all of my frustrations on my parents and all of my classmates. I was expelled from a lot of schools for fighting. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I felt like I could breathe.”

“What made you feel like that?”

Peeta sighs deeply and downs the rest of his beer. “God, I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this. Cashmere isn’t just an old friend or a lady in my mom’s book club. I lost my virginity to her. I was her submissive for three years. I gave her complete control of my life until I was stable enough to handle it myself and then she taught me how to be a dominate not just sexually but with everything. She was my very first submissive and though that part of our relationship ended on rocky terms, I am thankful to her for saving my life.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “You’re thankful to her for saving your life?” I repeat back to him. “Peeta, she didn’t save your life. She took advantage of a young boy that had a terrible childhood. What she did is classified as rape.”

“I don’t see it that way,” Peeta shakes his head. “I would have ended up in jail if it wasn’t for her. But instead I got back into school, started up wrestling, and then began to work on my business. I owe her a lot.”

“You owe her nothing. If I ever see her again I can’t be held responsible for the things I say to her.”

It looks like Peeta wants to say something else on the subject of the evil Ms. Robinson but he doesn’t. “Anyways, control is very important in my life. That’s why I’m my own boss and why I’m a dominate and why I require contracts for everything. My boat never gets rocked until you came along like a hurricane and capsized it completely. You defied me at everything and I know that you didn’t mean to, it’s just who you are.

I got a new sub two days after you left. She was the best sub I ever had. She would do everything and anything I said. It wasn’t until we actually got into the playroom that I realized I was constantly waiting for her to test me. I wanted her to tell me no or talk back.”

“Why are you telling me this? I don’t want to know about all of the girls you fuck after me.”

“I haven’t fucked any girls since you. I’ve tried but you’ve wormed your way into my mind so completely that I can’t even get it up anymore without thinking about you and I refused to do that while trying to fuck another submissive. Whipping girls used to get me so hard but now I can do it all day without feeling anything. It’s thinking about your smart mouth that is the only thing that can get me off nowadays.”

“What are you saying?”

“What I’m saying is that I’d rather have a vanilla sex filled, real relationship and have no control with you than a contract relationship with the best submissive. It’s not going to be easy and there’s a lot of shit that you need to know but I’m not ready to tell you yet but if you just give me the time I think I can be who you want me to be if you’ll allow it.”

I’m frozen. Peeta is offering everything I want. He’s willing to give up the life he’s comfortable with in order to keep me in his life. I should be thrilled but there’s something in the pit of my stomach that is still scared.

“Peeta,” I start out slowly. I see the color drain out of Peeta’s face as I stop to try and think about what I’m going to say.

“Oh my god, you’re seeing someone. Oh fuck, I’m sorry. God, I can’t believe, I should have asked you first. I’m an idiot to think that you’re not dating. I’ll take you home, I’m sorry,” Peeta stumbles over his words profusely.

“I’m not seeing anyone,” I say quickly. “It’s just I’m afraid. I was miserable without you Peeta. There were times when I didn’t want to get out of bed. I’m not the type of person that lets herself be easily affected by people and that person I became scared me. I didn’t like that version of myself and now I’m at a good place. I still hurt at times but pretending to smile and act that I’m not hurting inside isn’t as exhausting as it used to be. What type of person am I if I just willingly go back to the person that made me feel like that?”

Peeta nods his head. I can see that I’ve hurt him but I can’t lie. Despite what Peeta thinks about me defying him, I was rather reserved in my thoughts. I can’t let the girl that I want and need to be get lost by the girl that Peeta sometimes makes me feel.

“I understand. We have a lot to work on before we can trust each other completely but in the mean time I’d like to get be your friend and get to know you and take you on dates and show you have chivalry isn’t completely dead.”

“I can be your friend.”

I half expect Peeta to kiss me when he drops me off. I half expect him to park the car and have his way with me. Of course he doesn’t. Peeta cuts the ignition and opens the door from me. We walk to the front door in silence and once we’ve gotten to the top of the stairs Peeta hugs me and promises to call me tomorrow. I wave goodbye and watch as he drives off.

“Where were you?” Johanna startles me as I walk in.

“What are you doing up?”

“I had to pee and noticed that you weren’t home. Where were you?”

“I was with Peeta,” I can’t lie to her.

“Why?”

“He was at the bakery and asked if we could talk once it closed.”

“And?”

“We miss each other.”

“So you’re back together?”

“No, we have a while before we get back together but for now we’re going to be friends.”

“I give it a week before you’re fucking him again.”

“Thanks for the confidence Johanna,” I say as I walk into my bedroom.

“It’s not a bad thing,” I hear her call after me.

I lock my bedroom door before Johanna has the chance to pester me any further. My mind is already racing a mile a minute without her incessant questions about my spur of the moment outing with a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed man named Peeta Mellark.

I change into my pajamas and before I crawl into bed and shut out the lights I contemplate texting Peeta good night or something. There’s an awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach so I decide against it. I shut off my phone completely and settle down for a fretful sleep, agonizing on what I might have just gotten myself into again.


	21. Likable Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am for abandoning you all for two months. These last two months have not been very kind to me. Plus I have been extremely busy and family has come and gone and come back again so I've had zero time to write. But I promise you that I will try my hardest not to make you got through that long of a wait again. I've already started working on the next chapter and my goodness it's a good one (wink wink)! Anyways thank you again to Dandelionlass for being so patient and make sure y'all review and tell me what you like or what you'd like to see in the next chapters to come!  
> xoxo,  
> Morgan / bakerboymellark

My stomach does a flip when Peeta’s name flashes on my cell phone screen. I was catching up on my DVR collection the next day. We don’t talk for long though we’re on the phone for almost an hour. Peeta isn’t the best at talking when he’s nervous or doing something new, and I’m not good at talking period so there are long lolls between our bursts of conversations. Right before the both of us decided to end the call, Peeta asked if it would be alright if we could get lunch on Saturday and I readily agreed.

I had all week to get excited for our lunch date. I also had all week to agonize about it. There has been a few times where Johanna has caught me worrying my lip while deep in thought. She’s the only one that knows about Peeta and I speaking again, and that’s only because she’s a sneaky bastard.

Finally, finally, Saturday has arrived and I have just less than fifteen minutes until I get to see Peeta again. It’s getting colder out and we’re just doing lunch. We have only just decided to become friends so I dress down; a cream sweater, a pair of faded jeans and black slip on shoes.

“Katniss!” I hear Johanna call. “Peeta’s here!”

I try not to rush as I make my way from my bedroom to the living room where Peeta and Johanna are casually making conversation, I only manage to catch the tail end.

“Don’t fuck it up Mellark, I’ll cut your precious jewels off and turn them into a necklace for myself,” Johanna threatens.

“Yes ma’am,” Peeta smiles. “Hello Katniss.”

“Hello,” I return.

We both stand there nervously until Johanna kicks us out claiming that Gale is going to come over and they’re finally going to have loud and uninterrupted sex again. I shudder at the thought.

Peeta takes me to a little restaurant by the water of Puget Sound. The wind is slightly chilly but the sun feels nice beating down on us so I suggest that we eat our lunch outside. We both decide on the grilled cheese and tomato soup claiming that it’s the best meal when you’rein the mood for something warm and comforting.

“How are you?” Peeta stumbles over his words.

“I’m good. I haven’t talked to Prim as much as I’d like but she’s just as busy as I am, with going to school and Dr. Aurelius wants to extend her internship. How’s everything for you?”

“I’m doing pretty good, work is slowing a tad now that I’m finalizing a few projects. I’m actually going out to Oroville next weekend to check out some of the crops that have been harvested, as well as my winery.”

“I didn’t know you had crops or a winery.”

“Uh yeah, I bought out a farm from a family that no longer had the means of maintaining it a few years back. They now manage the farm for me as well as the winery. More than half of the year’s produce go to shelter homes and what’s left the family sells to local markets or restaurants. It’s not one of the businesses that produce a lot of my money but it’s by far my favorite. I don’t make it up there enough during the year though, always too busy.”

“Wow Peeta that’s really amazing.”

“Thank you. It’s a breathtaking place. You’d really like it with all the hills and trees and creeks.”

“I’m sure I would. It sounds like heaven.”

“Want to go with me?”

“Go to your farm with you next weekend, just the two of us? Is that such a good idea?”

Peeta gives me a pointed look and sets his spoon back into his bowl of half eaten soup. “I do know how to control my urges. I’m not going to make up some rule of getting to know each other better only to whisk you away a few weeks later and ravage you in the middle of wilderness. There’s a cabin I built there, one of us can take that while the other stays in the farmhouse with everyone else so we won’t be tempted.”

“I wasn’t implying that you couldn’t control your urges.” Peeta gives me another pointed look, practically telling me not to be so dumb. “Okay, maybe a little, but I was talking about myself as well.”

“Maybe you’re right. I’ll show you another time.”

“Just because I think it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean I don’t want to go.”

Peeta smiles, “I’ll pick you up after work on Friday. We’ll come back late Sunday night.”

“That sounds like a plan.”

***

The week quickly goes by with many texts passing between Peeta and myself. Most of them are mundane texts like how our day went or what we are going to have for dinner, but I like them and look forward to seeing Peeta’s name pop up on my cell phone screen randomly throughout the day. We talk on the phone on Thursday night as we pack for our mini vacation. I’m nervous for this mini vacation since our last vacation ended with a disagreement and him leaving in the middle of the night. We’re not together-together though, nor am I under the pretenses that I am his submissive and have do what Peeta says.

Five o’clock on Friday rolls around and I’m flying out of the parking garage at work and make it home in a matter of minutes. I have just enough time to change from my professional work clothes into something more casual and far more comfortable before my phone dings, telling me that I have a text message from Peeta. It reads that he’s arrived.

I try not to fling open the door when he knocks, but I’m excited to see Peeta. His presence brings out the girly, nervous side of myself.

“Hi,” I smile.

“Hey,” Peeta smiles back. “You ready to go?”

I nod and reach for my bag that’s been sitting on the couch since I put it there this morning. Peeta takes it out of my hand and intertwines the other hand with mine until we get to his parked car on the curb. Haymitch is silently waiting behind the steering wheel as we climb into the backseat

“So I thought that it would be a lot faster to take the jet there instead of driving and then we can just rent a car and drive down if you’d like to do a bit of scenic driving on the way back home on Sunday, if you’d like,” Peeta adds to the end.

“Sounds alright with me.”

The drive to the airport is a quiet one. Peeta and I still don’t know exactly what topics are safe as we try to tread through these unclear waters of newfound friendship. I sing along to the car radio to myself instead but after I catch Peeta watching me and Haymitch stealing glances at me in the rearview mirror I stop.

The plane ride is just as the car ride was; quiet and filled with nervous grins every time one of us looked at the other.

“So how is work?” Peeta asks after a few failed attempts at making conversation.

“Different. Easier, now the Crane isn’t breathing down anyone’s neck. I got a promotion of sorts and Snow is allowing me work on the Nightlock project by myself. He’s never given anyone like me complete control on a project this big. I’m essentially my own boss for this and everyone was convinced I was sleeping with him.”

“You’re a hard worker, he must have seen something in you or Crane put in a good word before he left.”

“Or he knows that I was fucking someone who has the possibility of ending his career and gave me all this leeway in hopes of making you happy.”

Peeta looks crossly at me. “Katniss, I would never use my power in the company you work for to get you further in your career. Whatever reason Snow gave you that promotion, it was on your own.”

I don’t say anything back to Peeta. I want to believe him, but things don’t just happen for me. No matter how hard I work. I know that Peeta had something to do with the promotion whether he knew about it or not.

***

The drive to the farm was longer than the entire flight but I would have driven across the world to see such a breathtaking place. I imagined fields of different sorts of crops, and there are. Endless rows of different plants that are broken up by pastures of wild flowers and large trees to keep the cattle cool in the summertime. There are several barns and an old farm house at the end of the long dirt road.

“Here we are,” Peeta announces once he cuts the engine to our rented SUV.

As soon as Peeta collects our small bags from the trunk the front door to the farmhouse opens and a petite girl comes barreling out.

“Peeta!” She shouts and launches herself into his arms.

She has to be around Prim’s age, maybe a bit younger. Her skin is darker than mine and the elastic hair tie is doing nothing to keep her wild corkscrew curls from bouncing all over.

“Look at you!” Peeta looks at her at arm’s length. “You’ve grown a foot since the last time I saw you. You’ve got to be taller than Thresh by now.”

She giggles, “He’s gotten taller too.”

Peeta pulls her into a side hug and I can finally see the girl’s face. She’s definitely younger than Prim by maybe a year or two. “Katniss this is Rue. Her and her family run the entire farm. Is everyone inside?”

                Rue nods. “Yup. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you as well,” I smile.

“Come on, let’s go see the rest of the family.”

Rue is a dominate personality of this large household just as Prim is in mine. She chatters on and on about what she’s done in her last year of high school so far and what her plans are for the future. Her mother, Seeder, is at the stove stirring a large pot of gumbo with Julep, a whimpering five year old on her hip. The seven year old twin boys, Otto and Gaige, are fighting peacefully in the living room over an array of toys. Thresh sits quietly in the corner. He muttered a quiet hello as Peeta introduced to everyone but hasn’t said anything else. If I met him in an alleyway I’d probably run the other way just looking at how massive he is and when he’s not smiling kindly at his sister’s storytelling he’s got a frightening stare.

The only one that can cook better than Seeder is Peeta himself. The gumbo and rice is savory and the chunks of chicken and sausage and shrimp melt together in my mouth. I eat two helpings and think about getting more but I no longer have the energy to move so I stick with the two bowls I’ve already had.

When Julep finishes her food, Seeder bids us a good night and begins the nightly routine of getting her youngest into the bath and then bed. The conversation continues but keeps getting broken up by long pauses for yawns until Thresh can coax Rue up to bed as well.

“Would you like to stay here tonight?” Peeta asks me right after everyone has gone to bed. “There are two bedrooms at the cabin. I think you’d like it there.”

I can’t be sleeping in the same bed as Peeta but I think sleeping under the same roof would be nice. “Show me the cabin.”

We put the bags back in the SUV and drive up a forgotten path that leads deep in the woods. A large cabin with floor to ceiling windows and real wood siding sits along a small portion of the river that travels down to empty into a massive lake. On the inside everything is spacious and open with dark wood and stone running throughout the house.

“Peeta, this house is beautiful!”

“Thank you, I helped design it. Never really was my taste but it felt right. Maybe it was destiny because fate knew that I would bring you here.”

I roll my eyes and laugh at his cheesiness.

“The master bedroom is right through those double doors,” Peeta points towards the end of a hallway where large double doors are shut. “My room is over here.”

Peeta kisses my temple softly then heads into another part of the house. I open my bedroom door and gasp in amazement. The fireplace is already lit and the crackling of the logs and the smell of fresh pine burning sends tingles throughout my body. The large bed dominates the room and outlooks a balcony that gives off a breathtaking view of the river and forest around it.

I scrub off the small amount of makeup I have on and change into the pajamas before snuggling into bed. I was so tired but now I can’t sleep. The bed is like a cloud and my eyes are heavy but for the life of my I can’t fall into subconscious.

Finally I give up and pull my phone off the charger and send off a text message and wait. Minutes later I hear footsteps and the creaking of the door open. Peeta’s face and naked torso is bathed in orange light from the fire.  We don’t speak as he climbs into bed and pulls me close to his body. I nuzzle into his firm chest and as if a switch was flipped, I fall into a deep sleep.

***

I awake up the next morning to the actual sound of birds chirping. The spot beside me is cold and in Peeta’s place is a note stating he had some things that he had to get done but I was to enjoy the breakfast he made for me.

I lazily get ready, starting with throwing my hair up and having a soak in the egg-shaped tub with a mug of tea while I read one of the books I found on the bookshelf. When I finish my bath I dress in jeans and a warm sweater with my favorite boots that I use to go hunting with Gale. I just get done eating the sticky bread muffins when Thresh knocks on the sliding glass door.

He slides the door open after I motion him in. “Would you like some?” I ask as I point to the rest of the bread.

“No thank you, Peeta brought down a loaf for us. He sent me to show you around though. Rue’s got him running all over the place and showing him how well everything did this year. He apologizes that he can’t show you himself but says that I could probably do a better job.”

“Alright, what’s first on the agenda?”

Thresh first gives me a crash course on how to work the ATV I’m driving before we’re off revving up and down the mountain range. Thresh points out various spots where wildlife is frequently spotted there. We travel down the river until we reach the mouth of the lake where we stop of a water break.

“So how did you come to meet Peeta?”

“He hasn’t told you?”

I shake my head. “He’s a private person; he doesn’t like talking about himself much.”

“My father died almost six years ago when I was sixteen. Rue was only twelve, the twins had just turned one. My mom didn’t even know she was pregnant yet. She couldn’t maintain the farm while trying to raise us while being pregnant. I had the best intentions but I started breaking and entering and started stealing things to sell in order to get money. Basically one night I found myself in Seattle one night and I broke into Mellark’s bakery for some food. Peeta was there. I thought for sure he was going to call the cops. I mean eventually he drove me to the police station and I turned myself in for a string of robberies but he knew the judge and instead of going to jail I got probation and community service.”

“And how did he come to buy this place?”

“When Peeta asked why I was stealing stuff I told him it was to provide for my family. No one wanted to hire a sixteen year old. My mom had put the farm on the market and I couldn’t bear to see someone else living in a home that’s been in my family for as long as anyone can remember. I had gotten home from my last day of community service and saw Peeta walking around the farm with Rue. He decided that he was going to buy the place as well as all of the land around it. First I was pissed off because he knew our story and I didn’t want anyone buying the place, ya know?”

“But when Peeta explained how he wanted us to stay and maintain the farm for him because he doesn’t have a clue how to run a farm and he’s got other fancy businesses back in Seattle. He wanted most of the harvest to go to charity so no one has to steal to feed their family but then we got to keep the rest either to sell or to can for the winter. Peeta’s become part of our family. He comes up four times a year and calls about once a month. Rue is in love with him, thinks Peeta is God or something. He wrote this outstanding recommendation for her and now can pretty much choose whatever college she wants to go to. He wanted me to go to college as well but I wasn’t having it. School wasn’t my thing so instead I began managing the farm and one of the farmers we had hired had a dream of starting up a winery and since Peeta likes wine and more money than he knows what to do with, bought a small place in the next town over and that guy gets to go work and taste wine all day. The wine is really good and all of the local businesses only use Peeta’s wine so it was a great investment. A lot of people around here owe Peeta everything they have, I know I do.”

I am at a loss for words. I truly don’t know what to say. There aren’t many people that are like Peeta. There aren’t many people that are as broken as Peeta and still be able to be so selfless. It makes my heart swell and my eyes tear up just thinking about it.

***

I haven’t seen Peeta all day. Even when Thresh and I return to the farmhouse for a late lunch, him and Rue as well as the twins are busy looking around the entire property to make sure everything's running smoothly. I’ve retired to my bedroom at the cabin by the time he walks in.

I immediately jump out of bed and head to the kitchen where I can hear him searching around the fridge for something to snack on.

“Hey sorry I was out all day. I didn’t mean to be, Rue and the boys just get excited when I come up and want to show me everything they got to help do.”

“It’s fine. Thresh was a great host. He showed me a lot. I love it up here, we should come back for a longer stay next time.”

“Yeah?” Peeta smiles.

“I’d love to come back and stay for a week in the spring. I bet it’s beautiful.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

I sit on the counter while Peeta makes himself a sandwich. As he eats it with one hand, his other hand rests on my bare knee. It’s a thoughtless touch but it sends shivers up and down my spine. I think about to the story Thresh told me this morning and the warm feeling I feel while watching Peeta eat only grows.

“What?” Peeta asks self-consciously as I stare at him. “Do I have something on my face?”

I shake my head no. “I’m just really happy you asked me to come with you.”

“I’m happy you said yes. I didn’t think you would. I don’t want you to think that I’m pushing us too far.”

“You’re not pushing at all. I am happy with the way things are happening.”

“What is going to happen next?”

“We’ll go to bed together, we’ll wake up together. We’ll get ready and take a hike to the lake together. Together we’ll say goodbye the Seeder and the family then we’ll drive to Seattle together. You won’t be ready to drop me off and I won’t be ready to go home so you’ll invite me back to your place and we’ll go to bed together again.”

“I like that plan.”

Peeta kisses my forehead before helping me off the counter. We do exactly what I say we should do. Peeta strips down to his boxers and we climb into bed together. We waste no time with staying on our respective sides of the bed and scoot straight into the middle until we’re wrapped up in each other completely. My subconscious should be screaming at myself right now. She should be saying _“Stop! It’s too fast. You’re just friends, remember?”_ but she’s been missing the feeling of being safe in Peeta’s arms just as much as I have.

 


	22. Foreboding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Hell! This is a filler chapter. I started writing what will be chapter 23 and decided that I needed a bridge between the last chapter and the one I was writing. But at least it didn't take me a month to update and this chapter is kind of important, in a way. Naughty things happen in the next chapter so everyone keep their panties on, smut will come!  
> Thanks again to dandelionlass, make sure you go check out all of her fics.  
> Thank you for all of the reviews and continuing your support.  
> Be my friend on tumblr @ bakerboymellark.

After Peeta shared the farm with me all I wanted to do was share a piece of me with him as well. So the next Saturday, I yank Peeta out of bed just before dawn and drive him to the one place I’m happiest.

“Jesus, Katniss, slow down!” Peeta pants. “I’m not as fast as you are.”

I slow down fractionally but I am too excited to wait for him fully. I continue to race up the trail, leaving Peeta in my dust. When he finally catches up I’ve got my arms stretched up in a ‘ta-da’ motion.

Peeta takes in his surroundings quietly. From the tree house, to the lake, to the various targets, Peeta surveys it all with an awe-like expression on his face.

“You made all of this?”

“Gale and I, yes. After our fathers died this kind of became our safe haven. We would come here to get away from whatever was bothering us in the real world. Time has a way of standing still here.”

“I can see that. It’s beautiful here; too bad I didn’t bring a sketch book.”

I beam up at him and produce a new sketch pad as well as an assortment of colored pencils from my bag. I bought them earlier this week as a sort of present. Peeta can sketch while I practice shooting.

We spend the entire day out here. I shoot my bow for a good hour while Peeta takes a seat under a tree and begins to draw. After a while, I take a seat next to him and simply watch, then take a short nap. Peeta wakes me to have lunch then we’re back to sitting in comfortable silence watching the sun get higher and then lower in the sky until the nocturnal animals start to come out of their dens and we pack it up for the day. Peeta is enthusiastic about wanting to come back soon.

***

I wake up in a panic with a weird feeling in the deep pits of my stomach. It immediately pulls me out of the deep sleep I was just in. Peeta is still lightly snoring beside me; he had a nightmare earlier in the night but now seems to be sleeping peacefully. I can’t say that I’m not envious of how easily he can go back to sleep after his nightmares. I’ve never been able to do it.

I didn’t have a nightmare however. Something else woke me up. My senses are tingling and I feel myself going into hunter mode. I strain my ears to listen for anything out of the usual as my eyes adjust to the dark room. There’s nothing.

Peeta rolls over and searches for me in his sleep. I quietly kiss his temple then tip toe out of the room. The kitchen lights are all on as well as the foyer lights. Haymitch is standing in the middle of the kitchen, downing a bottle of water.

“What are you doing up?” I startle him.

“Fucking hell, girl,” he clutches his heart over his ragged shirt. “It’s not natural for a person to make no noise.”

“Sorry. I couldn’t sleep. You?”

“An alarm went off. Just checking to make sure everything is in order. I didn’t see anything on the cameras but I’ll probably stay up a little bit longer and watch. It’s not often that we have an alarm go off.”

“Which alarm was it?”

“Home invasion. I’m sure it’s nothing, no need to go and wake Peeta. The boy needs his sleep, he hasn’t gotten nearly enough lately. Go on back to him.”

I do what Haymitch says simply because I have no other purpose in the kitchen. Haymitch says that everything is fine and I believe him. I slip into bed and Peeta immediately wraps his arms around me. Sleep doesn’t come as easy as I hoped but eventually, with a lot of tossing and turning, I enter a fretful slumber.

***

When the morning comes Peeta and I begin our daily schedule. He gets up, showers, dresses, and then kisses me awake so I can shower and dress. After our shower we have a quick breakfast together before getting into separate cars and driving to work. Haymitch didn’t mention the malfunctions of the alarms and neither did I. Peeta has back to back business meetings today and he already has enough on his plate. He doesn’t need to add the fear of his house not being safe to the long list of things that will give him premature heart disease.

Unfortunately my morning routine is disrupted when I get to work. Normally Johanna is at my desk ready to talk my ear off about something she read or saw the night before, but instead there is a different girl. Someone I’ve never met before.

“Can I help you?” I ask kindly.

“Mr. Snow sent me to assist you on the Nightlock project,” she says back.

“I thought he gave me free reign on it? I’m sorry but I don’t really need an assistant.”

“You’ll still have free reign, he just wants it to be finished sooner than originally planned. He thought four hands would be faster than two,” the girl wiggles her fingers to show emphasis.

“What’s the new deadline?”

“As soon as possible.”

It turns out that the new girl’s name is Clove. She’s alright; she doesn’t seem to be the talkative type. There’s something about the way she watches me that makes me feel uneasy. It’s very calculating and methodical. I try to go about my business and forget that she’s there but sometime after lunch Clove decides to start to open up. At this point forgetting her existence is nearly impossible, especially when she starts to ask about Peeta.

She knew about Peeta, which I found weird. But, she explained that she saw a photo of us in a paper from Prim’s high school graduation and is familiar with some of his work, so I let it go. As the day goes on, however, her questions and comments grow more personal. She asks what my true feelings are for him and  if we plan on getting married, if we are in a relationship at all, or are we just seeing where things go.

“I don’t really like talking about my personal life. Peeta and I are together and we love each other, but marriage isn’t in the picture yet. Maybe in the future,” I try to shut her down.

“Peeta doesn’t seem to be the marrying type.”

“Excuse me?”

“He just seems like a million dollar play boy, like the rest of them. Fuck them silly, make them fall in love, leave them when they have nothing left to give.”

“Well looks can be deceiving.”

***

It’s unusual for Peeta to already be home by the time I get home from work, especially when he’s got a full day of meetings and conference calls with people across the globe. But there he is on the couch with lounge pants on, a glass of wine, and his sketch pad.

“Hey. What are you doing home so early?” I unwrap the scarf from my neck and fold my coat across the back of a chair.

“Three of my conference calls got cancelled so I managed to reschedule everything for the morning so I could get home at a decent time for once. I don’t really feel like cooking though, want to order some take-out and split a bottle of wine?”

“I’d love that. I’ve had a really weird day. Snow gave me an assistant that I think may be a fan of yours. You are all she talked about. She wanted to know everything about our relationship, if we planned for marriage or if we’re just fucking casually. She thought you were one of those playboys. Are you really that famous that people are making assumptions about you?”

“Eh, I’d say I’m comparable to Scott Disick without the Kardashian’s hogging his spotlight,” Peeta jokes. “I’ve made a couple tabloids and I’m on a handful of those hottest bachelors list. I’ve given someone my autograph one time.”

“I’m sure that didn’t inflate your ego at all,” I giggle.

“Neither does random chicks you work with idolizing me,” Peeta winks. “Don’t worry baby, you don’t need to worry about me running off with one of my fans. I only have eyes for you.”

I kiss Peeta sweetly then head for the kitchen to retrieve the take out menus. I’ll forget all about that stupid assistant until tomorrow, but for now Peeta’s plan to share a bottle of wine sounds amazing.


	23. This Bliss

We fell into a happy rhythm. The motions of our day to day life were so in sync with one another’s that I hadn’t noticed I was living at Peeta’s again until nearly December and all of my clothing and toiletries found their way back in the place they seemed to belong. It wasn’t until I let myself into Johanna and my apartment one day and realized that Gale had moved in. I even had an envelope that contained my rent money that had been automatically taken out of my bank account and deposited into Jo’s.

“Figured since Gale and I were going halves and you and Peeta were back together, that it wouldn’t be fair that I keep your money,” Johanna says as she hands me back everything I’ve given her in the last few months.

“I didn’t even realize I hadn’t been home in so long. I’m sorry that I’ve been absent. When did Gale move in?”

“About a week after you got back from your little vacation. Are you still in the rekindling phase of the getting back together part of your relationship? The make up sex is always the best.”

“We uh,” I stumble over my words, “we haven’t had sex yet.”

“What?” Johanna’s eyes nearly bug out of her head.

“I hadn’t even realized it. I’ve been busy at work and so has he and I guess we’ve just been focusing on everything but the physical part of our relationship because that was never a problem the first time.”

“Well maybe tonight will be the night that you remind him how good that part of your relationship was,” Johanna says with a wink.

***

I find Peeta in the kitchen when I get home. Finnick’s with him and I can barely utter a hello before Finnick’s tackling me with a hug.

“You’re back!” He squeezes me tightly.

“Uh, yeah,” I wheeze out. “I’ve been back for a couple of weeks now.”

“I called Peeta and asked what he was making for Thanksgiving on Thursday and he told me that he’d have to ask you and I hung up the phone and immediately drove here. I can’t believe you’re back. You are back right? This isn’t some sick joke right?”

“Yes Finnick, I’m back.”

“Good. I don’t like Peeta when he’s not with you. We went out a few times right after and—“

“Fin!” Peeta cuts him off right.

“Oh well you know. I just had to make sure with my own two eyes. I’m really glad you’re back Katniss, and not just because you make my brother a better person. I’ve missed that lethal look.”

I tell Finnick goodbye as Peeta walks him to the elevator. I look around the kitchen to see what Peeta has planned for dinner. By the look of the bell peppers and onion on the cutting board and a skirt steak marinating I’m guessing fajitas. Peeta comes back into the kitchen with a frustrated look on his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry Finnick was being an ass.”

“How was he being an ass? He was just saying how much he missed me. I missed him as well.”

“But he didn’t need to bring up the fact that I immediately went out after the break up looking for someone to fuck. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve already told me about it, we weren’t together. Even if you did end up sleeping with her or any other girl, I’d still have no right to be mad so don’t apologize for anything.”

“How did I get so lucky for you to come back into my life for the second time?”

I shrug my shoulders and let Peeta wrap his arms around me. My hands settle just at his hips. I’ve found that that is a safe zone for me to touch him. Peeta won’t flinch away to immediately stiffen up when my hands start to wander.

***

I’m on my second margarita during dinner and I can feel myself growing braver. As I listen to Peeta talk about his day at work I watch him mouth move; his beautiful, kissable mouth. I know what’s going to happen tonight. Thanks to tequila and Johanna’s suggestion, I’m going to remind Peeta just how wonderful the physical part of our relationship really was.

I know better than to try to do the dishes. Effie thinks that if she lets me do them, Peeta will end up letting her go because I insist that I do the laundry and Peeta and I are already clean people so she doesn’t need to do much cleaning. Doing the dishes and going grocery shopping is really the only thing Effie has left.

I leave the plates in the sink and down the rest of the tangy drink before flashing Peeta a sultry smile and telling him I’m going to get into the shower before bed.

I half expect Peeta to show up mid shower and fuck me right there but of course he doesn’t. So when I get out of the shower I sift through my dresser for something scandalous to wear. Peeta never got rid of any of my clothes that he bought when I was still pretending that I’d be his willing submissive. I smirk when my fingers graze a scrap of soft orange lace. I slip it on and admire myself in the mirror. The bustier gives me just enough cleavage to make the sweetness of the baby doll teddy look extremely naughty. I quickly towel dry my hair and lotion my legs before covering myself in my silky robe and head out to find Peeta. I find Peeta in his study of course. I knock quickly then enter before I lose my determination.

“Hey, sorry I was just finishing up some e-mails. I’ll come to bed soon,” Peeta says without looking up from his computer screen. I want to kiss the wrinkle between his eyebrows away.

When I don’t say anything back to him, Peeta looks up at me. That’s when I drop my robe and show him what’s hiding underneath.

“Katniss,” he strains.

It’s like I floated over to where Peeta’s sitting behind his desk. I do not waste any time climbing on top of him, situating myself between him and the computer monitor. I run my fingers through Peeta’s hair with just enough pressure to make his eyes flutter shut. Once they close I make my descent and kiss him.

He opens his mouth immediately, allowing me full control. It’s not something that has ever happened but then again I’ve never been this forward before. I explore his mouth with my tongue, and nibble his lips harder and harder until Peeta offers me a small moan of pleasure. My reign ends quickly when Peeta’s hands come up to cup my face. He’s given me all he can handle at the moment and that’s fine as long as he keeps kissing me.

Down my neck, Peeta leaves a trail of kisses that makes my nipples pucker in anticipation. I hadn’t realized how hungry my body was for him. I begin to gyrate against the forming bulge in Peeta’s pants. It’s my turn to let out a satisfied moan now.

Peeta’s hand land on my hips and hold me still. “How do you expect me to behave myself when you’re moving against me like that?”

“I don’t want you to behave,” I push both of Peeta’s hands towards the inside of my thighs but they immediately retreat back to safer grounds and off of me completely.

“Katniss,” Peeta sighs. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t? It certainly feels like you can.”

“We haven’t talked about that yet. We’re going slow remember?”

“Peeta there’s slow then there’s going to reverse. Do you not want me?”

Peeta kisses me quickly and allows himself a few moments to grind against me. “Do you feel how much I want you? Never think that I don’t want to. I will always want you.”

“You have me right now. What’s the matter?”

Peeta places three kisses along my collar bone before resting his head there. “I’m afraid,” his voice is barely audible.

“Why?” My fingers immediately go to play with the hairs at the back of his neck.

“The last time we had sex was the day I lost you. I hurt you, betrayed your trust, and ruined our relationship. I’ve been so good at controlling my urges to hold you down and fuck you raw and God there are times where that’s all I want to do, but if I did I know there is a chance that I could lose you again and I’d rather become celibate than not have you in my life.”

“That day wasn’t solely your fault. I pushed you too far. We know our limits. I want you Peeta, right here and right now.”

Peeta nods his head and I kiss him again. We go slowly this time. We take our time working ourselves up again. I feel like it’s been hours and I’ve only tasted Peeta’s lips. I boldly take the top button of Peeta’s dress shirt and undo it. Then the next one. Peeta’s hands wrap around my wrists but I make sure that I hold the shirt away from his chest so he allows me to continue down the column of buttons until I’m raising up on my knees to make room to untuck the fabric from his slacks.

I palm Peeta through his pants until he’s bucking up into my hand. Peeta’s become bolder, kneading my breasts that have popped out of the bust of teddy. He’s tugging on my nipples until a wonderful shiver of pain shoots throughout my body and heads straight to my center. He sucks on my neck, continually switching to a new patch of skin in order not to leave a lasting mark.

Finally I pull his zipper down and tug the offensive material aside and extract Peeta’s favorite appendage through the hole in his boxers. I’ve missed the weight of him in my hands, I’ve missed how he feels inside me and I can’t wait a second longer. I position myself over him, barely pausing to move my panties to the side before sinking down completely. I suck in a lung full of air, oh how wonderful it is to be stretched and filled so completely.

“Fuck,” I moan out as I begin to rock back and forth. The friction of Peeta’s button against my clit has me twitching in pleasure.

“I should have made you come before. I’m not going to last long. I’ve missed you too much,” Peeta says something else but his words are lost as he begins to take turns laving my breasts with kisses.

“I’m not going to last long either just a little harder.”

On command Peeta begins to thrust against me and the slight change of movement has me reeling. I can barely catch my breath between each moan before they get caught in my throat. Peeta’s lifted out of the chair and sets me on top of his desk. He’s in full control now, holding onto my thighs as he presses them against his chest and begins to ram into me.

“Touch yourself,” he demands.

I make quick, hard circles around my clit until it becomes too much for me and Peeta has to take over. Peeta’s already quick pace is quickening meaning he’s just as close as I am. Ten more seconds and I’ll be there, I can feel all my muscles tensing and my nerve endings are inflamed. It’s the feeling of Peeta releasing himself inside of me that sets me off. I can’t believe we haven’t done this sooner.

“Fuck Katniss,” Peeta grunts and with one final thrust he sits back in his office chair, pulling me with him.

“We used to have great sex but oh my god, this was something else,” I say completely out of breath.

“Give me a minute and I’ll give you a proper fucking in bed.”

I grin because the Sex God I fell in love with is back.

***

Holidays have never been a big thing in the Everdeen household. Most of the time my mom has to work and picks up a box of stuffing and a rotisserie chicken for Prim and I to eat but this year Peeta had asked if she and Prim would like to come to Thanksgiving Dinner. The invitation stretched out to the Hawthorne family as well since I invited Johanna and she’s stringing along Gale and Rory and Prim are a packaged item still.

So everyone will be at Peeta’s for the first time ever, and it has my heart racing. What if Prim or Gale stumbled into the Red Room of Pain? I know that that room is under lock and key but my brain isn’t able to rationalize anything at the moment.

“Baby, I’ve had my family here many times before and they have no idea that room exists. Do you want to go see if it’s locked again?” Peeta asks me again because I’ve already tried wiggling the handle three times prior.

I shake my head. “I know it’s locked. It’s just that I like the bubble we’ve created here and once my family shows up, it’ll be popped.”

“Family is very important Katniss.”

I sigh, “I know it is. I’m thankful that I have my mother and sister even if my mother shouldn’t be counted as one.”

“Your mom is far better than some moms,” Peeta warns me. I don’t know his story about how and why he came to be adopted but I know that his mom was a real fuck up.

I offer an apologetic smile before turning to leave the kitchen to get dressed. Peeta’s already wearing a pair of dark wash jeans that make his butt look godly, a medium grey button up that is tucked into his jeans and a deep green skinny tie. I decide to match him and wear a chunky cable-knit sweater dress that is the same color as my eyes, I put on my forest green suede flats and line my eyes with a coal colored pencil and call it a day.

Finnick, Annie and their son Nick are the first to arrive. I haven’t seen Nick in person yet, only in the few pictures that Peeta has on his phone. He was born a couple days after I left and for just a few months old, he’s huge. Gale and Johanna arrive shortly after as well as my mother who has a bottle of the infamous Everdeen mulled wine that she hasn’t made in years. Rumor has it that both Prim and I were conceived after our parents shared a bottle of the stuff.

“Peeta you have such a magnificent home. It’s so large for just one person,” my mom says as Peeta shows her around the first floor of his pent house.

“Well Effie and Haymitch live here fulltime as well and Katniss is here now. I’m never here by myself so I don’t get too lonely.”

My mother smiles but doesn’t offer anything else to continue the conversation. Prim comes in with the rest of the Hawthorne gang. Vick and Posy are amazed at how high up they are. Their little faces are pressed up against the glass of the windows as they try to count all of the ant like cars that drive below.

When Will and Mags with Madge and Delly in tow it is announced that it is finally time to eat. I’ve been looking forward to this all day. Peeta has been up since early this morning tending to the turkey as well as the ham. The entire house smells divine. I load plate first with the meats then all of the sides I can manage to fit; the stuffing, potatoes, macaroni, candied yams, rolls, all of the casseroles, and gravy until my plate form a small mountain of food.

It is nice catching up with Peeta’s family. It’s even nicer when things pick up right where they left off. There was nothing awkward about sharing the dinner table with people who know about the nasty break up you had with the person you’re sitting next to. I’ve stopped worrying about my friends and family suddenly coming across Peeta’s and my secret room.

It’s nearly ten at night when everyone starts filing into the elevator. The time went by too quickly and I find myself looking forward to Christmas so our families can come together again.

“That wasn’t bad, was it?” Peeta asks while snaking his arms around me from the back. I have the sudden desire for him to take me up against the kitchen counter but Effie will start with the clean up soon and I’d hate for her to walk in on us going at it.

“Take me to bed?” I whisper.

“I have a better idea,” Peeta grins as he takes my hand and leads me up the stairs. The Red room of Pain is a much better idea.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a good one guys. I think we only have like 10-12 more chapters before I wrap things up. I'm already thinking about other plots so if you have something that you want me to write send me a message or write it in the reviews!  
> Thanks to dandelionlass for betaing.   
> All mistakes are mine, the characters belong to SC, the inspiration of the plot belongs to ELJ.   
> Find me on tumblr @ bakerboymellark


	24. Clove

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The healthcare system in America is not the greatest and there is still not a lot of studies or people that are familiar in mental illness. I'm on a trial and error of different medications. Some make me sleepy, some make me hyper, some elevate my mood swings so violently. But slowly I am coming back. I've got two and a half chapters already written so it's not going to be three months until you all get another update.  
> Thank you all for sticking me me through what I call my own 'Dark Days'.  
> And thank your dandelionlass for still being my beta even though I completely went MIA.

Peeta’s stuck at the office for the third evening in a row. When he tells me that he’ll most likely be home closer to midnight, I half-jokingly tell him he might as well just sleep there. Not wanting to spend another night on the couch eating a pint of Seattle’s finest ice cream by myself I decide to call up Johanna, and Madge and Delly and ask if they want to grab dinner and drinks.

I’m the last to arrive at the small dive called D4. It’s got an entire nautical theme going on with fishing nets strung from the ceiling as well as ceramic fish replicas mounted on the walls. Finnick was known for spending many of his youthful nights here, seducing girl after girl before Annie turned him into a one woman kind of guy. Finnick still visits about once a month because of how close he grew to all of the wait staff and owner. Plus he says that the fried mozzarella is out of this world good. 

“Sorry I’m late, traffic was a bitch and the incoming snow isn’t helping,” I say, unwrap myself from my coat and scarf.

“We were beginning to think that Peeta showed up and you got caught up getting your brains fucked out of your skull or something,” Johanna smirks. Ever since the night I begrudgingly admitted that Peeta and I lost our sexual groove since the break up and I took her advice that one time, she’s been trying to rub it in my face every chance she’s gotten.

“Gross! I don’t want to think about my brother having sex!” Delly scrunches up her face.

“I’ve thought about it,” Madge shrugs and Delly looks at her with wide eyes. “What? You can’t tell me that you’ve never found a guy attractive. It’s not sexual but Peeta’s got that sexy playboy thing going on and I can appreciate it.”

“How about we don’t talk about Peeta?” I ask with more annoyance in my voice than I mean. Despite the amazing sex we had that one time, we’ve both gone back to being dormant. Not because we want to be but because of outside circumstances.

“Are you two fighting?” Delly asks with concern.

“We’d have to see each other in order to be fighting,” I start. “It’s nothing, really. He’s working so much and I’m just fighting the fact that we are no longer in the honeymoon phase.”

“Peeta’s never had anyone but himself and that damned company. Sure there’s our family, and even Haymitch and Effie, but for most of his life he’s been a lone wolf. He’s probably still trying to figure out how to have a healthy balance between you and his job,” Delly explains. She’s probably right. Actually I know that she is. I just have to give ourselves time to adjust. I hate that I'm this clingy.

We make small talk while sipping our drinks. I decline at any decisions of an alcoholic beverage, much to Johanna’s annoyance, she was dropped off by Gale and he’s going to be picking her up, so she can drink as much as she likes and not worry about having to venture out in this weather and make it home in one piece. Sure I could always just call Haymitch and he’d be more than willing to pick me up all while making snide remarks about how women certainly can’t drive in this weather. I, however, do not want to listen to that so I’ll stick with the carbonated stuff. Johanna forgives me when I offer to split my dumpster fries with her and the Finnick famous fried mozzarella.  

Madge announces that during the political dinner her and her father are attending next week in London, England, she’ll be giving a speech that starts her new campaign to stop internet bully and body shaming. And to go along with everything, Delly has broken away from her shoe designs and created a line of clothing that looks good on both the rail thin to the overly curvy.

“What about you, Brainless? How’s your little project?” Johanna asks as she stuffs the last of my fries into her mouth.

“It’s going really good. We’re going to be moving to testing everything out. Snow really wanted it to be completed by the end of the year but I want to make sure that it’s one hundred percent before trying to get actual government approval.”

“And how’s Clove?” Johanna smirks.

“Who’s Clove?” Delly asks with concern when she sees my face.

I groan and before I can say anything Johanna jumps in. “She’s this really creepy girl that wants Peeta’s dick so bad. She always asks questions about him and it is super weird. Her and Katniss kind of look alike. Clove has brown eyes and is paler than Katniss but they’re about the same build and have the same hair color. They’ve perfected the resting bitch face and wear their annoyance for the world on their sleeve. They look more alike than Katniss and Prim.”

“We don’t look alike,” I snap.

“Suit yourself,” Johanna shrugs and begins picking bits of food off of Madge’s plate until Madge pushes it in front of her.

Gale comes strolling in not much later and gives Madge and Delly small hugs before engulfing me quickly then finding his place next to Johanna.

“You’ll never believe it Katnip, I let Rory use my laptop when he came to the house last week and in the browser history were searches for engagement rings.”

“What?” My eyes grow big.

“Yeah, I thought for sure that Prim would have to be the one to pop that question. She’s definitely wearing the pants in that relationship.”

“Has he said anything to you?”

“Not exactly but when I ask him about what he wants to do with his life he always includes Prim.”

“I hope that if they do get married they’ll wait until after Prim graduates.”

“What do you mean if? We’re going to be in-laws Everdeen, there is no doubt about it.”

I shake my head. The thought of my baby sister getting married is making me nauseous. Thinking about Prim getting engaged then married creates thoughts of getting engaged myself, and that is almost enough to make me throw up. I can’t think about that right now. Not when it’s so important to just live with Peeta in the moment and not worry about what else is to come; to let everything happen naturally.

I get home around midnight and judging by the empty parking space beside mine, Peeta is still stuck in the office. I think about calling him but decide that he doesn’t need any more distractions that’ll keep him from coming home sooner. Instead I call Prim; she should just be getting done at the hospital.

I get her voicemail by the time I step out of the elevator.

“Hey Primmy, I just wanted to catch up. I just got home from dinner with the girls and I’ll be up for another hour or so call me back if you get this before then. Love you, bye.”

When I hang up, that’s when I feel it. An eerie feeling of someone watching me. It’s odd that all of the lights are out. Normally at least one of them is one, especially if Effie is home.

“Effie?” I call out.

There’s no response. I walk further into the living room, reaching out to where I know where a lamp is and turn it on. I gasp out, clutching my heart. Clove is sitting on one of the large armchairs.

“How did you get in?”

“Peeta hasn’t changed the combination since I was here. He’s so precautious about everything; it’s so silly of him to overlook something that that’s small.”

“You know Peeta?”

“Oh yes, quite intimately. We have a long history. We were together for almost a year before he dropped me on my ass,” she says bitterly.

“You were one of his subs.”

“I was his best sub,” Clove bites. “He said it himself. We reached so many highs together,” she closes her eyes as if she was remembering everything Peeta had ever done to her. I grow uncomfortable. “After me there were a few subs, some only lasted for a few weeks other a couple of months. We ran into each other and I coaxed Peeta into one last romp and fuck I’m getting wet just thinking of all the dirty things he said to me. I thought I had gotten him back but then a week later I see his face in the paper with his hand on your hip. I knew that you were different from the ones after me. I knew that you would try to take my Peeta away from me.”

“He wasn’t yours to begin with,” I stutter out.

“And you think he’s yours?”

“Peeta loves me.”

“Peeta loves what you have to offer when you spread your legs.”

“We love each other. What we have is real.” I don’t know why I feel the need to defend my relationship to this crazy lady. I could easily just call the cops and have her arrested for breaking and entering.

“If he loves you then tell me, has he let you touch him? Have you gotten to feel the beating of his heart underneath your palm? I have, the feeling is glorious. His skin is so warm, Katniss.”

“You’re lying,” I say loudly. Peeta would never let this woman touch him.

“Can’t say that I am,” Clove says too sweetly. “I would tell you to ask him yourself but I don’t think you’ll get that chance.”

“Why?”

“Peeta and I are meant to be together. He’ll realize it sooner or later but he’ll never be able to see it while you’re in the way.”

I may be a hunter in my woods but now I am the hunted. Clove descends on me lethally, knocking me to the ground and wrestling for total dominance. I thrash back and forth but Clove is heavier than she appears and manages to trap all four of my limbs. Cool metal runs along my hairline followed by a hot trickle, down my cheek and along my neck.

“I don’t cause too much damage to your face, promise,” Clove laughs as she trails the knife further down. “I should ruin the things Peeta loves most. He’s a breast guy right?”

I try fighting Clove off again and this time I catch her off guard and manage to knock the knife out of her hand. I don’t keep the upper hand for long when Clove grabs a chunk of my hair and slams my head against the hard floor. Black spots form in the corners of my vision, they’re growing larger and larger while Clove’s manic laughter becomes fainter.

She won.


	25. Peeta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got the time to read everyone's feedback and I am so thankful for all of the support! I imagine a better group of followers for this story. Each and everyone one of you is helping me out during this difficult period of my life by sending me all of supportive messages. I love you all to the moon and back.   
> Thanks to dandelionlass!

**Peeta’s POV**

It’s the third fucking night in a row that I’m going to be stuck in this godforsaken office until well after midnight. Just the thought of not being at home with Katniss is enough to put me in a sour mood, let alone these fuckwads trying to figure out how to use Skype. I run a hand over my face as one of the older men manages to disconnect our call. I pour myself another drink. This is my fifth but I doubt it will be my last. Katniss will most likely be asleep by the time I get home anyways, so I don’t have to worry about any performances later tonight.

“Just call those old fuckers on the damn telephone and tell them we’ll work it out tomorrow morning when they’re airhead assistants are in. Maybe they’ll finally be good for something and show them how to work the blasted computer?” Haymitch groans from the lounge chair in the corner of the room. I had forgotten entirely that he was there.

“I wanted this deal to get done tonight. It’s been dragging far too long.”

“It’s going to keep dragging. The old bastards don’t know what they’re doing and it’s pissing you off and probably even them. Let’s all get some sleep and we’ll hash this out first thing tomorrow morning, alright?”

“But—“

“But nothing,” Haymitch cuts me off. “You could probably fly there at this point and it would be quicker than waiting for them to figure it out. You can lead a horse to water, Peeta, but you can’t make him drink.”

I groan and throw back the rest of my drink. I can no longer feel the burn at the back of my throat. I dial the number of the man I’ve been trying to have a face-to-face conversation with all night to tell him we’ll pick it up in the morning, eight o’clock his time.

For months I’ve been working on expanding my business. I went from a small mom and pop shop, to owning hundreds of restaurants around the world, to being the budget of many political campaigns, and now forming tons of nonprofit organizations in order to make the world a better place. Presently I’m hoping to find a cheaper, ecofriendly way to import and export all of our goods. I want Katniss to be the head of the operation, but I’m not going to bring any of this up until everything is set in stone.

The CEO of the company I’m trying to hash out a deal with seems elated when I tell him we’ll pick this up tomorrow morning. It annoys me further, however. He should want to secure this deal as soon as possible seeing that it could potentially gain him millions of dollars. It would be too bad for him if I decided to take my business plans to any of his competitors.

I sit in the backseat as my stomach grumbles, “Haymitch I don’t feel like making anything when we get home.”

“Dick’s?”

My mouth waters at the idea of cheap hamburgers and insanely good shakes. “I’m not opposed to that.”

We pull up to the brick building and immediately head inside to get away from the snow that is blanketing the roads. The inside is illuminated by a large, red neon sign that spells out Dick’s and has brightly colored table tops. Besides the employees, Haymitch and I are the only ones here.

We end up ordering the same thing: a deluxe, fries, and a strawberry shake. Once we’ve gotten our order, we take a seat at one of the corner booths and dig in.

“So,” Haymitch starts in between mouthful of fries. “How are you and Miss. Everdeen?”

“Katniss and I are fine.”

“You haven’t been getting much use out of that secret little room of yours. If I’m correct you’ve only ventured in your little sanctuary maybe once since she’s been back.” Katniss calls the playroom the Red Room of Pain while Haymitch calls it a sanctuary, I wonder what Effie calls it?

“We’ve been busy.” I shrug.

“Is it you or her that is afraid of going in there?”

I look up at Haymitch. His usual disheveled hair is in his face like always and, as per usual, he doesn’t bother to move it out of his line of vision. I remember the first day we met. It was at a charity pancake breakfast and he managed to sweet talk one of the ticket ladies into letting him in without a ticket for our unlimited pancake breakfast. Some people wanted to call the cops since he was stealing from a charity, but I made him more pancakes and we got to talking. He served in the war and was honorably discharged when he got news of his wife and kid dying from a car crash and couldn’t hold himself together anymore. He lost his family, his job, and all of his possessions within a couple of months.

I wasn’t taking pity on the drunken Vet when I asked him if he wanted a job acting as a bodyguard of sorts. I truly needed someone to watch out for me while my sole focus was anywhere but my surroundings. It only took a few weeks for Haymitch to become my best friend in a way. He was the first person I shared my life with, that got to know the real Peeta Mellark, and he didn’t give a rat’s ass if the real Peeta liked tying up pretty, consenting girls and doing whatever pleased him best.

“Probably me. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never been in a relationship before, and this is all so new and I’m fucking terrified. I’m not going to lie to you Haymitch, there was a small part of me that was happy Katniss left. That part of me would still be happy if Katniss left.”

“Do you love her?”

The question hits me square in the chest. Fuck, I know that I like being with her. I was miserable without her, but love? I don’t love. That is a foreign concept for me. I don’t know how nor can I love anyone. That part of me is well past the point of being broken.

“I care about Katniss.”

“Could you see yourself living the rest of your life with her?”

“Sure, if we just continued what we’re doing now.”

“So no marriage and no kids?”

I laugh. “Could you picture me with kids?”

Haymitch shrugs. “I never thought I’d see you in love.”

***

I’m completely stuffed with food and dead tired by the time Haymitch pulls my shiny car up next to Katniss’ beat up jeep. I want to get her a new car, something that doesn’t look like it’s on its last leg, but I know if I do, I probably won’t have my balls anymore. I chuckle at the thought and Haymitch gives me a curious side glance as we head to the elevator.

“Do you know when Effie will be home?”

“Her plane lands tomorrow morning. I plan to pick her up once I drop you off at the office.”

“Good, she deserved a vacation.”

One single lamp is on when the elevator doors open, which is odd. Katniss hates how big, open, and dark everything is and likes to keep at least three lights on while she’s home alone. I venture further into the living room and my heart stops.

Katniss is lying face up in the middle of the living room. There’s a dark crimson puddle pooling on the white floor around her head. I can’t breathe, or move, or function. All I can do is stand there and look helplessly as Haymitch checks her pulse and dials 911. I’m catatonic as paramedics push past me and assess Katniss before gently picking up her limp body and placing her on the stretcher.

I think one of the paramedics asks me if I want to ride in the ambulance with them. I nod my head in agreement, but Haymitch says that we’ll follow and he guides me to the elevator.

“Haymitch,” I manage to croak out. “I love her.”

“She’s a fighter, that one. She’ll be okay.” Haymitch puts a hand on my shoulder.

But will she?


	26. Hospital Beds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I'm combining 3 books into 1, the rest of this story will be a whirlwind of ups and down. I need to wrap this story up soon so everyone buckle your seat belts.  
> As always, thank you to dandelionlass!

There is something about the way Peeta is looking at me—or not looking at me rather. I’ve spent a total of eight days in the hospital so far, four in a medially induced coma and the other four forced to endure the awkward torture that is my life.

For all intents and purposes, Peeta is the loving and doting boyfriend that everyone thinks that he is. He’s practically moved into the small hospital room with me. There’s a rollaway cot by the window that houses his suitcase beneath it. A nightstand has been turned into Peeta’s desk where his phone and laptop are currently charging. Every single business call or Skype meeting is done with Peeta sitting on the chair that’s never left the right side of my bed.

The very few times Peeta has stepped out of the small room, normally to fetch us something to eat or switch out clothes, Prim, my mother, even my doctor commented on how supportive he has been. I’m a very lucky lady they all say. Yes, while Peeta is sitting by my side and listening to the doctor intently, he’s not really there.

The times that I reach out and for him, Peeta subtly shifts so I can no longer touch him. While looking at me he makes sure he limits direct eye contact to just a fraction of a heartbeat. When we’re alone, the only thing that fills the rooms are the beeps of my monitors accompanied by the TV that plays a constant loop of bad daytime soap operas.

I’m not the only one who has noticed Peeta’s behavior, so I can’t be blamed for just being paranoid. The times that Haymitch is in the room with us, sometimes I’ll catch him staring the two of us, waiting for me to explode or for Peeta to sink further inside himself. I want to get Haymitch alone but it hasn’t happened yet, he makes sure of it. Haymitch knows why Peeta’s acting the way he is but he won’t be the one to tell me why.

The only distraction I have from Peeta is Prim, who along with our mother, visit far too often. It doesn’t help that I’m trapped in my mom’s place of work and Prim’s extended internship locale. When Prim isn’t making her rounds or in a lecture for school, she is occupying a chair at the foot of my bed. Normally she's typing away at her laptop all the while filling the silent room with her chatter. Peeta talks to Prim just fine. He even talks to my mom without hesitation. He gets sports updates from my doctor even though he doesn’t follow any particular sport.

If the quiet days are bad, the nights are like a nightmare. Peeta kisses my forehead then retreats to his own cot. I’ve asked him twice if he could lay with me. The first time he told me there was no room and he didn’t want to hurt me, the second time he repeated himself adding not to ask again. On the third night I wanted to ask again just in spite of him but decided against it. I didn’t want him in my bed anyways.

Tonight though, that feeling of missing him is back. I can’t take it anymore. I have to do something.

“Goodnight,” Peeta finally powers off his laptop and clicks the power button on the TV remote. I close my eyes as he kisses my forehead, silently praying that he’ll bend just a little further and kiss my lips.

I don’t say anything as Peeta strips off his grey wool sweater and khaki’s. I pretend not to feel the familiar stirring in the pit of my stomach when Peeta’s muscles flex as he pulls a tee shirt over his head and yanks his pajama pants up and over his toned butt.

I feel like I waited centuries after Peeta lies on his cot facing away from me but it’s probably only been a few minutes. “Peeta?”

Peeta makes a noise in his throat to indicate that he’s recognizing that I’ve spoken to him without actually speaking to me.

“Will you sleep with me tonight?” my voice is small and childlike, not the normal for me.

“I’ve told you this before, Katniss,” he says my name as if he’s actually disappointed in me.

I wait a few more minutes, allowing the hurt to wash over me. The hurt that maybe he no longer wants me. Clove was right all along, I can’t give Peeta what he truly needs. The hurt is replaced, fueled by my anger towards him. He’s not the one that was almost killed. He’s not the one who is lying in the actual hospital bed. He can’t tell me what will or will not hurt me, and him sleeping beside me, no matter how small the bed, certainly will not cause me any further damage.

I huff loudly, thankful that they took my IV’s out of my arms and hands earlier today. I stand up still a little wobbly and unsure of footing but once I’ve regained my balance I begin to work my way around the bed to where Peeta is avoiding me.

“Katniss what are you doing?” Peeta immediately sits up in bed once I’m standing over him.

“If you won’t join me in my bed, I’m going to join you in yours,” I say defiantly.

“Katniss, no,” Peeta begins. “Get back into bed. Stop being so childish.”

Those four words set me off. “You do not get to call me childish, Peeta Mellark. You’ve been the one that can’t even look me in the fucking eyes anymore! You are the one that’s been distant and cold and acting like a child!”

Peeta stands and this is the closest I’ve been to him in so long. He was so busy before I wound up in this hospital that the actual psychical encounters we’ve had can certainly be counted with just a couple fingers.  “Distant? I’ve been with you twenty-four-fucking-seven!”

“Your body has been here but you haven’t!”

“I don’t even know what that means. The doctor was thinking of releasing you tomorrow under your mother’s watch but maybe I need to talk to him about another brain evaluation.”

“Oh so now you’re calling me crazy as well?”

“I’m not calling you crazy. Maybe a little irrational.”

“Why won’t you sleep in my bed?”

“Because,” is all Peeta can say firmly before his sentence trails off.

“Was she right? You’re realizing that she’s right, aren’t you?  That’s why you won’t touch me or look at me.”

“What are you talking about?” Peeta runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“Clove said that I could never give you what you truly needed. You can deny and say that you’re fine with a vanilla relationship but you aren’t. You need what I can’t give you. You need only what she can.”

Peeta looks at me like I’ve let all the air out of him.

“She said that you loved her. You did, didn’t you?”

“I thought that maybe eventually I could have.”

“I’ll drop the charges against her in the morning,” I work hard at keeping the tears and emotions locked deep inside me. “You should probably go. Haymitch can get your stuff in the morning. Do not even think about paying for the hospital bills.”

Before Peeta can get a word out I turn and lock myself in the adjoining bathroom. I turn on the bathtub to drown out the noise of me letting out the first sob. The pain is worse than any pain I remember from that night. I let it all go. I tell myself that this will be the only time I allow myself to cry over Peeta Mellark.

I’m not sure how long it’s been since I locked myself in the tiny bathroom but I know it has to have been longer than an hour because my tears have long since stained my cheeks and the snot is dried up in my nose. I wash myself and prepare for a sleepless night. Maybe I’ll call one of the nurses in and she can give me something that will force me to sleep.

The door is stopped halfway when I go to open it. Panic runs through me and for a second I think that Clove is back to finish me off but realization slowly sets in. Peeta’s sitting against the opposite wall of the bathroom door. Legs sprawled out in front of him, preventing the door to be opened all the way.

“You haven’t left yet.”

“And I’m not going to,” Peeta climbs to a standing position. “I’m sorry that my actions put those thoughts in your head. You were almost killed and now you think that I’m going to go run off with the girl that tried to do it. Fuck, I’m such a fucking asshole.”

“Why are you being distant?”

“I don’t deserve you Katniss.”

“So you aren’t going to run off with Clove but you are leaving me, right? You couldn’t have just left a note or told Haymitch to tell me later? I won’t let myself cry over you anymore, I hate crying.”

“I don’t want to leave you but with that being said I think you need to put some serious thought into being with me. I have to distance myself from you because I need you to make that decision on your own and I know if I got into that bed with you, touched you at all, or even fucking looked at you for too long, I’d do everything in my power to convince you to stay with me.

You almost died because of me. I might as well have been the one to do it. I walked in and saw you in a puddle of your own blood. You were fucking ice cold! I was convinced that you were dead. How can anyone lose that much blood and still manage to be alive? I couldn’t do anything but look at you the four days you were out. Every flutter of your eyelid, every hitch in your breath had me on fucking edge ready to scream for the doctors. All I could think about was you and the blood and the fact that my past did this to you. I told myself that when you woke up, being with me would be your choice. I can’t be selfish when it comes to you because me being selfish was what almost got you killed.”

I sit on the edge of the bed. I’ve done too much standing and too much thinking today.

“But you just said that you loved her.”

“I could have loved her eventually. If I worked at it every day and I reminded myself. It’s not like that with you. I have to think more about breathing than I do loving you. It’s natural, not forced.”

“You didn’t do this Peeta, Clove did. I don’t think she’s well either. I think she’s a threat to not only me or you but to herself. You need to get Haymitch to find her before she does something drastic.”

“She needs to be locked up at Alcatraz. Left on that fucking rock to die by herself. I want that. I’ll kill her myself if I ever see her again.”

I reach out and grab Peeta’s hand. A rush of something flows through me. It’s a shock of calmness, or love, or desire. Maybe a little of everything but I can’t let go. I’ll never let go.

“Peeta will you sleep with me tonight?” I ask in the same timid voice I used earlier today.

I can tell that there is conflict falling over Peeta. He wasn’t just saying that he didn’t want to hurt me by taking up too much space in the small bed because he wanted to distance himself, he truly means it.

“You won’t hurt me, I promise. I’m practically healed.”

That settles it. Peeta rounds the bed and slides underneath the covers on his side. The moment our bodies touch it’s like a fire explodes. A hunger engulfs me.

My hands snake up Peeta’s neck where the safe zone is and into his hair where I control his head movements for the time being. I bring him closer to my face until our lips touch gently at first. I want more, and more, and more. I sink myself deeper into Peeta. Melting into his firm body, I tangle my legs with his. I can feel his hardness grow. I wonder if he’s taken care of himself at all. I want to take care of him now.

As one of my hands lets go of Peeta’s mane, it travels south, hovering past his pecs and his abs to the drawstring of his pants. One little tug and I’ll finally have my hand on what my body is truly craving. But Peeta stops me.

“No,” he says sternly.

“Yes,” I push back.

“You are in the hospital Katniss, you have brain trauma. No means no.”

“I _had_ brain trauma, the tests all came back clear. I want you Peeta, God I want you so bad. See?” I take his fingers and immediately drag his hand underneath my hospital gown and past my soaking panties. I buck my hips towards him, loving the sensation of him being this close to me.

I try convincing Peeta. “Have you ever fucked anyone in a hospital before?”

“No,” his voice seems strained.

“Not even in the elevator or a storage closet?”

“No.”

“Another first to add to the list then.”

“You’ll be the death of me woman.”

Peeta begins to move his fingers in tight circles against my clit causing a rippling effect of pleasure throughout my entire body. I maneuver my body so that Peeta is now beneath me; with his hand still up the skirt of my hospital gown, slightly rocking his pelvis into my thigh. I feel like a horny teenager. I’m grabbing at Peeta through his pajama bottoms, squeezing him in my palm and practically salivating at the thought of taking him into my mouth.

“No sex,” Peeta mutters under his breath.

“Yes sex,” I protest.

“I could hurt you; pull out one of your stitches or something.”

“Well it’s a good thing we’re already at the hospital,” I smirk before playfully biting Peeta’s lip. My nimble fingers work to pull down his pants just over his butt. Peeta lifts his hips to help me with no objections.

I finally have him in my hand with no barriers of clothing. I originally wanted to take my time with this since it’s been before Thanksgiving that Peeta and I have sex. The holidays are an extremely busy time for him with all of the charity works he loves doing and we’ve only managed to maybe get a get each other off with our hands or mouths a few times in passing. Now that I have Peeta right where I want him though, I don’t think I’ll be able to prolong this. I need him now. I need him inside me.

I position myself over him after batting his fingers away and slowly begin to sink down. Oh fuck, this is real magic. All that abracadabra bullshit is nonsense. I lift myself up using my knees until we’re almost completely apart then slowly sink back down again. I continue my slow rhythm until the need for more friction becomes too much and I begin to pull myself down harder and faster each time.

“Slow,” Peeta grasps my hips to stop me. “That movement probably isn’t good for your head. Move back and forth like this,” Peeta directs my hips in a grinding motion. “Lean forward. It’s okay to put your hand on my shoulders.”

I do as Peeta instructs and tentatively place my hands on his shoulders to help myself gain the proper momentum. We’ve only ever been in the position a handful of times and during those times my hands were normally tied up and Peeta was still doing all of the work but now I feel like the control is equal. My clit rubs against Peeta’s pelvic bone and it’s enough pressure to cause me to almost lose my fucking mind.

The familiar tingling sensation begins at my spine and works outwards until I’m a ball of energy, strike me the right way and I’m sure I’ll light on fire. I sing for Peeta, I’m sure if someone were to walk past our closed door at this very moment they’ll be able to know exactly what is going on. I don’t care though, they can come in and watch and I still wouldn’t stop.

My breath is still caught in my throat when Peeta slows his hips. I can feel him leaking out of the seal we’ve created with our body and it sends shivers down my spine.

Peeta goes to roll me off him after I’ve collapsed onto his chest. “Not yet,” I plead, with my ear pressed against his heart so I can hear the strong drumming of his heart.

“You may think that you don’t deserve me but I know that there are times where I don’t deserve you,” I whisper quietly. “You’re too good of a person to have all of this self-doubt. You could be a money hungry, power obsessed asshole but instead you are kind and generous. I know you love all of your cars and your house and your expensive toys but I also know that you can live without those things as well. You deserve the world Peeta; stop denying people when they try to give it to you.”

“You thinking that is exactly why you’ll always be too good for me.”

“One of these days, I’ll make you see the man you really are but for now will you stay with me?” I cling myself closer to him in case Peeta tries to get up and flee to his own bed.

“Always.”


	27. Another Thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last time I was in May and before that I stated that I was slowly working to becoming myself again but I tripped and I fell and I hit the floor hard. There are no words on how sorry I am for leaving everyone hanging or even how this story has unfolded. I started this story when I still had control of my demons and the vicious things inside of me but somewhere along the way, all of those monsters got the best of me and this story took a hit. There will probably only be three more chapters as I really want to finish this story but I have to do it quickly in order to not make everyone wait another five months.  
> This is completely unbeta'd because I don't want anyone to have to wait.   
> I'm sorry to dandelionlass for disappearing again.   
> If anyone follows all of my stories, I probably won't be writing anymore. This fandom and writing and reading about Everlark used to allow me to escape from my life for a little while but now I simply can't do that.   
> I love everyone of you that has stuck around. <3

Peeta practically threw himself into catching Clove. For the first time in his life, Delly says, he completely halted everything at work. I appreciated it at first, seeing him so gung-ho on finding his deranged ex-submissive that tried to kill me. Then it became sort of comical. Many nights Peeta and Haymitch would visit some of the old clubs or bars or meet-ups that Peeta would frequent while looking for a new sub. They’d ask around if anyone has seen or heard from Clove recently, hoping that she left a trail of bread crumbs at Peeta could easily follow. However, more times than not Peeta would come home with nothing more than aggravation. Now the manhunt is concerning. If I was Clove, I’d hope to God that the police found me before Peeta did.

“Peeta,” I grumble as I shield my eyes. “When I said I wanted you to come to bed, this wasn’t what I had in mind.”

Peeta’s sitting with his back against the headboard and his knees bent to keep this laptop in front of his face. The bright shine from the computer screen makes it hard to see his face but I’m sure it’s masked in concentration as he types away on the keyboard.

“Peeta,” I say again to get his attention.

“What?” He asks and after a few minutes of me not responding he catches my drift. “Oh, sorry.”

He spends about another five minutes or so typing then closes the computer. “I was e-mailing Margaret.”

“Aren’t you going to see her in like,” I glance over at the alarm clock to see that it’s reading almost three in the morning. “Four to five hours?” I finish my sentence.

“I’m not going in to the office tomorrow, I’m meeting with the dominate Clove had after me.”

“What? You have that gigantic meeting tomorrow. You’ve been working on this project for the entire time that I’ve known you and longer.”

“Margaret will know what to do. This is more important.”

I sigh. “Peeta, I love how badly you want to see her locked up. Thank you for taking so much action. Not many people would, especially with all the secrets that Clove could spill if she were to get caught. I think that it’s time to let the authorities to handle it though.”

“The police will never be able to catch her.”

“Then hire someone who specializes in it. It’s been a month and all you’re doing is running around in circles, making your assistant take on the weight of an entire company, and worry me to death.”

I’m concerned for Peeta, truly. It’s gotten to the point where I feel sick in the mornings when he leaves because today might be the day that I get the call from Haymitch that Peeta found Clove and he did something stupid like kill her. I’ve started a habit of stress eating, which Effie comments on regularly. I just want to forget that that night ever happened. I want to forget who Clove is. I want to return to work without being stared at. I want be mad at Peeta for coming home at all hours of the morning instead of being at my side when I fall asleep. I want to take baby steps back into the play room because despite everything, that room was a great way to release the negative energy trapped inside me.

“I need to find her myself.”

“And I need you to be here with me.”

“Katniss—“ Peeta begins before I cut him off.

“Do not Katniss me. I barely spent any time with you before I was hospitalized and I barely see you now. I have more of a relationship with Haymitch and Effie than you right now. Even on Christmas you were obsessing with all of this. Let go of the control, be with me. You want to protect me right?” Of course Peeta nods his head. “Well she’s hurting me right now. She’s pulling you away into this manhunt when I just want you to hold me.”

Peeta places his laptop on his bedside table and turns out his light immediately, bringing his arms around me securely. He places a series of kissing along the column of my neck and across my shoulder before whispering he loves me.

“I love you too, Peeta.”

***

I’m sitting at the breakfast bar, working from home on my laptop when Haymitch strolls into the kitchen from the elevator. He and Peeta had left a little over two hours ago and when Haymitch didn’t immediately return, I figured that Haymitch was staying through the duration of Peeta’s big meeting.

“Did Peeta forget something?” I ask barely looking up from the e-mail’s Johanna has sent me.

“No. Effie is feeling under the weather so I did a bit of the grocery shopping.”

“Oh, that’s nice of you,” I chew on the cap of my pen.

“I also picked something up for you.”

“What?”

Haymitch places something on the counter and I look at it. Ice water has been bumped on me that turns my blood and breath into ice.

“Is this a joke?” I question slowly as I pick up the pregnancy test.

“I’ve taken a notice to things,” Haymitch says simply.

I almost want to snap. “Like what things? I’m not pregnant, Haymitch.”

“Well, I often go grocery shopping with Effie and I noticed something the last few times we went. I had asked if we needed to go down the aisle that keeps all the feminine products and she said no. Then I asked the next time and again Effie said no again. Now I’m fairly good at guessing when it’s Effie or your time of the month since we’ve inhabited the same living space for a while now but I thought since you moved back in not too long ago, maybe it changed. However, I also noticed that you haven’t been writing tampons or whatever else you girls need during that time on Effie’s grocery list and I know for a fact that you don’t have any because I just checked.”

“Do you not believe in any sort of privacy? I’m not pregnant Haymitch,” I say again with a little more diction.

“Prove it to me then.”

“Are you fucking crazy? I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

“No you don’t, Sweetheart. I just thought that you’d like to have that and would be too scared to buy one yourself.”

I roll my eyes at him, grab my laptop and hastily grab the pregnancy test box and storm off. I make sure I slam my bedroom door loud enough for Haymitch to hear it. The box gets tossed on the bed as I begin to pace around it. Stupid Haymitch, sticking his stupid nose in business that he doesn’t belong in.

Haymitch is wrong. Even though I threw out the birth control in a fit of anger and have had unprotected sex since then, I’m not pregnant. I can’t be; it’s impossible. Only it’s not. I let out a frustrated growl and grab the box. I’m going to prove that old bastard wrong.

I hastily read through the directions before repeating the steps in real life. The nagging knot in the pit of my stomach is growing, pulling on my heart and my stomach, causing both to hurt. I wait a minute longer than what the box says to wait. With a battle of emotions wracking my body I flip over the test on the counter and look at the results.

Oh.


End file.
